My Fiance, My Mistress and Me
by sincerelyalh
Summary: He wasn't supposed to go home with her, but he did. He thought it was just a one night stand, but it wasn't. He's not supposed to love her, but he does. "So make it simple, Edward. Leave her." AH, AU, OOC, canon pairings eventually ExB
1. Prologue

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

**Hello again, I told you I would have another story out soon. This is something different, nothing I've ever written before so I hope you all like it. Special thanks to my beta for cleaning this up for me, much love!**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Enjoy._****

* * *

><p>Prologue<p>

EPOV

This is wrong, this is so wrong. Our entire relationship has been wrong... but if being wrong means feeling this good, I don't want it to be right.

This, whatever this is, should have never happened. I'm supposed to be a married man; at least I should be tomorrow. I should have listened to everyone who told me to call off the wedding in the beginning. Now, it's too late. Everything is fucked up but I don't care as long as I can have this beautiful woman by my side.

"Edward," she whispers above me. She's beautiful. The way the moonlight shines from my window onto her face, the way her lips are parted as she rocks her hips back and forth on me and the way she suddenly takes her bottom lip between her teeth engrosses me.

Her eyebrows have furrowed together, concentrating on making both of us feel good for what could be the last time if everything doesn't work out. One hand is in her hair while the other lies flat on my chest. Her eyes are closed tight as she speaks again, "Edward."

I pull her down to me so my face is in the crook of her neck; I kiss her there before resting my lips by her ear, "Yes, love?"

"Tell me you love me," she moans as I grab onto her hips, speeding her rhythm. Our breathing becomes heavier and her moans grow louder.

She's killing me, and she knows it. She knows if I say those words then she has me. But how can I deny her? She does have me, wrapped around her small but strong fingers. I should have known this is how it would've turned out with us, Jasper warned me.

"Be careful with her. She's a manipulative one. I've seen it happen. All it takes is one look from her and guys are hooked," he told me.

I'm more than hooked, I'm fucking addicted. Addicted to the way we fit so perfectly in each other, the way she makes me feel when we're together and the way my name rolls off her lips as she climaxes.

She's like my own personal brand of heroin.

"I love you, so fucking much," I say as we come hard together, all but yelling each other's names and how much we love each other. Our chests rise and fall quickly as we try and catch our breath. I kiss her face and wrap my arms around her. She pulls away and slides herself off of me. We lay together, me staring at my ceiling and her with her back facing me, silently.

This isn't normally how it is when we finish. We usually want to be all over each other. Kissing and hugging each other or holding onto to each other for dear life because we know this moment we're sharing together won't last forever. Soon, someone will call us telling us to put our clothes back on because I have to go get ready for the wedding even though I won't be going down the aisle.

I turn on my side, scooting closer until my chest is pressed up against her back. I move the hair that's covering her shoulder and kiss there. She shivers and her breaths become uneven.

"I really do love you," I tell her. My words have never been so true. Not even with my own fiancé.

I kiss her shoulder again. She moves before I can wrap my arms around her again. She sits all the way up, back still facing me. She moves her hair onto her right shoulder, showing off the blue butterfly tattoo.

"What's wrong?" I ask running my fingers down her spine. She shivers again but doesn't say anything. I put my lips to her back, "Please tell me," I whisper against her.

She arches her back in attempt to get away from me, "If you really love me you just would leave her." The cracking in her voice lets me know she is crying.

Fuck.

I sit up all the way, too.

"You know I would if it were that simple, Bella."

"So make it simple, Edward. Just leave her," she snaps, spinning fast to finally look at me.

This is, I've tried and it isn't as simple as we would like it to be. My fiance is a smart, spiteful bitch to let me go easily.

Strands of her hair stick to her tear stained cheeks. The look she's giving me is enough to make me feel like a dickhead for putting her through this all these months. It's my entire fault we're in the situation. It was only supposed to be a one night stand, we were both drunk off our asses, but it quickly became more than that. What sucks even more is I don't regret a thing and neither does she.

I truly love Bella and if the circumstances were different, I would say it aloud. I'd be proud to put an engagement ring on her finger. I'd show her off to my family. I'd call her my wife and try for children with her.

Pinching the bridge of my nose I sit up and groan, frustrated with myself and this situation that is my fault. She looks away again; putting her face in her hands and continues to cry. I want to touch her, comfort her and let her know it'll be okay, that she has nothing to worry about and I'll call the wedding off in the morning, but even I wouldn't be able to believe me.

"I'm sorry," I say. It's not enough though. I owe her much more than an apology for these last months but she knows it's the best I can do until everything is settled.

She sniffs, running her fingers through her hair again and pushing it to the left side covering her tattoo. I feel the bed shift a little and watch as she turns around to crawl on her hands and knees to me. She pushes me back down with one of her hands and climbs on top of me. She lightly brushes her lips against mine, making me lean up for me. She pushes me back down again, but comes down with me.

"Love me," She says in the smallest whisper.

I only nod before pushing her over to be on top and kissing her temple, "Always."

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think.<strong>

**Follow me on twitter: twitter (dot)com /vampirelove345**


	2. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **_**I own nothing but the plot.**

**I can honestly say I was overwhelmed with the reviews and alerts I got from you all. Thank you so so sooo much. I'm really glad you liked it and I hope you continue to like it. There were two questions I saw from you all a lot, so here's my answer to everyone.**

**1. Happily Ever After? I have no clue where this is going yet. I don't like happily ever afters but it is an option.**

**2. I don't have a set schedule as to when I'm going to update. If you are a reader from previous stories, you know I'm a dancer. To all of you who didn't know, WHAZZUP I'M A DANCER. It's Summer and school may be over but dance is just starting again. I go away for a week twice in the Summer but I'm hopefully going to be finished by the end of this Summer. Maybe****two chapters in a week?**

**Thanks to my wonderful betas.**

******_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._******

******_Enjoy._******

* * *

><p>Chapter 1<p>

_10 months earlier_

**EPOV**

"What about this one?" Tanya, my fiancé of a year, asks me for what feels like the millionth time today.

I feel like Port Angeles' Finest Wedding Dresses has become my home for the day, except without a comfortable chair and TV. Tanya has been standing on a small stage surrounded by mirrors for hours. She has to have tried on more then two hundred dresses. We've been here since twelve and it's almost four.

I sigh and look up from my BlackBerry for once.

The only difference between this dress and the last one she had on is it's strapless with diamonds covering the torso; otherwise it looks the same as the others. The veil is different. It has a tiara connected to it and covers her shoulders unlike the other ones.

"It looks great, honey!" I say as enthusiastic as I can. It must not have worked because her face falls and her hands attach to her hips. "What?" I ask stupidly, looking at the ladies assisting us. They just laugh and shake their heads.

"Men," one of them says as they gather the other dresses and leave.

"Edward, are you even paying attention?" she asks. I shake my head, no, telling her the truth. She throws her hands down and groans, "Obviously. You've said that about all the others I tried on."

"Really?" I ask and she nods, hurt in her eyes. This is supposed to be her time; I overheard her talking to my mother, Esme, about how she's been dreaming of this since we first met three years ago. She wants the perfect dress, the perfect hair, the perfect cake, and the perfect food so she can overall have a perfect day. Is anything ever perfect though? No, but telling her that will only result in one of her bitch fits.

Tanya has always been like this, high maintenance and wanting everything to be perfect. She grew up in a mansion that looked over the city of Seattle. She went to a private school with stuck up rich people. Everything she owned was from a top designer and a thousand dollars wasn't a lot of money to her.

I blame her father.

She's a daddy's girl and he spoils her like she's the only child. I feel bad for her sisters, Kate and Irina, they don't get the attention Tanya gets from their father. He pays them and their children no mind. Tanya is the best daughter in the world in his eyes. He wants everything to be perfect for his "perfect daughter". His words. Not mine. I swear if I hadn't asked her to marry me under the moonlight with the biggest diamond engagement ring like she wanted, she would have said no. And if my father hadn't been number three in the nation for top surgeons of the world, our first date would have been a no go.

"I'm sorry love," I say ready to plead my case. "Isn't this something you're supposed to do with your mom, sisters or friends?"

"Not if I wanted to do it with you," she sighs looking the other way, hands still on her hips. Her leg bounces because she's annoyed with me. I can't help I'm a twenty six year old man who doesn't go shopping unless he needs boxers or socks. Plus I thought the groom wasn't supposed to see the wedding dress until the wedding day. Isn't it bad luck or something?

Tanya takes off the veil and steps down from the small stage. I stand up from my seat and meet her in the middle of the room. I wrap my arms around her waist and she wraps hers around my neck. I kiss her forehead softly before telling her how sorry I am for not paying attention. She forgives me and kisses my lips.

"You do look beautiful," I tell her. "It won't matter what dress you pick out."

She kisses my chin then my jaw line, making her way to my ear before she whispers, "Because either way you'll be taking it off."

My eyes close and a growl escapes from me as she continues to kiss my neck. She's testing my limits here and I'm not sure I can take it.

Before it can get too carried away, I reluctantly peel her hands off of me and hold them close to me. I kiss them then kiss her forehead and pull her in for a hug, "I love you."

"I love you, too." She whispers.

We stand there together, holding each other. Her hands run up and down my back as I sway us side to side. It reminds me of our second date. I took her to dinner and there was a live jazz band there. I asked her to dance; she declined not because she didn't like me but because she didn't have any rhythm. Ignoring her wishes to stay seated I pulled her to the dance floor. I pulled her feet on top of mine and swayed her side to side, like I am at this very moment.

"If you want to go you can. I told Rosalie to meet me here when she got done with her photo shoot. I'm sure she'll bring Emmett so he'll have something to do. You two can go get drinks at one of the bars."Just as she says that the bell on the front door rings from someone opening it. "There they are."

They aren't a hard couple to miss. Emmett is huge, muscle wise, and tall. His fitted black shirt looks like it could rip at any time. Rosalie stands next to him, holding his hand, symbolizing that he is hers and no one else's to look at or touch. Her black rimmed sunglasses take up half her face and her black Sunday church hat isn't too small either. They're both wearing red. Emmett wears a red v-neck, a black leather jacket, jeans and red Nikes. Rosalie is wearing a red dress that compliments her perfect figure and flawless, pale skin. Her black stilettos make her slightly taller than Emmett.

Rose takes her hat off releasing her big, curled, blond hair when Emmett lets go of her hand to puts his arms in the air.

"Big brother in the house!" he yells. Rosalie slaps his arms and tells him to quiet down. He tells her to live a little then kisses her nose. She rolls her eyes and laughs.

Rosalie and Emmett have been married to each other since Rosalie got out of high school. They first met when Rosalie was a freshmen and Emmett was a senior. They hit it off right away despite everyone's wishes for them to stay away from each other because of their age difference. It was only four years but I think they would have freaked out if she had been dating me even though she's only one year older.

All hell broke loose when Emmett chose to give up his full ride football scholarship to UCLA so he could stay close to Rose while she finished school. The entire town of Forks assumed she was pregnant and bashed her name for his choices.

Truth was Emmett didn't like football. He was just good at it. He always had a dream to open his own auto shop. He was fine going to Seattle University and studying business and engineering. His dream and Rosalie was worth much more than a scholarship to UCLA.

They've proved everyone wrong. They're stronger than most of the couples that have been married for twenty years. They balance each other out. Rosalie needs someone to handle her controlling, bitchy, narcissistic attitude and Emmett needs someone to handle his childish, immature days.

"Hello Rosalie," I say as they walk towards me. We embrace and she moves to Tanya. They tell each other how great the other looks.

"Dude, you owe me big time!" Emmett exclaims after we do our boyish hand shake and hug.

"Don't I always?" He shrugs and nods his head. I roll my eyes, "What for now?"

"Brother," Emmett says throwing his arm over my shoulder and I suddenly wish I hadn't asked. "Rosalie and I, we were about to get it on! I'm talking dick out and everything!" he says too loudly earning a glare from his wife. He blows her a kiss, "Sorry baby, it's on when we get home though."

She winks at him and I almost gag.

"Come on," I say pulling him out of the door. "Let's go to the bar, I'll buy us drinks."

"I know the perfect place!" He yells and runs away from me.

I blow a kiss to Tanya who returns the same and follow him to his black Chevy Escalade.

…

"What is this place, Em?" I ask when he pulls up to a building with the title_ The Treasure Chest: Gentleman's Club._

"A strip club, what does it look like?" He turns off the car and gets out.

"A strip club,'' I answer dumbfounded. "Why are we here?"

"To get drinks, dumbass, what else would we be here for?"

"A lap dance."

"Smartass, we're here to get drinks. That's it. Then we'll leave. The stripping and lap dances don't start until eight. It's almost five, we have some time. Loosen up and have some fun. I won't let you get into trouble," he says with a sly smirk and I can't help but to not trust him.

Once we're inside, we seat ourselves. The room is dim and the only thing illuminating it is the stage shaped like a T. On each leg of the stage there are three silver poles for the strippers to dance. The surrounding light take turns pulsating different colors in time with the music.

There are men already seated with drinks, drunk already. Women, strippers I assume due to their lack of clothing, sit and flirt with them.

I feel uncomfortable.

"Damn, Eddie, relax a little bit." Emmett puts his hand on my shoulder and shakes me. It doesn't help. "Don't be such a mama's boy."

I flick him off, "I'm relaxed."

"Speaking of mama's boy," I watch as his face changes to serious. "How are Esme and Carlisle?"

Esme and Carlisle Cullen, our adoptive parents, are two people who didn't agree with the marriage of Emmett and Rosalie. Their four year age difference wasn't okay with them either. Like everyone else in Forks, Carlisle damned their relationship to hell when Emmett didn't choose the scholarship. He called Rosalie every name but her own. Of course Emmett defended her and the intense fight forever changed our family.

We haven't had a real family holiday since Emmett went away to college. They moved to Seattle after I graduated and I liked living in a small town as does Tanya. We barely go home and mostly communicate by phone calls and emails. Carlisle didn't even go to the wedding and Esme was forced to walk down the aisle with me.

My heart goes out to Esme. She miscarried four times before deciding to adopt Emmett and me. All she ever wanted was a good, healthy, happy family and when she got that her husband shunned one of them away. Emmett was and still is a disappointment to him and I'm more than sure if I hadn't followed his footsteps in the medical field, I would be one, too.

"She's okay, she misses us," I tell him honestly.

I talked to her last week and I could hear the sadness in her voice when she asked about him.

"You should call her."

"Maybe," he shrugs, not wanting to talk about it anymore. I let it go.

"Hey, look who it is!" A girl, who looks too young to be working here, comes up to mine and Emmett's table.

She is short, even with her black and red stilettos. She's wearing a black corset with black leggings. Her hair is a dark brown and short, it's gelled so it sticks up like a Mohawk. Her grey eyes are painted with black eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow bringing them out. She has a nose ring and an eyebrow ring. If her smile didn't remind me of my five year old cousin, I'd think she's pretty badass.

"Alice!" Emmett says throwing his hands up then pulls her into a hug. She giggles and sits down next to him. "How are you doing today?"

"Tired," she tells him. "How about you? How's Rosalie?"

"We're both doing very good, thank you for asking."

"Good," she says then turns attention towards me. "And who's this?"

"Oh, this is my brother Edward. Edward this is Alice, she works here." He smiles, proud of his introduction.

"Really, I couldn't tell," I say sarcastically then extend my hand, "Nice to meet you Alice."

"Such manners you Cullen boys have." She takes my hand with an impressed smile. "You don't see much of those around here. What can I get you two boys?"

"Two beers please," I answer.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

We watch as she walks back to the bar then disappears into another room. Emmett turns around, shaking his head and smiles, "She's got a nice ass don't you think?"

"How old is she?" I ignore his question.

"Just turned twenty-two last week. Her boyfriend, Jasper, owns this place."

"And he lets her work here?" I say gesturing to where she walked off.

He nods, "Jasper is very protective of Alice. Last time I was here some guy grabbed her hips when she gave him a lap dance and Jasper went crazy. He sent the guy to the hospital with three broken ribs, a broken nose and a busted lip. Police threatened to shut down the place if it happened again."

"Why let her continue to work here then?"

He sighs, "So many questions. Ali brings in the money. You saw her, she's fucking hot."

I nod in agreement but say nothing because Alice is coming back with two beers in her hand and another girl following behind her.

This girl also looks young. She's barefoot but still taller than Alice. Her outfit is much like Alice's except the corset cuts off at her ribs and instead of capris she's wearing a black lace mini skirt. Her hair is light brown with blond streaks in it. It's been straightened and put back with a headband showing off her dangling silver earrings. They match her dangling belly button ring. Her makeup is dark like Alice's, too. It brings out her chocolate brown eyes.

"Here's your drinks, boys," she says setting them down. I immediately take mine and drink, "And this is one of our new dancers, Isabella."

"Nice to meet you Isabella," Emmett offers his hand out to her.

She takes it with a smile, "Call me Bella." She winks then turns to me, "And you are?"

I take the bottle away from my mouth, "Edward."

"Nice to meet you Edward." She extends her hand. I take it but pull away when our hands touch. I swear there was a spark and by the looks of it she felt it, too.

"Same to you," is all I can say.

I keep my eyes focused on the table as everyone has their conversation. I only join in every so often, nodding and laughing at the right times. The girls have taken a seat, Alice next to Emmett and Bella next to me. I try and keep our distance, but every so often our knees touch.

"Well we should get going; we have a lot to do before we perform tonight," Alice says standing up and fixing her skirt. Bella does the same, lightly brushing my hand in the process.

Alice picks up our bottles in one hand with the other on her hip, "You two better be staying for the show."

Emmett shakes his head, "Nah, we have to get back to our ladies."

"You guys are married?" Bella asks shocked. Her eyes are wide and apologetic for what she just did.

"Just him." I point to Emmett, hoping to make her feel slightly better.

"And you're engaged or did you forget?" Emmett says with a chuckle then takes a sip of his beer. "But don't you worry, our ladies would be cool if we wanted to stay, but I got some business to take care of. If you know what I mean."

The girls giggle when Emmett wiggles is eyebrows hoping they catch on. I can feel Isabella's eyes on me. My eyes stay locked on the table until they leave.

"Maybe we should totally stay for their show, Alice is great and since she taught Bella everything she could know I'm sure she's good. She says she's flexible."

"Eh, I don't think so, not tonight." I say hoping he'll just say okay and let it go. He doesn't.

"What about for your bachelor party then?"

"Why not get a stripper of your own? Oh right because Rosalie would kill you just like Tanya would kill me if I ordered strippers for my bachelor party."

If there's anyone more protective of us than our mother, it's our girls. Well, Rosalie really takes over for Tanya. She's number one on the list of girls to not fuck with unless you want your ass beat.

"Actually, Rosalie is the one who took me here. She knows Jasper from somewhere." This surprises me. "Yeah my girl's amazing, loves cars and loves getting lap dances from other girls."

I roll my eyes, "Let's go."

"Man, Bella wants your dick." He grabs my wrist stopping me.

Even though she basically just sent me all the signs that she does, I shake my head in disbelief, "I have to disagree with you there, bud."

"Well I agree with myself. She wants your dick. Did you not see the way she was looking at you?"

"Apparently not." I pull him up before he can continue. He says nothing of it the rest of the way home.

…

"Tanya?" I call when I step through the front door.

"In the kitchen," she yells back. "How was the rest of your day with Emmett?"

"Pretty good."

She's in the silk, pink robe I bought her for Valentine's Day last year and socks. Her strawberry blond hair is wet and put up in a messy bun. She turns around showing she's not wearing makeup or anything underneath the robe.

"How was dress shopping?" I ask trying to keep my eyes up and not on her hard nipples poking through the robe.

She grimaces, "I couldn't decide, none of the dresses were perfect."  
>My nose flares at the use of her new favorite word. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her, "Beauty is in the imperfections," I say kissing her temple.<p>

"Yeah," she says with a sigh, "but I don't want imperfect. I want perfect."

"You have me and I'm not perfect," I pull away and look deep into her hazel eyes.

"You're perfect to me." She stands up on the tips of her toes to kiss me.

I slip my tongue in her mouth and we let each other fight for dominance. I pick her up and set her on the counter. I stand between her legs and she wraps them around me. I pull the robe down her shoulders and kiss her neck. A soft moan escapes from her and her fingers lace in my hair.

"Fuck," I say when my phone rings.

"Ignore it," she pleads, pulling me closer and tighter to her.

It stops ringing as I move to her collarbone but starts ringing again two seconds later.

I groan, knowing that I must answer it. I kiss her lips, silently apologizing and answer.

"Doctor Cullen speaking."

"Hey Edward," my co-worker, Jane, says, "People decided tonight was the best night to get hurt and really sick so the ER needs you. Can you come in?"

I look at Tanya who is shaking her head and mouthing the words, "No".

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before speaking again, "Yeah I'll come in."

Tanya's rolls her eyes as she looks the other way. She pulls her robe back up on her shoulders while shaking her head in annoyance. She gets down from the counter and pushes past me.

"Wait, babe," I call after her. She's already half way up the stairs when I reach her.

"No, it's okay, go to work," she tells me, though I know not to believe her when she says something is okay. If I did, I would only make it worse for myself when we have our next fight.

She tries to shut our door in my face, but I stop it before she can. "I'll be home in the morning; I might even get off early," I tell her as she crawls in our king sized bed.

It's no use trying to explain to how overreacting isn't going to make me stay home. I have a job and whether she likes it's or not, I'm committed to saving people's lives. So instead of pleading with her to forgive me, I let it rest, take a shower and leave after giving her a kiss on her cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>Tanya's bitch fit #1, more of that coming.<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**follow me on twitter: twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345**


	3. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: **_**I own nothing but the plot.**

**1. So my little note about the happy ending apparently didn't fly with everyone. However, I didn't say Edward/Bella wouldn't be together. I said may as in might, maybe, etc. And I definitely didn't say Edward/Tanya would be together, I would never. Ew. But good news to those of you who want Edward/Bella together, they WILL be together... eventually. Therefore I WILL NOT move my story from the Edward/Bella category. It won't be a happy way, I don't like happy ever afters but I need you all to trust me when I say they'll be together. It's safe to read. Be patient, I know what I'm doing. Don't say I never did anything for you (;**

**2. Please reframe from swearing, cursing or using negative words with me in a negative way. Hell yeahs, fuck yeahs, etc. = positive. Damn it, damn you, etc. = negative. It's rude and since fanfiction is a positive place for me, I want to keep it that way.**

**3. There will be no Edward/Tanya lemons. That little small one was as far as I can get without wanting to puke. **

**4. Thanks to the reviewers: bugsmama07, cgoodwi2, and angel04une for making me laugh with their reviews. I really did laugh when I read them.**

**Thanks to everyone else who reviewed and put me on their alerts, you made me happy.**

**Special thanks to my betas!**

******_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._******

******_Enjoy._******

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 2<em>

**EPOV**

I arrived at the hospital at eleven to find Jane hadn't been joking about it being chaotic. There had been a four car accident that landed all nine passengers in the ER. The nurses had already been dealing with a broken arm, two high fevers and an asthma attack. I was more than happy I said yes.

I've always been proud to help people. I wasn't good at sports during high school like Emmett. The closet thing I did with sports was assist the sports therapist when an athlete was hurt. I coached everyone on good health and how to take care of their bodies. I was known as Doctor Cullen before I was handed the diploma that said I could be a doctor.

Everything has calmed down by two in the morning. I'm running on no sleep due to the spontaneous call in. I've yawned at least nine times in the last five minutes. My eyes burn each time they are exposed to light and I can feel them getting heavier as each minute passes. I can barely stand up or talk as I try to explain what task I need for the nurses to complete now that everything has settled down.

Being tired hasn't been the only thing keeping me distracted though. I can't keep my thoughts from constantly drifting off to Bella. She's probably dancing right now. Taking her clothes off without a problem in front of men who have no business being there. Those men are probably throwing hundred dollar bills at her and sticking them down her bra and skirt.

I wouldn't blame them. Her body is perfect.

"Are you okay?" Jane asks after I sway to the side and almost lose my footing.

"Yeah, I just haven't slept," I say rubbing my eyes and yawning. "I was up dress shopping with Tanya half the day and went for drinks with my brother afterwards. Then I got called in."

Her face scrunches up. "Sorry, why don't you go take a nap? I think we've got everything covered here."

Her suggestion does sound nice. I don't think I can make it the next couple of hours without sleep.

Taking a deep breath I nod. "An hour or so won't hurt. Are you sure you won't need me?"

"Relax Mr. Manager," she calls me by the childish nickname I received when I first got the job. No one had known my name.

"Okay." I hand her the clipboard with everything she needs on it. "Just an hour."

I retreat to my office in the back and lock the door behind me. I all but dive for the couch, grabbing a pillow in the process. I am grateful Tanya put a blanket in here. I don't bother to unravel it and put it over my entire body, instead I settle for just my upper body. I can smell the cinnamon and vanilla scent as I take slow, calming breaths. Soon my eyelids flutter close and darkness surrounds me.

...

I'm dreaming. I know I am. I have to be.

There's no way in hell that I'd be sitting in a chair watching Bella dance on stage willingly in real life. I wouldn't be watching her slowly take her top off releasing her perfect, round breasts. I wouldn't be watching as she dances around the pole, pulling herself up to the top only to spin back down. I wouldn't let her come down from the stage and straddle me. I wouldn't let her give me a lap dance that makes my dick grow harder under my pants. I wouldn't.

Would I?

No.

Bella looks at me through her eyelashes. She smiles a smile that nearly kills me. My hands become glued to her hips as she continues to dance. She whips her hair around and pushes her chest up into my face.

She laces her fingers through my hair and pulls my head back. I try to contain the growl that is threatening to escape from my chest. I watch as she smiles again before leaning to down to whisper, "It's okay to want me, Edward. All the smart men do."

She winks and kisses me. The spark is there again, but stronger. It's like fire and ice.

"Say you want me, Edward," she demands from me.

You would think since this is my dream I would be able to control it, but I can't. My thoughts of her dominate my ability to function correctly.

She smiles at me again. It's almost as if she knows she has this kind of power over me.

"I want you, Bella."

She leans down to kiss me but takes my bottom lip through hers and sucks. I let out a soft moan, whimpering when she bites down.

"I know," she says before sliding down my body and unbuttoning my pants...

...

"Doctor Cullen!" I hear my name followed by banging on my door. The knob turns but it doesn't open since it's locked. "Doctor Cullen, it's been an hour."

I clear my throat before answering, "Yes, I'll be right out."

The banging stops and I listen as Jane walks away. I run my hand down my face, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake myself up. I'm sweating and my heart is beating faster than normal. Looking down I notice the tent shape my work pants formed from my hard on.

It was just a dream but it didn't mean it wouldn't effect me.

"Shit," I say tiredly, trying to adjust and make it go down.

Good thing I locked the door. If Jane or any other nurse came in and saw me like this they would have been scarred for life.

Without turning on any lights I get up from the couch and leave my office.

"I'm going for a smoke," I tell the nurses.

It's ironic for a doctor to be smoking outside of a hospital so I go to a spot where no one can see me. Only a couple of people know about it. I have to pass three trees and turn left before I'm in a small meadow. I haven't been out here since last spring.

From what I can see with the little bit of moonlight the leaves have fallen and there aren't any flowers. The grass has dried and turned an ugly shade of brown. Someone has put two benches, three lunch tables and a bird bath out here.

My phone says I have five missed calls from Tanya and two from my mother. It's four and neither of them are up yet, so I put my phone in my back pocket and light a cigarette. I sit on the edge of the bench, gaze up at the starless sky and let my mind wonder.

Inhale. Exhale.

There's ten months left until August.

Inhale. Exhale.

Ten months left until I'm a married man.

Inhale. Exhale.

I can't and I won't let my lustful attraction to Bella distract me from Tanya and our road to our new life.

Inhale. Exhale. Flick. Step.

I won't.

...

I'm home by eleven. Tanya is up making breakfast. She's changed out of her robe into jeans and a tight yellow shirt. Her hair is dry and straight.

I silently lean against the wall and wait for her to acknowledge I'm here.

"How was work?" she asks after five minutes. Her tone of voice leads me to believe she's still upset I chose work over staying home with her.

"Busy," I say taking deep breath. "How did you sleep?"

"Alone," she says coldly.

"Honey, I've already apologized for that," I tell her, pushing myself off the wall. She turns around, arms crossed and eyebrow up. "If I hadn't gone in last night, nine people would have died. I can't live with that."

I watch as the mood changes in her eyes. She's no longer upset and bitter. She's calm and understanding. She nods and uncrosses her arms.

"I called you, on your cell phone and at work. You didn't return either of them. I was worried so I didn't sleep that well."

"I'm sorry for not answering back," I say walking to her and taking her in my arms. Now that I'm closer I can see the bags under her eyes and how tired she is. I kiss her forehead and run my fingers up and down her back. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm off for the next two days."

She pulls away to look up at me and smiles. "Good." She takes a deep breath and relaxes a little more. "Esme called here last night, after you left, and this morning. You didn't answer her calls either?"

"See, you're not the only one I'm ignoring." Her mouth falls open before she smiles and rolls her eyes. I kiss her open mouth and laugh, too." Let me go shower and call Esme. Then we can spend the entire day together."

She nods, kisses me again then goes back to the stove to work on breakfast.

I run up the stairs, stripping on the way there. The smell of a hospital and smoke lingers on my clothes and my body. I'm surprised Tanya hadn't said anything. She would kill me if she found out I was smoking again.

It wasn't like it was an everyday activity. When life becomes too much, or I'm feeling a little stressed, I smoke. I believe my dream of Bella was a good enough excuse.

After showering, I dress in a white v-neck and sweats. I call Esme and she picks up on the second ring, asking me to hold while she goes into another room. I assume it's because Carlisle is home.

"Edward," she breathes. She sounds tired and sad. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

I listen as she takes a deep breath then speaks, "Do you think you could talk Emmett into coming home for Thanksgiving?"

I bite my lip. "I can try mom." It's the best I can give her.

I can almost feel her smile when she realizes there's a chance she might have her sons home for the holiday. I just hope she doesn't get her hopes high. It would hurt her if things don't work out the way she wants.

"Thank you so much sweetie. I'll call you later. Love you."

I tell her I love her back then hang up. Running my fingers through my hair I groan.

Too much at once.

…

It's been three weeks since Esme called me. I should be worrying about convincing Emmett to come home with me for Thanksgiving in three weeks, but instead I'm too worried about my dreams of Bella. They've only gotten worse since the night in the hospital. My lustful attraction for her has only grown. I even day dream about her.

I see her body. Her eyes. Her lips.

I feel her skin against mine. Her eyes on me. Her lips kissing me. Her hands touching me everywhere.

I feel bad. I have a fiance who I should be paying more attention to.

Tanya can see something is bothering me. I'm not going to tell her that there's another woman I dream about. She'd take it as I'm sleeping with her which is not what I'm doing.

"Honey, can you get me something to drink?" I hear Tanya but I don't move.

My head isn't in our living room. I'm not paying attention to the movie we're watching or anything she's saying.

My thoughts are of Bella. Again. This time we're in the hospital meadow and I'm fucking her silly on the bench and lunch table. I push into her hard and pull out slowly. I can see the pleasure on her face as she grabs onto the bench.

"Edward!" she screams then grabs onto my work coat.

"Edward!" Tanya yells then throws a pillow at me.

I snap out of my thoughts and look at her.

"I've called your name like ten times. Where's your head?"

"Here," I answer quickly.

Her eyebrow rises. I give her a small smile then get up. "You said you wanted something to drink. What would you like?"

"Water, please."

I can feel her eyes on me as I walk to the kitchen. I get her a glass and fill it up with water. I splash water from the sink in my own face.

"Edward." The sound of Tanya's voice makes me jump. "Shit. Sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I don't mean for my voice to be as loud as it is. I shut the water off and turn around handing her the cup.

She walks over and takes it from me then sits it down on the table. "Why are you lying to me? Something is wrong and you've been distancing yourself."

She looks deep in my eyes, searching for something. I look away from her.

"I'm just tired," I lie to her face. "I've been working a lot lately." That much isn't a lie. I've taken so many hours in hopes to distract myself. It hasn't worked.

"Then maybe you should go to bed and stop working so much," she snaps, irritated that I'm not telling her what's really bothering me.

"Maybe you should drop the subject," I snap back at her.

"Fine, consider it dropped," she says, picking up the glass of water and going back into the living room.

I feel like the room is closing in on me. I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to get out of this house.

So I do.

...

"One shot please," I tell the bartender. He nods and goes to get it ready for me.

"Whoa, rough night?" The voice is familiar. I've met the owner and heard it in my dreams. I silently pray that the owner is not who I think it is and turn around. "Bella."

"Hi, Edward." she smiles then waves at the bartender. "Beer please."

She's wearing a black leather jacket with a red cami underneath. When she leans over the counter it rides up, showing her skin. Her jeans are black with rips in them, they hug her hips perfectly. She has on a black silver studded belt and her shoes are black boots. Her eye makeup is dark again and her hair is wavy. It looks redder than when I first met her.

"Uh, yeah rough night," is all I can say.

"I'm sorry." The bartender slides her the beer and my shot. "Want to talk about it?"

I shrug. "Not really."

I'm not going to sit here and vent to her mine and my fiance's problems. I'm sure as hell not going to tell her the problem is that I can't get her out of my head.

She nods understanding, then takes a sip of her beer. We sit in silence drinking our drinks while everyone around us is having a conversation of their own or dancing. I realize silence doesn't make anything better so I try and make conversation with her.

"What are you doing at a Forks bar? Don't you live in Port Angeles?" I ask.

She nods. "I was visiting family in La Push and decided to pull over for a drink, or two."

"You're from La Push?" She nods. "Really?"

She giggles. "Do I not look like it?" I shake my head no, honestly. "That's a good thing. My dad's friends with people over there and we moved when my mom left."

I only nod. I don't want to know about her personal life.

I ask for two more shots and Bella asks for another beer. She snorts when I down them both as soon as I get them.

"What?" I ask, amused as to why she finds me drowning myself in my own misery funny.

She shakes her head. "I'm just curious to find out how you're going to get home tonight. Demetri here makes some strong drinks and you just had three. You don't look like you weigh a lot. My guess it is you'll be falling over in the next thirty minutes."

"Doubt it."

"Want to bet?" Her face lights up.

I shrug. "Sure. Twenty bucks says I won't be drunk by midnight."

We shake on it.

"As a matter of face, Demetri, get me a shot or two," she tells him. He laughs but does what she asks. She downs both when he gives them to her. "You might want to start calling a cab for me, D."

"I'll get right on it," he tells her while taking our glasses away and leaving us to ourselves.

"So when are you getting married?" she asks me.

It catches me off guard. "Uh, August thirteenth."

She nods. "You've got a while." I nod. "Are you nervous?"

I shrug. "Not really. I've been with her for a while."

"Oh, so you're a committed man." She takes another sip of her beer with a smirk on her face. I can feel the effects of the shots and shake my head to keep my train of thought.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"That twenty dollars is so mine." She giggles. I start to wish I never bet her in the first place. "Come dance with me."

"What?" I heard what she asked. I'm just shocked by it.

"You and me. Dance floor," she says gesturing to where everyone is dancing.

They're dancing close, practically fucking on the dance floor. Some of them are kissing and rubbing their hands all over each other.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I tell her, biting my lip.

"Aw, why not? You think your fiance is going to come through the door?" Her eyes glance to the doors behind me and I look back with her. When I turn around her face is about two centimeters from me. I can feel her breath as she exhales. Her lips lightly brush against mine and she smiles. "You know you want to."

"O-okay," I choke out.

She pulls me to the dance floor. I look back at where we were just sitting. Demetri, the bartender, brings one of the shot glasses I drank from earlier and tips it towards me, smile wide on his face.

My attention turns back to Bella who has stopped us. She wraps my arms around her waist then puts hers around my back. We sway at first and when the music starts to pick up she pulls me closer. I try not to stand there awkwardly as she turns around pressing her ass against me.

She shakes, pops and rubs her body against mine. I work hard not to fall over but thanks to the shots it's not working.

"It's midnight," Bella says spinning around to face me again. She stops dancing and stands on the tips of her toes, her fingers wrap around the back of my neck. She smiles then brings her lips to my ear. "You owe me twenty bucks."

My eyes close as she backs away. She runs her fingers down my neck to my shoulders, then my chest to my zipper. My eyes shoot open in realization of what she's doing, but I can't find the will to tell her to stop.

"Did I do that?" I watch as a smirk plays on her face as she runs her fingers up and down my growing bulge.

It happens fast.

My eyes lock with hers. My hand finds its way into her hair. I pull her closer to me. I kiss her. She kisses me back. Our tongues dance together.

She feels nothing like Tanya.

She feels better.

We pull away from each other slowly. Her eyes stay closed and her lips stay parted.

"I'm-" I try to apologize, but her finger stops me.

"Come home with me."

* * *

><p><strong>Told you. Let's welcome the first cliffy of the story *claps*<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**follow me on twitter: twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345**


	4. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer_: I own nothing but the plot**

**Hello all, glad you enjoyed the last chapter.**

**1. ****I think we should start building this thing called trust because after like two chapter things are going to get heavy. So let's all do a little trust fall... *catches everyone*. TRUST ME. With that being said, I can't answer anything else about the ending. At this point, there really isn't one. Woo!**

**2. No one is dying.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and put me on their alerts. Thanks to those who kept reading! Special thanks to my betas.**

**And now, here's what you've all been waiting for!**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Enjoy._****

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 3<em>

**EPOV**

"Come home with me."

I should have told her no. Instead, I silently nodded and let her pull me to the entrance and out to the parking lot. Demetri called a taxi for us. Neither of us can drive in this state. His mystery shots have me all over the place and even after just one shot, Bella can't function either.

Once we're in the taxi cab she tells them her address then all but jumps on me. We're all over each other. Moaning, groaning, grunting, and whimpering whenever one of us hits the other's "hot" spot.

She kisses me everywhere. From the top of my head until she gets down to the waistband on my jeans. She smiles up at me and I bite my lip. Just like my dream she unbuttons my pants. I lift my hips so she can pull them down to my knees.

I close my eyes as she takes my dick out of my boxers. She pumps slow at first then speeds up when I groan in pleasure. I'm hesitant to look in her eyes and when I do I become lost.

Is this okay? Her eyes ask when she run the tip of her tongue up my shaft. She swirls her tongue around the head then takes half of me in her mouth while she works the other half with her hand. My lip makes its way between my teeth as I try to stifle another moan. She continues to suck, lick and sometimes bite while I try not be too loud or cum all over the back of the taxi cab.

I lose it when she takes me whole and I hit the back of her throat. I try to pull away from her so I don't cum in her mouth but she pushes my hips down so I can't move. Her eyes tell me it's okay. I release inside of her and she swallows every bit of it.

She sits up, a smile wide on her face."That's only a little bit of what you're about to get inside."

I notice the cab has come to a stop and we're sitting in front of an apartment complex. I pull my pants up and buckle them as she pays the taxi driver.

"You can pay me in blow jobs like you did him." He chuckles. She rolls her eyes and hands him the money. The driver smiles at me as I get out. "You have a good time."

Bella is waiting for me at the steps. She took her jacket off and put her hair up.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do," she tells me then kisses the side of my mouth. I nod.

Problem is: I want to do everything. I want her. I want to taste her. I want to feel myself inside of her. I know I shouldn't, but I don't give a fuck. I want it all.

It takes two flights of stairs to get to Bella's apartment. She unlocks it and steps in. I follow in after her and she turns the lights on. Her apartment is nice. Clean and organized.

"It's not much," she shrugs, "but this is where I live."

I look around. A brown couch takes up majority of the living room space. There are paintings on every inch of the wall except where the TV is. There's a table behind the couch with a laptop and papers on it. Next to the table is a fish tank with three goldfish. There's a door that leads to the kitchen, but I can only see the refrigerator.

"Now where were we?" she asks trying to take my attention off of her home. She knows very well where we were five minutes ago.

She moves closer to me then wraps her arms around my neck to pull me towards her. She moans when I push my tongue inside her mouth. I can feel her reaching for the hem of my shirt then push it up. I raise my arms to help her get it off of me. She throws it to the side and lifts her arm so I can take her shirt off, too.

We turn together until I'm pushed into a wall. It doesn't hurt, but her force turns me on. She smiles and I lick my lips. I turn us again so she's on the wall. I raise her arms over her head and restrain her so she can't do anything.

I attack her neck, licking and sucking hard, hoping I leave a mark. I grip tighter when she tries to get loose and switch sides. She grinds her hips against mine, making my dick twitch. I lose my concentration and grip giving her the ability to slide from under me.

Her lips are on mine and she's pushing me backwards until she's able to kick the door to her room open. I pick her up and walk quickly to her bed, my lips still attached to hers.

I drop her on her back and she pulls my shoulders down. She rolls on top of me kissing my neck, chest and stomach. I roll on top of her then turn her over on her stomach. I unclasp her bra, turn her back around and pull it off. I have no idea where it lands nor do I care.

I take a second to relish the sight in front of me.

She's perfect.

I run my finger down her sternum until I get to her belly button. I let one hand palm one of her breasts while take the other in my mouth. I take turns between nipples; nipping, licking, and sucking on her small, pink buds. She puts her hands on my head, pulling me closer.

"Edward." The way she says my name gives me chills. I can feel the goosebumps rise on my arms as she runs her finger tips down them. She whimpers when I bite down again.

I kiss a trail down her stomach to her waistband. I kiss the middle of her stomach then go to her right pelvic bone. I run my tongue from the right to the left. Her back arches when I slightly dip my tongue down her jeans.

"Quit fucking with me." Her voice is strained. It feels good to know I have power over her when it's normally her who has power over me.

I unbuckle her studded belt and tell her to lift her hips. She does and I quickly strip her of her black jeans. I lick my lips at the sight of her red lace panties. I run my fingers down the middle of her breast again, but I don't stop until my fingers are touching her warm, wet sex.

"Did I do that?" I repeat her question from earlier. She rolls her eyes with a small smile.

I slowly pull her panties down her legs with one hand while the other runs up and down her core. She bites her lips and moans. I insert one finger in her and watch as she writhes underneath me, begging for more.

I take my finger out and put it in my mouth. I moan as I taste her. She's delicious.

She squeals when I pull her roughly to the edge of the bed. I throw her legs over my shoulders and she wraps them at the ankle. I kiss up her thighs, looking up at her. She stares back at me, lust and want in her eyes. After giving her a small smile and a wink, I run my tongue up her folds.

"Edward! Fuck! Please!" She screams when I insert two fingers in her and lay my tongue flat against her clit. I feel her clench around my fingers and take it out. I don't want her to come yet.

"Please what?" I ask her while removing her legs from my shoulders and standing up.

"Fuck me, " she says in barely a whisper while reaching for my belt.

I smile. "Where's your condoms?"

"Top drawer." She points to the dresser beside her.

Bella starts unbuckling my belt and taking my jeans off as I reach over to the drawer. I gasp when I feel her take me in her mouth again.

"Wait, baby, I don't want to come yet," I say pulling away from her after a few seconds.

She nods and lies back. I roll on the condom and spread her legs. I run my dick down her folds and almost come as I enter her. She's tight. Warm and tight. I growl as I pull out of her.

"Harder," she tells me.

I push into her harder and she smiles, pleasure on her face, meeting my thrusts. I smile at the sound of our skin slapping against each other.

Once we find a rhythm it feels like heaven. She rolls her hips in a way I can be inside deeper. I lean down and kiss her face, neck and chest.

"Edward, I'm going to come," she tells me breathlessly. "Come with me."

With one last, hard thrust we come together. I rest my head against her shoulder and she runs her fingers through my hair.

I slide myself off of her and lay next to her, breathlessly. She moans as she nestle herself into me. Her hands rest on her my chest. We lie in her bed, naked and comfortable. I play with the ends of her hair until she falls asleep. I soon fall asleep not worried about anything.

Not the time. Not my car. Not even Tanya.

...

I'm woken by the sun peeking through the curtains. I can already feel a headache coming as I rub my eyes and yawn. Once I can see I have no clue where I am. I try to sit up but a weight keeps me down. I gasp as I see what's keeping me down. Memories of last night flood into my head.

This isn't a dream. This isn't a game. This isn't a joke.

This is real. Bella in my arms is real. The sex we had last night was real.

I am fucked.

I replace myself with a pillow and gently slide out of her bed. I stretch while searching for my jeans. I find them at the edge of the bed and shake my head when I remember how they got there.

My phone is lighting up. Missed calls from Tanya, Emmett and Esme. Messages from Tanya, Emmett and Esme. Voice mails from Tanya, Emmett and Esme.

"Fuck." I run my hands through my hair and pull.

"Everything alright?" Her voice makes me jump.

"No, I need to go," I tell her looking around for my shirt.

"Yeah me too," she yawns. "I'll make us coffee and call us a cab so we can get our cars. Your shirt is in the hallway."

I watch as she casually gets up and walks into her bathroom, sheets covering her body.

How can she be so calm about this? I'm freaking out. Maybe she does this all the time and doesn't feel a thing afterwards. I've fallen for one of her tricks and ended up in a mess- a big mess. She isn't getting married in nine months. I am.

"I am more than fucked," I say to myself while dialing Emmett's number into my phone.

"Hello?" he answers tiredly.

"Emmett," I say pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Edward?" I can hear him sit up in his bed. "Dude, where the hell have you been? Tanya's all but sent a search team out from you."

I look around for something to bang my head on, but all I find is Bella standing in front of her vanity with her towel only covering her bottom half. I can see her breasts in the mirror. She smiles when she catches me staring.

"Edward, are you there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I got... distracted." Bella snorts.

"Where are you? It's Edward..." he tells Rosalie after asking who he was talking to. She goes into a fit, yelling about how Tanya's been crying all night about me leaving without a word.

"Emmett, I have something to tell you, but you can't tell anyone. Leave the room if you can."

"Okay?" There's question in his voice, but I hear him get up anyways. "Spill."

I open my mouth to tell him everything that happened last night, but I am stopped by a shoe being thrown at my hand. I turn towards Bella who is flailing her hands in the air telling me to stop. I thank God she found a bra to put on. She grabs a shirt, then quickly comes to where I'm standing.

"Breathe," she tells me and I do. "Okay," she says low enough so only I can hear her. "Say, I went out and partied last night. I got drunk and passed out on my steering wheel before I could drive."

I repeat every word she says.

"No way! Where were you?" he asks shocked. I'm surprised a little myself.

"Port Angeles," I tell the truth and Bella gives me thumbs up.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have seen the world again, maybe even visited Isabella."

My eyes widen when he says her name. Her eyebrow arches and she chuckles then leaves her room.

"Shut up, dickhead. I'll be home in about two hours."

"Don't tell me that, tell your fiance."

I don't even want to think about facing Tanya when I get home.

"Okay, well can you call her and tell her, my phone's dying and I can't get to my charger?"

"Sure thing chicken wing," he laughs at his own joke. "Oh, and I thought about Thanksgiving dinner at the parents' house. I'll go, for Mom, but if that douche says something about my lady, I'm out."

"Okay Em. That's all I can ask for and all Mom wants is for us to try."

"Yeah, I'll try alright. Try not to swing my fist in his direction."

"Emmett." I warn.

He chuckles. "Kidding. Talk to you later baby bro. That is if Tanya doesn't kill you."

We hang up.

"I am in deep shit," I mutter to myself then leave Bella's room to find my shirt. It's on the floor in the hallway like she said. I pick it up and put it over my head then continue to her kitchen.

"Everything good?" she asks while flipping bacon on the skillet.

"Yeah, everything's good. Thanks for stopping me from telling Emmett."

She shrugs."He looks like he has a hard time keeping a secret." I snort because she's right. She smiles and pours us coffee. "Sugar and stuff is over there." She points to a small jar with sugar and milk in it.

"When will the cab be here?" I ask taking two packets of sugar out.

She extends her arm to hand me the coffee. "About ten minutes or so. Is it cool if we're in the same one?"

I nod.

This is the most disheveled one night stand ever. I'm not supposed to be here. I was supposed to be gone an hour ago. We shouldn't be having bacon and coffee. This should be awkward between us. We shouldn't be so relaxed, at least I shouldn't.

I need to be worrying about my fiance at home. I should be scared shitless that I'm going to get caught in my lie. I should be regretting last night.

But as the minutes pass, I'm not worried. I'm not scared. I'm not regretting.

Ten minutes later the cab is here. The ride is silent and we sit on opposite sides of each other, afraid of a repeat of last night.

It takes us fifteen minutes to get from Bella's apartments to the bar. The parking lot is empty except our cars. I pay for the cab this time, since she paid last night, and thank the driver.

"What's your number?" she demands as the driver leaves.

"Why?"

"So we can hang out some time, again, as friends. This doesn't have to happen again." She smiles stepping closer to me. "Unless you want."

"No, I don't want." I lie to her and myself. Neither of them believe me.

"Number please." I take her phone, put it in for her and hand it back to her. She smiles then leans up and kisses my cheek. "Thanks. See you around."

And with that she's off and I'm left standing there, hands in my hair and emotionless in the middle of the parking lot of the bar that started all of last night.

"Fuck you Demetri and your mystery shots," I say to no one and walk to my car.

...

An hour later I'm pulling into my driveway. I hoped Tanya would have gone out so I wouldn't have to deal with her, but you don't always get what you hope for.

"Where were you last night?" Tanya asks with her arms crossed.

"Out," I say trying to pass her, but every time I go in one direction she steps in front of me. "Please move."

"Out where?"

"At a bar in Port Angeles, I got hammered and passed out on my steering wheel before I could start the car."

"You could've called me," she whines.

"I didn't know where my phone was and I wasn't looking for it," I say it more harsh than needed, but she backs down. She only stares at me and I can finally pass her without her stopping me. "I'm going to take a shower and we can go out to lunch or something."

She doesn't answer and I continue up the stairs.

I feel like I haven't been in our room in a long time. It's a mess. Our clothes are everywhere. The bed isn't made and it looks like a tornado hit our closet.

The bathroom is worse, but I do my best to ignore it and take a shower.

I close my eyes once and I don't do it again.

I see her. I feel her. I want her. I need her.

I do my best to wash quickly and get out. I brush my teeth, wash my face and do something with my tangled mess of hair. I find jeans, a nice shirt and shoes to put on then leave the room.

"Tanya," I say walking down the stairs. She hasn't moved from the spot she was in when I got home and still doesn't move after I said her name. "What happened to our room?"

"I thought you were leaving me." She's crying and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Why would I do that?"

She turns around, swiping tears away from her face, and shrugs, "I've been a bitch. I know when I need to give you space and not to pry."

I step all the way down the stairs and walk to her. "I'm sorry I made you feel like I was leaving you. I wouldn't do that." It should be her leaving me. I sigh and wrap my arms around her. "Go get dressed so we can go eat." She nods and I kiss her forehead.

My phone vibrates as soon as she's upstairs. I stare at the unknown number for a second, hoping it's not who I think it is.

_Thanks for last night (; -B_

I save her number but delete her message. Doesn't mean that I deleted the problem.

* * *

><p><strong>Do you trust me?<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**follow me on twitter: **twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345


	5. Chapter 4

_**_Disclaimer_: I own nothing but the plot**_

**Sorry this is super late I had a national competition for dance this week. It was amazing. We won the ultimate title and it's only our first year as a dance studio.**

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and put me on their alerts. You make me happy! Special thanks to those that are trusting me (; Special special thanks to my betas, they're awesome.**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Here's a little bit of Bella's POV. _********_Enjoy!_****

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 4<em>

**BPOV**

It's been a week. I don't know why I've expected him to call or text me back. Maybe because he willingly put his number in my phone. I try to tell myself that he's busy because of the holidays but Thanksgiving isn't for another week.

I should feel bad. I should feel really bad. I should feel like a bitch for pretty much ruining a a man's virtue. I should feel like a whore or a slut for offering myself like that. I fucked an engaged man.

I don't feel bad though and I probably never will. I had a great night.

The only suck ass part about it is he doesn't stay out of my head. He's in my dreams and clouds every single thought I have.

I can feel him.

His touch.

His lips.

His tongue.

His breath.

His voice.

Him.

All of him. On me. In me. Next to me. I've never wanted to see more of the guy I had a one night stand with. To be frank, I've never had a one night stand with a guy like Edward. He was smooth, sweet and didn't smell like he bathed in alcohol. We were drunk but we weren't that drunk. We were aware of what we were doing. There was a strong connection between us. I swore there was a wildfire burning beneath us. I loved it and I'm more than sure he did, too.

"Earth to Isabella Marie Swan." I snap out of my daze when Alice's hand is waved in my face.

"Did you have to use my entire name?" She gives me a look. "Sorry, what'd you say?" I ask, quickly trying to forget thoughts.

"I didn't say anything. You were staring off, again, and those men over there think you are down to fuck." She gestures to three men sitting at the table across from us. They have to be in their late forties. They wave and one of them blows a kiss at me.

Alice snorts taking a sip of her tea. I roll my eyes, "That's disgusting."

"Please, you take your clothes off for men like them every other night," she says, picking her phone up to answer a text message and puts it down when she's finished. "On a more serious note, what's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, taking a sip of my water.

"Don't play stupid with me." Her eyebrow rises. "Something is bothering you. You've been quiet and constantly dazing off into another world all day. I'm starting to feel left out."

I sigh. "I'm just tired. I've just been thinking about my dad a lot."

I don't know why I don't want to tell Alice about who I'm really thinking about. Probably to save my ass from one of her long ass lectures about how I'm twenty-two and not seventeen, sleeping around and hooking up with guys isn't what we do anymore. Ever since she and Jasper started dating she's been anti-random hook ups. It sucks being the single best friend.

"Oh, is he still refusing treatment?" I nod and she puts her hand on mine. "It'll be okay. You want to do a duet tonight?"

This puts a smile on my face. "Of course."

"Good, we need to be at The Treasure Chest in two hours. If we leave now and get there early, we can practice," she says excitedly and gathers her things.

I'm excited, but with Edward on my mind it's hard to act that way. Alice can tell something else is bothering me, but she knows not to pry. She knows I'll tell her when I want to. If I want to.

I'm actually surprised she hasn't voiced her assumptions already. She can read anyone like an open book. She's always been able to guess what someone is thinking or what someone is about to do and be correct. She has this weird sixth sense or something. She calls them premonitions. I call her a future cheater.

Alice is my best friend. She has been since we met on First Beach when we were seven. Even without her freaky future cheating, she knew me like the back of her hand. We knew _each other _like the backs of our hands. We could always tell when something was wrong with each other and when we were lying. We knew when to give each other space and when to hug the life out of each other. We hardly ever fought. If we did it was about who is the hotter guy and what not.

We were two teenage girls living an adult life. My mom left my dad and got remarried when I was eight. My dad found a friend named cocaine when I turned thirteen. He chose that over his own daughter. I took care of him more than he took care of me. Alice's parents wanted to move back to Mississippi and she didn't so they left her with her "I don't give a fuck about anything" sister. We ended up being each others parents. I was raised by Alice and she was raised by me.

We give each other lectures, ground each other, tell each other what we need but don't want to hear, comfort each other like our parents didn't do for us. It worked and it still does. We've gotten through middle school, high school and our first two years of college without a problem.

Alice is a stunning girl. Short, black hair. Straight, white teeth. Big grey eyes. Nice ass and good size tits. Overall her body is hot. In high school, girls envied her because she didn't need the fake self tanners and clown make up to make her look pretty. Neither of us did. We had a natural beauty if I do say so myself.

If you had asked us if we thought we'd be strippers when we turned twenty, we would have said no. It was never an option until it was brought up to us at a party. We were dancing and a man by the name of Laurent asked us if we ever thought about dancing for money. He didn't get to the "you have to take your clothes off" part until we had already agreed. It was a club in Seattle, not too far from our apartment and school.

Laurent was able to work around our classes and our other jobs. Stripping paid very well, especially when the Seattle Seahawks football team came in. Alice and I got handed a thousand dollars cash just for serving them. We weren't complaining until Laurent tried to cop a feel then treated us like dirt. We finished our first two years of college, packed our shit and moved to Port Angeles.

That was the end of stripping until we saw a dancers wanted sign outside of the abandoned building that is now _The Treasure Chest. _Jasper was and is a nice guy, a gentleman from the south who loves to make drinks and watch girls shake their asses-mostly Alice's. He's head over heels for that woman and she's the same about him. He brings out the sweet, "I want a fairytale" girl in her and she brings out the caring, romantic in him. That is until one of them is rubbed the wrong way, literally. Jasper has gotten into many bar fights because some guy decided he would try to touch Alice's ass instead of mine or whistle at her instead of me. Just a couple of weeks ago he almost killed a guy for touching her hips when she was giving him a lap dance. Now Jasper has to go into another room when she's performing.

"That's it." Alice slaps down her mascara and turns her body so she's facing me. "I'm sick of acting like nothing is wrong with you. Spill now or I will beat it out of you."

She would have been intimidating if she hadn't cracked a smile at the end. I roll my eyes and continue with my make up. Her hand touches my wrist, interrupting me. She's looking at me with deep eyes and I can tell she's about to give me one of those "you can talk to me because I'm here for you" speeches.

"Alice, I'm fine," I say honestly. I am fine, still unsure how to feel about last week but I'm fine.

"So tell me what's on your mind. Please. It's killing me," she begs.

I roll my eyes, "I hooked up with someone last week."

Her eyes widen. "Are you pregnant?"

"No Alice," I shout and shake my head at the idea of being pregnant with Edward's child. "We used protection."

"So why is hooking up with someone so bad? You're single. Free, no strings attached sex is good sometimes." Her words surprise me but she gives me a pointed look then says, "But not all the time." That's better.

I only shrug because she has no idea how bad it actually is. I had a one night stand with an engaged man and he's all I can think about now. It wasn't free and strings have definitely attached.

"Well did you give him your number?" I nod. Unless he deleted it along with my message. "Did he call?" I shake my head. I really don't why I expected him to.

"I feel like I'm in high school again. Like I had a bad date or something." I sigh, leaning back in my chair.

"Except, this time you hooked up and had some problems unhooking yourself." I nod because she's right and I didn't even tell her that it wasn't just sex. She opens her arms to me and we hug. "Well, he was probably a douche of a guy anyways."

Edward? Far from it. Like I explained before, he handled me with care-did everything I demanded him to. I don't think I've ever came that hard since freshmen year in college.

"Do you remember him?" she asks.

I shake my head, lying. I'm in the middle of trying to forget this lost cause.

"Good, because we're going to find you someone better tonight!" she screams excitedly throwing her arms up. "C'mon, let's finish getting ready."

...

The crowd loves mine and Alice's duet. We are handed more tips than we've ever had. They usually enjoy a little girl on girl action.

I am also paid for working a private party-some rich guys from Olympia. They're tips alone give me two thousand dollars. I tell them to come back soon.

Edward is in my mind while I dance. I picture him sitting in the middle, eyes burning into my skin as he watches me. I think I perform better because of that.

Since Alice is spending time with Jasper for the day, I have nothing to do. Class is cancelled because our Professor is on vacation early and I don't have a day job. I have a tank full of gas in my silver Mazda 6, but nowhere to go. I decide to take a drive anyway and unconsciously end up in La Push.

My dad's orange, Chevy pickup is in the parking lot when I get there. A red Volkswagen Rabbit is next to it. I don't know who's car it is nor do I care. I just hoped I wouldn't walk in on him dealing, selling or using.

"Dad, are you home?" I call before walking all the way in the house.

"In the bathroom," he yells back. "I'll be out in a second."

I hear the toilet flush and the sink turn on. I relax more since I know he's just using the bathroom and not using his drug of choice.

I hang up my jacket and walk into the living room. There's a game on, but I couldn't tell you who's playing. The room smells like smoke and alcohol. It's dirty. There's clothes, blankets, used plates, and cups on the floor. I can't imagine what the rest of his house looks like.

"Hey Bella." The voice startles me. I quickly turn around and bump into the wall. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's not big deal, Jacob. How are you?"

He shrugs. "I've been better."

I nod, understanding.

Jacob Black. Son of Billy Black and the deceased, Sarah Black. Younger brother of Rachel and Rebecca Black. My ex-boyfriend from the second grade.

I haven't seen him in a while. After we graduated and moved, we lost touch. He doesn't come to La Push as often since there is no law keeping him here. He'd rather not be around the drugs and stuff.

"How's your dad?" I ask after hugging his muscle-toned body.

"I was just about to ask Charlie." He gestures to my father's figure emerging from the bathroom.

He looks skinnier from when I last saw him a week ago. He needs a haircut and to shave his mustache. His eyes are dark and purple underneath from lack of sleep.

"Hey Daddy," I walk to where he's standing and hug him. He kisses my cheek.

"Your dad went to the store to get us some groceries."

Billy and Charlie moved in together when Alice and I moved out. They became friends through Jake and me. As life went on, they found they had a lot in common. No wife, the will to drown themselves in their pity and undying love for cocaine.

I blame Billy for Charlie's addiction. He's the one who introduced it to him. Charlie didn't want to feel anything and that's exactly what the coke allowed him to do. Not feel.

It's hard talking to him sometimes without crying. I miss the dad I had from age one to thirteen. I strive to hold onto those memories of him.

"When do you think he'll be back?" Charlie shrugs absentmindedly and walks into the kitchen.

He's high. I roll my eyes with a deep sigh and follow him. Jacob follows me. We watch as the cocaine affects him. He begins to clean everything he can get his hands on. When he stops finally I can almost hear his heartbeat from across the room. It worries me.

"Dad, you should probably calm down a little." I step towards him.

He backs away, shaking his head. "Don't get close to me, Renee."

I know he's hallucinating, but hearing him call me by my mother's name gets to me. Besides my hair and eye color, I look like her. It took him forever to look at me after my mom left.

He still loved my mom when she left us and he still loved her when he found out she found someone else. Not even the cocaine could cover that up.

"Holy shit, Charlie! Your nose!" Jacob's sudden outbreak causes me to forget about the past and focus on the blood dripping from Charlie's nose.

Charlie touches his nose and gets blood all over his hand. He tries to get it off by wiping it on his shirt, but it only makes it worse.

Jacob steps forward, but I stop him. "I got him."

I take Charlie to the bathroom to wash his face and hands off. I let him call me Renee and whatever other name comes out of his mouth. While he takes a shower I get him a clean pair of sweats and flannel. I put him in his bed and wait until he falls asleep before leaving his room.

"Let's go for a walk," I suggest to Jacob when I walk back into the living room. He looks nervous.

He nods and I lead him to the trail behind the house which leads to First Beach. When we get to the sand, we take our shoes off and roll our jeans up.

"How much do you visit your dad and Charlie?" I ask Jacob as we walk.

"This is my first time in long time." He sounds disappointed in himself. "I come down some holidays and we talk on the phone. I never have the balls to come down here in fear that I see something like that. I'm the only one who keeps in touch with him now."

"You should be proud." I try to encourage him. "I take it that's the first time you've seen something like that." He nods. I scoff. "That's not even the worst of it."

"I don't know how you do it."

I shrug. "It's not easy. Especially since I'm older now and live in a different city. I have a fear that one day I'll get a call saying he's been arrested or dead."

"Well I admire you for it."

I smile. "Thanks."

"We should hang out more, Bella," he says putting his hands in his pockets. "You know, our dad's live together and we both need to visit them. I live in Seattle and you live in Port Angeles. We could carpool every now and then since it's on the way."

I nod. "Sounds like a good idea."

He smiles. He must have gained confidence or something because his next sentence is him asking me to go out with him. I feel my smile turn into a grimace unintentionally and he immediately back tracks his words.

"Not like a date, as friends."

"Good because I don't date." It's only half true. I'd date Edward. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well there's this Christmas party my job is hosting. It's formal so you'd have to dress up and stuff. It's pretty fun. There's food, drinks and music. You like to dance, right?"

"I'm a stripper. It's my job." He seems surprised. I snort, "I know how to dance without taking my clothes off."

"I wasn't judging or anything..." he rambles on about how he respects strippers and what they do. He understands. It's cute for the first thirty seconds then I'm annoyed.

"It's okay Jacob. I'll go with you to the party. As friends." I emphasize friends so he knows I'm serious.

Jacob's a cute boy, but he's not for me. In other words, he's not like Edward.

"As friends," he says, trying to hide disappointment.

"Where do you work?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Seattle Hospital. I'm a surgeon."

"Wealthy man. I like it," I joke, making him laugh.

I reach in my back pocket when my phone vibrates. I'm expecting Charlie or Alice, but I'm surprised by the name that pops up on my screen. I try to hide my girly teenage side as I open my phone. It doesn't work. I all but scream when I read it.

_Dinner soon? -E_

* * *

><p><strong>So before anyone asks, no Jacob and Bella will not be together. Jake is just there and Bella likes to have fun so she's going. Also, <strong>**I don't know when I'm going to do another Bella chapter. ****Other than that, continue to trust me. pwease?**

**Let me know what you think.**

**Follow me on twitter:**_ twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345_


	6. Chapter 5

_**_Disclaimer_: I own nothing but the plot**_

_**I have some smart readers. All I have to say!**_

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed an****d put me on their alerts. You make me very happy! Special thanks to those that are still trusting me. And special special thanks to my betas, they're awesome.**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Enjoy!_****

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

**EPOV**

It's Thanksgiving morning. Tanya is busying herself in the kitchen and I am reading the newspaper. The house is quiet besides her humming and the soft murmurs of the actors on TV. I should be helping in the kitchen, but I can't bring myself to get up.

My relationship with Tanya has been strained since the day I came home from Bella's. We fight more and I find myself spending more time at the hospital or with Emmett. She took off her engagement ring once. It was our worst fight. She threatened to call off our marriage. She was going to leave me. She started throwing her clothes in a suitcase and told me she was going to drive to Seattle to stay with her parents.

I don't know what came over me. Maybe the fact I didn't want her father bitching at me about how to treat his princess, but I got on my knees and begged for her to stay with me. I told her we could make it work. Tears and snot filled my face. I told her I needed her and couldn't live without her. She told me she wasn't going to leave, she just wanted to make sure the thought of her leaving me had the same affect it once had on me. It did, to an extent. I don't want her to leave but if she did, sooner or later I'd be okay.

"Honey, can you get the door? It's Emmett and Rose," she shouts from the kitchen when the doorbell rings. I sigh, throwing the newspaper onto the love seat and get up.

Emmett has his face pressed against the glass like a child. I can hear Rosalie yelling at him to be mature for once. He ignores her and continues to do what he's doing until I open the door.

"You're going to clean that," I say, letting them in. I say hi to Rosalie. She gives me a small smile and goes to the kitchen with Tanya. I turn back to Emmett who's shaking his head. "What did you do?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. She's been on edge ever since I told her we're going to Seattle to see mom and... _him_."

I roll my eyes and shut the door. "Anxiety can make people irritable."

"Please don't go all doctor psychologist on me right now."

"I'm manager of the emergency room, not a psychologist. I know that because you used to be the same way before you had games and you knew Carlisle would be there."

He scoffs. "That's because that douche just irritated me. I wasn't nervous."

"Right. And please stop calling him a douche. You sound like you're seventeen." He sticks his tongue out and we retreat to the living room.

By one, Tanya and Rosalie are finished in the kitchen and ready to leave. We take Emmett's truck so we have more space. I suggest that they sit in the back while Emmett and I are in the front, fearful that Emmett might do something stupid and piss Rosalie off. I'm glad I suggested that seating arrangement because as soon as the car starts Emmett becomes loud and obnoxious.

I'm not surprised. His hyperactivity is another way he deals with being anxious. While it's annoying, I'd rather him be jumping in his seat than swearing at every sign we pass. I've been there when it happens, and it's not pretty.

It's four when we finally arrive at my parents' house. Tanya is the only one to step out of the car, pulling down her short light pink, strapless dress. I don't think she's grasped the concept that this is a big step for my side of the family. She's never had family problems like I have. She wasn't adopted and her parents have stayed happily married for twenty five years. The only problem is her dad's relationship with her sisters, but that doesn't affect her.

Rosalie looks like she's about to cry and Emmett looks like he's going to shit himself. I let them know that we can leave anytime they feel uncomfortable or they just don't want to be there, especially Rosalie. Emmett jumps out the car and opens the door for Rose. She smooths her black dress out then kisses his cheek. They whisper comforting words to each other. They seemed more relaxed, but I could be wrong.

Esme is at the door as we walk up. Carlisle is nowhere in sight. There are tears in her eyes and her hand is over her heart. I laugh as she tries to unlock and open the door in one swift movement. It doesn't work but when it does, she runs. She comes to me first, hugging and thanking me for convincing Emmett to come. She only gives Tanya, who's holding the turkey she made, a small smile then turns her attention to the couple standing behind us.

The smile that brightens up her face makes my heart melt. I can't help but smile. Tanya takes my hand, hoping to share this moment with me. I don't like the way her hand feels, but I don't let go.

"Emmett," Esme says with a shaken voice. She's trying to contain herself but she loses it. "Welcome home," she cries then laughs at herself when Emmett pulls her in for a hug.

"Aw, c'mon Mommy. I didn't come here to see you cry. I came here to see you smiling and being happy like you always are."

She laughs. "These are happy tears, darling. I'm so happy to see you."

Emmett kisses her forehead and pulls away. "It feels good to be home. I'm glad you wanted us here."

"You may not be my biological child but you are my son. If it's anywhere I want you it's under my wing." Her eyes flicker to Rosalie and she smiles again. "Or with a beautiful woman that loves you just as much as I do. Hi Rosalie."

Rosalie is busy wiping tears from her own face, but smiles. "Hi , Mrs. Cullen."

Esme scoffs. "Call me Esme, sweetie. Mrs. Cullen is Carlisle's mother's name." I feel the mood shift as my father's name is mentioned. Emmett looks at me, wondering if he's here. I shrug, not knowing. Esme sighs, noticing our silent conversation. "He knows you all are here, but he took an extra shift tonight. He may or may not come home tonight."

"Why don't we go inside," I suggest, changing the subject. Everyone agrees.

The house is different. The walls are painted different colors and there's plants everywhere. There's a new TV and furniture in the living room. My black, grand piano still sits in the corner by the sliding glass door with the sun shining down on it perfectly.

Everyone crowds in the kitchen. Esme hasn't finished dinner yet and she could use a few extra hands, mine and Emmett's not included. Instead of helping, we sit on the stools and watch our ladies cook while reminiscing about our childhood. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. It feels good.

By seven, Carlisle still isn't home. Dinner is ready and we're all hungry. Once everything is set we say a quick thank you for the food and dig in.

"How is dress shopping, Tanya?" Esme asks a few minutes after we start eating.

Tanya grimaces. "It sucks. Nothing in Washington has caught my eye. Rose and I were planning to make a trip to Cali sometime soon."

My eyebrow raises. This is the first time I'm hearing about this. She gives me a look that says she'll explain later. I don't care where she goes, I'm just not a fan of being the last to know or not finding out something directly.

"Well I'm taking a trip to Italy in a couple of months for two weeks and I was wondering how you would feel coming with me so we could look at dresses. Your mother and sisters too if they want," Esme says, smiling excitedly.

Tanya's eyes widen and she claps her hands together. "I would love that and I'm sure they would, too."

"Great." Esme turns to Rosalie. "You are welcome as well Rose. I know a guy who knows a guy that needs a model for a clothing line, if you're interested."

"I'm so interested," Rose says sounding like the teenager she used to be.

The rest of dinner goes by in a blur. Carlisle still hasn't come home and we're happy about that. Everyone is much happier without him here. Emmett and I have to wash dishes to give the ladies a break. We do our best to not make a mess but I end up squirting Emmett with the sprayer because he makes a comment about Bella.

"Jesus asshole. I was only joking," he yelps, immediately taking his shirt off.

"Let's not joke about that anymore. Please."

He grabs a towel and tries to soak up the water. The idiot. "It's not like you're having wet dreams about her." I don't have a comeback and Emmett smiles, ignoring the giant wet spot. "Dude, tell me you aren't having wet dreams like a thirteen year old about a stripper like her."

I had more than a wet dream about her, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I have been striving to keep her out of my head for the last couple of weeks. I did text her, asked her if we could meet up for dinner. She didn't answer and I wasn't surprised. Now I'm hoping I never see her again. I just want to forget about it.

"Shut up, Emmett," I say, raising the sprayer again. "I'm not having wet dreams about Bella. She's out of my league and I'm engaged."

"Doesn't mean you can't think or dream about her." Doesn't mean I can't fuck her either. I sigh and Emmett laughs, "I'm kidding. I'm going to go find a shirt."

He leaves and I finish up the dishes. I make sure my head is on right before going into the living room where Esme, Tanya and Rosalie are laughing.

I'm happy they're getting along. Esme needs girl friends, even if they are younger than her. She's hardly ever goes out of the house. She'd rather sit at home and read a book than go out. She works from home, unlike Carlisle. She's able to draw and write out ideas from her chair. It's why she takes trips to Italy so often.

"Edward." Tanya laughs, scooting over so I can sit next to her. "Your mom was just telling us about the time you and Emmett took your diapers off in Wal-mart."

I snort."We were like two, right?" Esme nods. "Good times."

Emmett joins us moments later and we continue to share memories. After a while we decide to play charades. Guys against girls. Emmett is in the middle of describing a four word movie title when we hear the garage open.

The room goes silent and I swear the temperature goes from warm to freezing. The air becomes thick with tension and everyone's smiles fall. Rosalie looks at Emmett for those comforting words from earlier. We all brace ourselves for the worst as we hear the door open. Emmett stands tall, hands in his jean pockets and rocks back on his heels.

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise," Carlisle slurs. I can smell the liquor from where I'm seated. Esme's eyes widen and her hand goes over her heart, this time because she's hurt. "Wife. Daughter in law. Son. Rosebud. Mechanic." He looks at Emmett with disgust.

Emmett's fist are balled up. A wicked smile plays on Carlisle's face. He's challenging Emmett and with all the built up anger from the past years, Emmett is accepting.

"I think we better leave," Rosalie suggests, hinting that she's uncomfortable.

"I think you better stay, Rosie." Carlisle puts his keys in the bowl and takes his jacket off.

"Dad."

"Honey." Esme and I say at the same time. I let Esme continue. "It's late. You should go to bed."

"I just wanted to ask our... son, how his auto shop business is going."

"Perfectly fine, no thanks to you," Emmett snaps. Rosalie gets up from her seat and pulls her husband outside before it can get any more heated than it already is. Tanya leaves with them, finally understanding the situation.

"Is this what you wanted!" Esme screams. "It's Thanksgiving, Carlisle. These are your sons. Your family. How can you act this way?"

Carlisle shrugs and goes upstairs. Esme follows him after telling me to not leave. I listen to them as they scream at each other. I want to go up there when I hear a glass break and a slap, but I don't. I find myself covering my ears like I once did when I was sixteen and they were arguing about Emmett's scholarship.

Ten minutes later Esme comes back down, hand close to her chest and eyes red.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, standing up.

She nods. "He's asleep. I'm so sorry." I shrug. My eyes are on her wrist. "Don't worry. I threw the hit, not him. I think I strained something though. Can you wrap it up?"

I only nod and we walk to the bathroom. As I wrap her hand, I tell her to ice it and not put that much pressure on it.

"Thanks, sweetie." She kisses my cheek.

"Mom, how long has he been drinking like that?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Since you graduated."

"Has he ever..." I can't find the words to ask her if he's hurt her in anyway-hit her or forced himself on her.

She shakes her head no, understanding. "No, never. He's quite the peaceful drunk. I think seeing Emmett made him a little too excited."

"Please don't make excuses for him, Mom." I scowl. "He can get fired, you know."

She takes a breath and slowly stretches out her hand, but cringes when it hurts. "Yes I know. We've talked about it. I've told him he needs to be a man and a father, come to terms that if he keeps doing this then we won't be a family."

The thought of Esme leaving Carlisle isn't surprising. I wouldn't blame her if she felt like a bug under his magnify glass.

"You have nothing to worry about." She runs her fingers through my hair. I give her my best smile.

She really is a beautiful woman in a messed up situation. Where I stand in all of this is nothing compared to the place she stands.

"Am I going to see you at this?" She asks as we reach the front door. In her hand is an invitation to the Christmas party Seattle Hospital holds every year. "We're table fifty four. We saved you two seats. We'll be sitting with a man named Jacob Black and whoever he decides to escort."

I shrug. "More than likely. You know Tanya loves those things." She nods. She hopes to see me there. These kinds of parties are not her favorites. I usually make them better for her. "Thanks for offering a trip to her and Rosalie."

"No problem. Trust me, I know what it's like looking for _the _dress and she's not going to find it anywhere in Washington."

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Tell Emmett I love him and I'm glad they came." I nod and step into the dark night.

Everyone is already inside Emmett's truck, buckled in and waiting. With the little bit of light from the lamp post, can see Tanya in the back holding Rosalie. Emmett looks pissed off as he turns the car and lights on. I block the lights with my arm and continue to make my way to the car.

"Is everything okay?" Tanya asks.

I nod. "Everything's been taken care of," I tell them, then look at Emmett. "Mom says she loves you."

His nose flares and he puts the truck in reverse. "Love her, too."

...

Tanya decides at the last minute she wants to go to the Christmas party. I am all for not attending, but once she finds out a live jazz band will be there, just like our first date, she gets excited and runs upstairs to find her best dress.

I haven't talked to Emmett since Thanksgiving, almost a month of go. Tanya has talked to Rosalie though, she says that Emmett is doing fine and it'll probably be a while before they go to Seattle again. Rosalie still plans to go to Italy with everyone.

"I don't think we should stay the entire time, I tell Tanya has I help her out of my black Volvo. She smooths out her long, teal dress and covers herself with her cream fake fur sweater. We're not matching. I refused to wear teal or cream and settled for silver. She didn't feel like arguing because she knew I wasn't going to change my mind.

"Good," she says, fixing my collar. "There's some things I want to do to you."

I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. She's been dying, practically begging for me to make love to her. Every time it comes up I'm not in the mood or I just don't feel like it. We do the petty foreplay shit. I stick my hand down her panties and she puts her mouth on me. Not fair, but neither of us care.

"As long as the sexual chemistry is there," she once said, "our marriage will last a lifetime."

I call bullshit.

We hurry inside before the December air can freeze our legs off. We let the doorman take our jackets and walk hand in hand into the ballroom. The jazz band is already playing. Tanya snaps her fingers and starts to feel the music while I look for my parents' table.

It's in the corner, farthest from the music and closest to the bar. I assume Carlisle picked the location. Jacob Black and Carlisle are talking while Esme is making small talk with who I guess Jacob's escorting. When she spots me she smiles and points to me, showing me to whoever she's making friends with.

I pull Tanya to the table eagerly so we can get out of the way of everyone. My face falls when I see who is sitting at our table. I stop abruptly causing Tanya to scream out and pull on me to stop her from falling. All eyes are on me, but _hers_ are the ones I'm looking at. She smiles, eyebrow raised and amused.

Fuck.

"Edward, we need to take our seats," Tanya says, now pulling me to the table. It takes everything in me not to run away, screaming like a girl.

"Are you okay?" Esme asks. I only nod. She doesn't believe me.

"Hello son," Carlisle says extending his hand. I shoot daggers at him for ruining Thanksgiving for Esme but shake it anyways. "This is my son, Edward and his wife, Tanya." He tells Jacob. "This is Jacob Black, we work together."

I shake Jacob's hand and tell him how nice it is to meet him. "Hope my father isn't too much of a hassle."

"Not at all." He laughs then turns to his escort. "This is Isabella Swan, family friend for a long time and my escort of the night."

She laughs. It's fake. She doesn't really want to be here with him. "Nice to meet you." Her hand is extended and I can only look at it, knowing what kind of sensation we'll get if we touch. Tanya takes it instead. I feel dizzy as Tanya introduces herself and they compliment each other's dresses.

"Edward, are you sure you're okay? You're looking a little pale and green," Esme asks again.

I nod. "Fine."

This is going to be a long night.

* * *

><p><strong>And that it will be. I'll update soon :*<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345


	7. Chapter 6

_**_Disclaimer_: I own nothing but the plot**_

**My brain wouldn't let me continue working on the chapter 8 until I posted chapter 6 and since chapter 8 is really important, I'm posting. My brain loves you more than it loves me. I love you all though.**

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed an****d put me on their alerts. You make me very happy! Special thanks to those that are still trusting me. And special special thanks to my betas, they're awesome.**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Enjoy!_****

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

**EPOV**

Carlisle is gone, mingling with his friends from work. Jacob gave up trying to make small talk with me a while ago and decided to go to the bar. I'm stuck with three women who have the power to kill me.

Remember when I said that it's good for Esme to have girlfriends since she barely gets out of the house? Yeah, I take that back. Right now I wouldn't mind if she was at home, hair up, make up off with a book in her hand.

It's sounds selfish, I know, but when your mother is becoming friends with a woman you slept with behind your fiance's back, it doesn't feel too great. It feels horrible. Especially when the woman you slept with keeps giving you a mischievous looks that says, "We have a secret and I'm not afraid to say it."

If I could strangle Bella, I would. She's acting too blunt for me and it's making me a nervous wreck. I don't know how she can sit here acting like she doesn't know me and like nothing happened. I guess we could have said we met at the bar and skipped the sleeping together part, but that's not my point. Shouldn't she be wanting to claw Tanya's eyes out or pull her hair instead of laughing and wondering how they've never met?

"So Isabella, what do you do for a living?" Esme asks.

I hold my breath as Bella answers, "I dance."

"Oh," Esme says leaning forward.

Tanya seems interested too and asks, "What kind of dance? Like ballet?"

Bella shakes her head and picks up her glass. "I'm a stripper." Tanya's face falls as Bella brings it to her lips and drinks casually. "Not my best decision, but it gets me through college since I didn't get a scholarship and I don't come from the richest family."

"Well, you do what you have to do to get through." Esme smiles. I let out a breath I was holding in and grab a glass of Champagne from the waiter that walks by our table.

Tanya's body jolts up, a smile on her face. "Idea," she says, clapping her hands together. "I was actually against the idea when Edward's brother, Emmett, brought it up but now since I've met one of you it doesn't seem like such a bad idea."

"One of me?" Bella asks taking the glass from her lips and sets it on the table. Tanya's offended her.

"A stripper." Tanya says obviously, not seeing that she's insulted Bella. "What if you performed at mine and Edward's bachelor slash bachelorette party?"

"I'd have to talk to my boss and you'd have to set up a meeting with him so we could all talk. You know about how far the rest of the _dancers_," she stresses what she and the rest of her co-workers are," should and can go. We don't want to cause problems with other people's wives or anything like that."

"Great." Tanya pulls her phone out and slides it to Bella. "Put your work number in there and I'll call up there soon."

I drink, glaring, as I watch Bella type in her number then hands it back. She twists her long, brown hair around her hand then lets it fall over her left shoulder, covering her royal blue dress strap. She sighs and for a split second I can see her true colors. She doesn't want to be here. She's only associating herself with mom and Tanya because she has to. The smile on her face is really fake.

She nervously plays with her diamond necklace in her mouth, her mind is elsewhere. I want to know what she's hinking but I can't ask her that without having to explain myself to the two people sitting with us. I want to touch her, hold her and let her fingers run through my hair. I wouldn't mind taking off her royal blue dress either.

"You should come to our wedding!" Tanya squeals, interrupting my thoughts. I choke and almost spit my drink out, comprehending what she's said. Tanya frowns in disgust and Bella snorts causing me to glare at her.

"Son." Esme scowls.

"Honey, you just met her," I say, wiping my mouth with my napkin and ignoring Esme.

"So I can't invite her? She may not even be able to go." Tanya rolls her eyes and turns back to Bella. "Ignore him. Would you like to come?"

"When is it?" Bella asks, trying to keep from smiling. She knows very well when it is.

"August thirteenth."

"I would love to come. Just remind me." Bella winks at me when Tanya gives me a look I don't pay attention to.

The look on my face has to be priceless. How can she be doing this to me? Of all times. In front of my mother and fiance who have no clue whatsoever.

"I need some air," I say, pushing my chair back and standing up. I walk away before anyone can protest. Tanya calls after me but I don't turn to acknowledge her. I can hear Esme asks what's gotten into me. Tanya answers she doesn't know. I can almost feel Bella smiling because of her victory at her own game.

Once I'm outside I go straight to my car and get out my hidden packet of cigarettes. I lean on my car and light it. The smoke feels good in my lungs after I inhale. I lean my head back against my car door as I exhale and run my fingers through my hair.

I hear her shoes before I see her lean back against the car across from me. She extends her hand out in front of her, silently asking for a cigarette. I take out my pack and give her one, then hand her my lighter. She lights it and I watch as she inhales, exhales then crosses her arms.

"So that's your wife?" she asks. Her leg bounces. She's annoyed.

"She's my fiance, not my wife." I correct her.

"Same fucking difference," she snaps, shoving the cigarette in her mouth again. "She's pretty. Good choice," she says, sarcasm thick in her tone.

This makes me grin. "She's a keeper."

She scoffs, "Yeah if you go for the girls who shit sunshine."

I laugh. "It's okay to be happy sometimes."

"She's a high maintenance rich bitch. I beat up girls like her in high school." Her eyes roll and her arms cross.

"I love her." I try and keep my smile small as I taunt her.

She snorts. "Well, you're blinded by love."

"And you're jealous." I challenge her, eyebrow rising and arms crossing like hers. I watch as her face softens and she looks away from me, fighting a smile. Her leg bounces faster and I do a victory dance in my head because for once, I've won. "So, I'm right?"

She takes another drag of her cigarette before throwing it on the ground and stepping on it. She pushes herself off the car and steps forward, arms still crossed. She stops when we're an inch from each other and smiles all the way.

"Of course I'm fucking jealous," she says before her lips crash against mine. I welcome her by pulling her closer to me and putting my hands in her hair. She moans into my mouth and her hands wrap around my back.

I hate the feeling of her small frame pushing up on me so I flip us around and push up against her, rubbing my bulge in between her thighs. I move my lips to her neck and suck, knowingly leaving a mark like a seventeen year old boy would on his new girl friend.

Bella. My girlfriend. I could deal with that.

She pulls me back to her face by my chin. Her tongue runs over my bottom lip before she takes it between her own lips and sucks. I run my fingers from the back of her shoulders down to her hips then wrap my hands around her thighs to hook her legs around my waist. Her dress rides up to her waist and I'm holding her bare ass in my hands to keep her up.

"I swear I could fuck you right now," I tell her, taking her lip between my teeth.

"Please," she begs when I let go.

"Not enough time," I say, moving us off my car for a split second so I can open the backseat door. "But we have enough time for this."

I lay her down inside and get on my knees in front of her. Her dress stays above her hips and I spread her legs. My thumb runs over her black lace covered sex and groan as I feel how wet she is.

"Edward," she pleads in barely a whisper.

I pull her panties down to her ankles and rub my thumb in circles over her clit. I try to fight off my temptation to devour her but it doesn't work and I end up diving between her legs, causing her to cry out loudly in pleasure.

While I love the sound of her moans, she can't be too loud. I extend my arm to cover her mouth, muffling her sounds. She brings her own hand down to put on my head, guiding me where she wants my tongue.

I continue to taste her and add two fingers in her. Her head falls back as she moves her hips in a circular motion. As I pump in and out of her, hitting her g-spot, I can feel her walls clench around my fingers and I come up to watch her come undone.

Her eyes stay closed and I can feel her mouth open slightly against my hand. When I remove my hand and fingers she whimpers, licking her lips and pouting. I grab my t-shirt I find on my car floor to wipe her off. I slip her panties back up her hips and pull her dress down. Once she's sits up, she fixes her hair then holds her hand out so I can help her out of the car.

"Thank you," she says smoothing out her dress then kissing the side of my mouth. "I can't stop thinking about you." Another kiss on the other side. "I need more of you." Final kiss on the mouth. Our foreheads touch and our breaths are uneven.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one," I say, closing my eyes to concentrate on not attacking her again.

"I'll see you later then?" I nod and she turns to walk away but I grab her wrist, stopping her. Her eyes sparkle under the moonlight causing me to get lost. "What Edward?"

I blink, snapping out of my daze and remember what I was about to say. "Jacob Black. Is he your boyfriend or something? The way he looks at you. He likes you."

Bella smirks. "Why? Are you jealous?"

I bite my lip and nod. "Of course I fucking am."

"No. I've known him forever. He never got over his grade school crush though." She kisses my cheek. "You have nothing to be jealous of."

"Neither do you." I whisper, hands cupping her face. Our lips are inches apart.

"Yes I do," she says sadly, kissing my nose.

I sigh. I don't want to leave this place.

"So this dinner thing," she whispers.

"What about it?" I ask, kissing her shoulder.

"When's it happening? Let's set up a date now since we don't know when the next time we'll talk again."

"How about the second of January." I suggest.

She nods, agreeing. "There's a diner in Port Angeles. I can message you the address. Seven okay?" I nod. "Great."

And with that we go back into the building like nothing happened.

Carlisle and Jacob are back at the table. Carlisle is talking to another one of his co-workers, ignoring Jacob as he drunkenly leans on Carlisle and tries to hit on Tanya. Tanya looks relieved to see me. Esme's eyebrow is risen like she knows what happened between Bella and I, but it's really her asking what happened with me.

"Sorry about that," I apologize.

"Where'd you go?" Tanya asks, concerned.

"I went out, to smoke, get my mind off some things." Tanya frowns. "Bella came out and talked me into coming back in."

They buy it. Tanya is upset that I smoked, but I'm glad that's the only reason she's upset with me. I think she's upset that I left her vulnerable for Jacob to harass her, too. She all but jumps on me when he leans in with a kissy face.

"I think we should go home," Tanya says in an annoying voice of her then kisses my lips.

Bella looks away quickly and suggests to Jacob that it's time to go home. I want to apologize. Tell her I felt nothing just now. I want to be going home with her. I don't because Tanya is pulling me out of the ballroom and through the hallways. We stop and wait in line to get our jackets.

I jump when I feel something across my lower back, bumping into Tanya's ass.

She spins around, lust in her eyes. "Excuse you, Edward. If you wanted to do that all you had to do was ask." Her arms wrap around my neck and she kisses me.

My eyes don't close and I try to push her off of me. "Tanya you're drunk," I say even though I know she's not. It makes her get off of me.

"No I'm not," she huffs. When I don't show any signs that I'm interested in having sex with her tonight, she turns back around. "Fine." Her arms cross over her chest and she pouts like a five year old.

I roll my eyes and turn my head to the door. Bella stands beside Jacob leaning against the wall, her firery eyes burning through me. She smiles and waves with the finger that she ran across my back. She winks and takes Jacob off the wall. I watch as her figure disappears into the darkness, wishing it was me she was taking home instead.

...

"Happy New Years!" Tanya squeals when Rosalie opens the door. Rosalie squeals with her and hands her a cheesy, sparkly hat that says Happy New Years. She lets us all the way in then leads us to the balcony.

Emmett is sitting in a chair with the same cheesy, sparkly hat on his head. He waves with one hand and holds his drink in the air, a smile on his face. I walk to the chair next to him and sit down. We slap hands and he pours me a glass of whatever he's having.

"Happy New Years, my brother," he says, clinking his drink with mine before taking a sip of his own.

"Same to you." I take a sip of my drink, too.

Rosalie and Tanya take a seat in the chairs across from us. We watch as people light fireworks and talk about everything that's been going on in our lives.

Rosalie is excited about going to Italy for the model job. She's done her research on the photographer and apparently he works for a magazine. She hopes she'll be put on the front page or asked to be a full time model. Then she'd have a reason to move to Italy. By the look on Emmett's face, she's dreaming too big for him.

Emmett's auto shop is standing strong. He's planning on opening two other shops next fall in Port Angeles and Seattle. I know he's nervous about opening one in Seattle, just because he'll be close to Carlisle but he's still excited. I'm happy for him.

"What's going on in your life?" Rose asks when it's my turn.

I shrug. "Nothing much. Work and getting prepared to be a married man." I shoot Tanya a smile. She beams at the sudden affection I'm showing her. Once again I struggle not to roll my eyes.

"What about you Tanya?" Rose says.

Tanya takes a deep breath, excited to finally share her story. "I've been thinking. Emmett this is for you."

Emmett sits up and pays a little more attention. "You've been considering something with me in your thoughts. I'm flattered," he jokes, putting his hand on his chest and batting his eyelashes.

I roll my eyes, Rosalie shakes her head and Tanya giggles. "Well you know how you said that Edward should get a stripper for his bachelor party?" Emmett nods excitedly and I take another sip of my drink, already knowing what she's talking about. "What if it was a bachelor slash bachelorette party and we order strippers for all the single men then all of the girls, strippers and non strippers, would do a dance for the gentlemen?"

I think of how it would be if Tanya and Bella danced next to each other. My eyes would be on Bella while Tanya's would be on me. I'd have to give some of my attention to Tanya so she wouldn't expect anything.

Am I a sick man for not thinking it's a bad idea for them to dance in the same room?

"Potty break!" Rosalie shouts, standing up then pulling Tanya up with her. They exit into the house. Emmett stands up and gets us beers out of the cooler then sits back down.

"Man you must have fucked your girl good if she's thinking about ordering strippers. No, you must have fucked her amazing if she's thinking about dancing with them." He chuckles, opening his beer.

He hands me the bottle opener and I shake my head. "We haven't had sex since we went dress shopping." His eyes bug and his mouth opens. I grimace at how gross he looks and chug my beer. He still looks the same when I'm done. "What?" I shout, raising my hand like I'm about to hit him, but I don't because he moves.

"How the fuck are you surviving man? Do you even have a dick down there to feel the pain?"

"Yes, you want to see?" I ask sarcastically. He frowns and shakes his head. I set my beer on the table and run my hand down my face. "Can you keep a secret Em?"

He shrugs. "I guess."

"I'm serious, Emmett." I hold out my hand like a bear claw. "Brother swear."

"Damn." He realizes how serious it is and clasps his hand with mine. "Brother swear."

"I slept with someone else," I say, getting straight to the point.

"You're lying. I hope you're fucking lying." I shake my head, putting my elbows on my knees. "Holy shit. You're not lying. When? No, who? Wait, when?" I'm getting ready to answer him and he gasps, mouth opening again.

"Please tell me it was Bella." He covers his mouth when he thinks he's spoken too loudly. We both glance back to see that neither of our girls are back from the bathroom. "Was it her?" I nod. "And that night you fell asleep in your car because you were too drunk to function, you were with her?"

I nod again. "We were drunk and it just happened."

"That's bullshit and you know it. She wanted your disco stick, I saw the look on her face. I, however, didn't know you wanted her... disco lips just as bad."

I scowl at the name he made up.

"So what are you going to do?"

I shrug.

"Are you going to see her again?"

I tell him about my plans to have dinner with her tomorrow and when he asks me how that came up I have to tell him about the Christmas party. I tell him about me and Bella in the car, our jealousy and Tanya inviting her to the wedding.

"So, Tanya's met her?"

I nod.

"Which means the treasure chest is where Tanya is getting strippers from?"

I nod again.

He shakes his head. "Do you like her?"

"Who Bella?" Emmett shakes his head.

"No, your fiance."

I shrug.

"Do you like Bella?"

I nod. "You've got a problem and my advice is that you call off the wedding as soon as possible."

"I can't do that and you know it."

Tanya's family would shit bricks. I would never hear the end of it from Rosalie. I'd be the Cullen that had two girls at once.

He sighs. "You ever heard of that quote 'If you love two people, choose the second person. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't fall for the second one'?" I shake my head. "Well it's something you need to go by. It's your life right now. You answered a straight forward answer for your side ho and a not so straight forward answer for your fiance. That should tell you something."

"She's not a side ho," I say defensively.

"Okay, so your mistress." He holds his fingers up like quotations. "Either way, you need to think twice about marrying someone while you're fucking another."

"It only happened once."

He rolls his eyes. "And from what you tell me it's bound to happen again." I shake my head in disbelief. "I'm not going to tell anyone. It's not my relationship to fuck up, but as your older brother I'm going to tell you the truth."

"Well thank you for being honest."

He shrugs. "Just be careful. Sometimes _mistresses_ don't know when no means no."

I have a feeling that it's me that has the problem understanding no.

* * *

><p><strong>A little bit of back seat oral sex. No big deal. Lol.<strong>

**Now Emmett knows. Can he keep a secret? You all better hope so. I'm super excited for a chapter I haven't started writing just yet but it's in my thoughts. I'm super excited to write the ending I have planned, though I don't want to think about the end.**

**I ask you two favors:**

**1. I'm thinking about making a tumblr/blog for this story/my fanfiction. Should I? Would you look at it/follow?**

**2. There's a banner on my profile. GO LOOK.**

**Let me know what you think.**

_follow me on twitter:_** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345**


	8. Chapter 7

_**_Disclaimer_: I own nothing but the plot**_

**You all make me super excited to continue writing this! ****Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed an****d put me on their alerts. You make me very happy! Special thanks to those that are still trusting me. And special special thanks to my beta, she's awesome.**

****_Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple._****

****_Enjoy!_****

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 7<em>

**EPOV**

"Who are you going to dinner with again?" Tanya asks for what seems like the millionth time today.

I sigh, annoyed. She's out more than I am and I never question her. "I told you already. A friend."

"Yes," she says, curling her hair. "I know that. Which friend?"

"His name is Jasper," I say, pushing the sleeves up on my blue button down shirt.

Her eyebrow rises because she has no idea who Jasper is and in reality I have no idea either, but putting his name in it makes the lie I'm about to tell a lot easier.

"I wanted to surprise you," I start. "Jasper is the owner of a club with strippers. Emmett and I met him when we went to the bar and you stayed dress shopping. Anyways, we're having dinner to talk about your idea so you won't have to do it. You already have so much on your plate."

She's beaming when I finish. "Finally you show some sign that you're interested in this marriage."

"Have I not been?" I can answer that myself. No.

"Not since yesterday," she gives me a smile, she's happy and right now that's all I ask for. I'd rather not go to dinner with Bella in a bad mood because of Tanya. It usually never turns out how I need it to. Just the exact opposite.

"Well, I promise to try harder," I say then kiss her cheek. "I'll be home by eleven."

The car ride to Port Angeles feels longer than it is. I turn my radio all the way up, hoping to drown my thoughts about what I'd rather be doing to Bella than breaking things off with her. I even decide to call Emmett to keep me company.

"You're going to go in there and you're going to say these exact words," he tells me. "Listen bitch. Whatever we had is done. I'm engaged to be married in less than seven months and I can't have your bootylicious body in my thoughts all day." He laughs at the end.

"Em, this is so not funny," I say seriously. "I feel like I'm about to shit myself."

"That's gross dude," is all he says.

I roll my eyes. "You are not helping."

He sighs. "Just relax and tell her what you both need to hear. It's done and it will never happen again. I've got to go. Rose's home and she promised I could fuck her face today. See ya."

I gag at the thought and hang up. The rest of the way my thoughts are of what's really going to happen. Am I really going to have the balls to tell her that I don't want to see her again?

As soon as I pull into the parking lot and see her standing against her car, I have my answer.

No. Fuck no.

She's wearing her favorite black, ripped jeans with an off the shoulder purple shirt. It says love in black, bold letters. Black boots cover her feet and a black headband pushes her curled hair back. Her make up is natural and light. She looks gorgeous.

"Hi," I say to her when I step out of my car.

"You kept me waiting long enough." She smiles and puts her phone away.

"Sorry," I apologize, already getting lost in her beauty.

"I'm kidding, Edward. C'mon."

I let her lead the way since she's familiar with this place. We take a seat in the farthest corner in their sun room, even though there's no sun, so no one can interrupt or see us.

"It's a nice day outside," I say looking up at the sky. It is a nice day. The sun is trying to peak out a little.

"You're really going to talk about the weather?" she asks, eyebrow raised.

My lips purse and I shake my head. "Sorry."

We order our drinks and food when the waiter arrives. He seems more interested in looking down Bella's shirt. Belle smiles and asks if he wants a picture. He looks dumbfounded for second before scurrying away to put our orders in and get our drinks. He doesn't look in her direction again when he gives us our cups. I chuckle and she rolls her eyes.

"He must be new," she mutters. "So how've you been?"

"Great and you?"

"Fine." She shrugs. "How's your wifey?"

"Good I assume."

She smirks. "She tell you how I taste?" I feel my mouth fall slack. She nonchalantly picks her drink up, swirls her tongue around the straw then drinks. I gulp loudly and she winks. "Yeah, she kissed you right after you... uh... you know. So I was wondering if she told you."

I clear my throat and croak out a, "No."

She shrugs indifferently. "Oh well."

Our food comes and we eat in silence. I don't know what to say after her last comment. I hadn't even thought about Tanya kissing me after I went down on Bella... in the back of my car... at the Christmas party.

Bella wins again.

She's done eating before I am but let's me finish before she asks her question.

"Are we really going to sit here and not ask the questions we want to ask?"

I shrug.

She sighs and pushes her plate off to the side. "Fine. I'll go first."

"Okay," I say, becoming tense as I wait for her to ask her question.

"What's your favorite color?" She giggles, trying to break the ice.

I play along. "Blue. Yours?"

"Green. No blue. No purple." She giggles again then shrugs. "It changes."

I smile. "I see."

"Okay. Okay. Serious questions now. Why didn't you just say you knew me at the party?"

I shrug. "I was waiting for you to rat us out. Are you really going to dance at my bachelor slash bachelorette party?"

She giggles. "I gave her a false number. It's some really awful club. She won't like it so unless she figures it out then no I won't."

I can breathe a little.

"Do you like me?"

I hadn't expected that.

"Uh..." my mouth forms to explain.

She rolls her eyes and holds her fingers up. "The truth. I don't like sugar coating anything. So we tell the truth. Deal?"

I nod.

"Good. Now, do you like me?"

I'm hesitant to answer but I do by nodding.

"Do you want me?"

I nod again and watch as a smile breaks out on her face. She smiles because she likes to feel wanted and powerful. She's both at the same time and feeling more confident than ever. Two can play at this game.

"Do you like me?"

Her smile falters a little but she nods.

"Do you want me?"

She nods again and crosses her arms so she can lean up on them. "Do you want me more than you want Tanya?"

She shoots me. Not literally but the way she's looking at me and the way she bites her lip makes me feel like a bullet is puncturing my chest.

"I know," she says, leaning back with a cocky grin on her face. "Fiance is just a label."

"Yes, but it's my label. She's supposed to be my wife in seven months. We can't keep doing this. It has to end now." I try to be assertive.

It doesn't work. She snorts and takes another sip of her drink.

"You don't mean it. You're saying it because it's what's right for everyone else. Not what's right for you." She sees right through me.

"I love Tanya."

"I didn't say you didn't, but it doesn't matter how much you love her. When you're on your honeymoon and you're in her, I'll be in your head."

And Bella wins again.

Maybe that's the reason I haven't been interested in Tanya sexually. Calling out Bella's name instead of hers would be tragic and take a lot of explaining to do.

"Look, if you like me, you like me. You need to decide now if you want to continue you this." She points between the two of us. "I can keep a secret."

In my head I weigh the pros and cons of continuing things with her. It won't end well. Everyone will find out one day. Hopefully that one day will be when I have the balls to end things with Tanya and face my family, Tanya's family and everyone else.

I inhale deeply. "Fine," I say, exhaling.

She leans across our table far enough so our lips can touch. She sweeps her tongue across my bottom lip before pulling away. "Good choice."

Her phone rings and she answers it while I sit there, chewing on my lip and thinking about what I just did.

"Just calm down, Dad." Her voice sounds a little panicked. "I'll be there soon. Just sit in the bathroom. They can't get you there. It'll be okay." She hangs up the phone and stands up.

"Everything okay?" I look up at her.

She shakes her head. "No. My dad, he's an addict. I'll save that story for later. He's hallucinating and I need to get to him before he does something bad."

I nod, understanding. I stand up next to her then hug and kiss her. "Go ahead. Call me soon."

She nods then makes her way out of the building. I call the waiter back to get the check so I can pay.

"That your girl?" he asks, handing me my VISA card back.

"Something like that." It seems like the right answer.

I leave him a tip and leave also, thanking the other workers for their service on the way out. As soon as I start my car I realize that my plan hadn't worked.

Mission end things with Bella. Failed.

...

It's been two weeks since Bella and I had dinner. I'm worried. I can admit that much. I want to know what's going on and if everything's okay. Just to make sure. I can worry right? I figured she'd call if she needed something.

I decided to test Bella's theory. It was wrong. Tanya had wanted to have sex so many times and the one time I want to do it, is to see if Bella will really be in my thoughts the entire time.

She was. I kept my eyes open the entire time. Every time I shut them I would see Bella and cum all over Tanya's stomach.

It made things better between us though. She was happier and less tense. I was more lenient towards the annoying antics she did. All in all, it made our home easier to be in.

I agreed to go grocery shopping with her. She wanted to make spaghetti. I'd been in the hospital or the house for the last week and I wanted to get out into the world plus I hadn't spent time with Tanya in a while.

"Edward is that you?" I hear a familiar, chipper voice behind me and Tanya.

I turn around with a smile and wave. "Hi, Alice."

I squeeze Tanya's hand before letting go to hug Alice. Behind her is a tall, blond, muscular male who I assume is Jasper. He stands awkwardly, shy. I think about how Emmett told about him almost fighting a guy for touching his girl and quickly pull away.

"Oh," she says, pulling Jasper forward. "This is my boyfriend, Jasper. And she must be your fiance."

I nod, looking back at Tanya and gesturing for her to come forward. She does and slips her hands with mine. "Tanya this is Alice and Jasper."

"Oh, Jasper. The guy you had lunch with."

I feel my eyes widen as Jasper's face contorts in a confused expression. I mouth the words "cover me" and turn my head before Tanya can see. Alice's eyebrow rises and her arms cross, but says nothing.

"Oh, I am so excited to be performing with your strippers. Are you one of them Alice?" Tanya continues excitedly. She hasn't even noticed the strange looks she's receiving from Jasper and the "I'm about to slap you" look from Alice.

"One of them?" Alice asks. Tanya's offended her just like she offended Bella at the Christmas party.

Yeah, they're definitely best friends.

"Uh, honey." I put my hand over Tanya's mouth gently to keep her from speaking again. By her own expression, she's not very happy about it. "Can you go find that really good bread I like? Please." I peel my hand off her lips slowly and wipe the remains of her lipstick on my jeans.

"Fine." She huffs and rolls her eyes, wiping the corner of her lips. She smiles at Alice and Jasper who still have the same looks on their face. "Nice to meet you both, finally. Can't wait to work with you. See you soon."

I watch Tanya exit the aisle and turn the corner before spinning back around to face Alice and Jasper. Alice looks pissed and Jasper still looks confused.

"You want to tell me what that was about?" Alice breaks the silence.

"Look I can explain. I had dinner with someone I didn't want Tanya to know about. I used Jasper's name because I didn't think you would ever have to meet her. I mean, Bella said that she used a false number and..." My words drift off when I realize what I just said.

"Bella?" Jasper questions.

I nod slowly and watch as Alice pieces a puzzle she's been trying to figure out for a long time together.

"Fuck Edward. You're the guy she's been seeing?"

I nod.

"You're the one night stand guy she's hooked on?"

I nod.

"You're the guy she went to dinner with?"

I nod.

"You're the guy that's got her head so far up in the clouds?"

I shrug. I'm not sure about that. "Where has she been?" I ask.

"With her dad," she answers. "He's been sick."

"I know about his addiction."

Her eyes widen. "You do?"

I nod.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Jasper asks, raising his hands up. "Who are you and why did you use my name to lie to your fiance?"

Taking a deep breath I begin to explain but I can't. "Not here. Can we possibly meet somewhere later?"

Alice nods and pulls out a piece of paper. "This is my sister's house address. She lives in Forks. We're visiting her and I'm sure she wouldn't mind you being over either. Be there at six sharp or I'm coming to find you and it won't be pretty. Call me if you get lost."

Jasper rolls his eyes. "You don't have to threaten the man. I'm sure he'll be there. Won't you?"

I may be taller than Jasper but since I know he practically killed a guy not too long ago, he's pretty intimidating.

I nod. "I promise."

Alice's nose flares and she nods before walk away. Jasper follows her after giving me a grin that says he feels sorry for me. Tanya comes back around with the bread. We check out and I tell her my plans to go to Alice's mom's house. She wants to come, she doesn't trust them because of the tattoos and piercings they have, but I insist she stay home and make the spaghetti for dinner. She agrees, saying she has work to do anyways.

Twenty minutes to six I'm dropping her off at her house. I kiss her lips and smack her ass for dramatics as she hops out. She smiles and I wink at her. She then all but skips into our house, blowing a kiss at me before stepping all the way in.

Alice's sister's house isn't far and it's fairly easy to find. It takes me exactly fifteen minutes to get there. Alice opens the door before I get to the steps. Jasper isn't too far behind her telling her to take a chill pill so she doesn't scare me away.

"Welcome to my sister's home. Feel free to ask for anything or whatever." As she says this she's pulling me into the living room.

The house is nice. Small but nice.

Before I can take any of my other surroundings in Alice is in my face begging for me to talk.

"Spill," she says in a serious tone. It's quite frightening.

"Okay," I start.

I tell them about the little things she did to me when I first met her at The Treasure Chest. Alice says she saw it happen but didn't think of it as anything, she told Bella not to get involved. Next, I tell them what happened in the bar and about going back to her house. I don't give them all the details but I think they get it.

"You are definitely the reason she is acting weird." Alice shakes her head and Jasper rubs her back.

I don't know what to say so I continue to tell them about the Christmas party and hint to them what happened. They understand. I tell them about dinner. I tell her each word she said. I explain how lying to Tanya included Jasper's name in it. He wasn't too happy about it, but said nothing.

"So, yeah. That's about it." I finish.

"She's such a fucking idiot," Alice cries into her hands. "I tell her all the time that sleeping around with guys isn't good for her, especially not for her."

The pit of my stomach drops when she says that. There's obviously a lot of things I don't know about Bella but something about Alice's words make me feel like there's a lot more than just her sudden change of colors I need to worry about.

"Ali, I'm sure we have nothing to worry about. Bella's a big girl now. She can handle whatever mess she gets herself in." He tries to reassure her.

It doesn't work. She continues to cry. "You know what happened with Royce. It took her so long to get over that and be herself again." She wipes her eyes then turns to me. "You need to break things off with her."

* * *

><p><strong>Now Alice and Jasper know. What will happen next? I KNOW. teheee<strong>

**Next chapter you hopefully make you understand a little why Edward has a hard time breaking things off with Tanya.**

**Until then let me know what you think. I haven't decided about making a tumblr yet, but I'll let you know when I do.**

_follow me on twitter:_ twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345


	9. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. At the moment I am very happy about that.**_

**I cannot tell you how excited I am to keep going with this story. I can't even tell you. It makes me really happy that you all like it**

**Hopefully this chapter will kind of make you understand why Edward is so hesitant to just walk away from Tanya and not so hesitant to walk away from Bella.**

_**Thanks to everyone who reads and put me on their alerts. I happy dance when I see it (:**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

**EPOV**

"I tried that," I explain.

"You didn't try hard enough," Alice snaps, standing up and swiping tears from her face. "You both should have made the decision like the last four months never happened. You two never met and you haven't been messing around."

I don't say anything because she's right. I didn't try hard enough. In fact, I didn't try at all. Bella asked me to choose and I chose, not thinking about anyone's feelings but my own. She said she wouldn't mind keeping the secret which means she doesn't care that Tanya is still my fiance, right?

Damnit.

I put my hands on my head and tug my hair. "I don't know what to do."

"Try again."

I groan frustrated. "It won't work."

"The hell it won't," she shouts, charging at me.

I don't know whether I should run or stand there and take what's about to come to me. I don't have to decide between either because Jasper grabs her by the waist and turns her around into him. She cries into his shoulder and he whispers sweet words to calm her down. She nods at the last thing he tells her then leaves without another word.

He watches her until she's in the kitchen then turns back to me. He takes a seat on the couch and pats the empty seat next to him. "Sit please."

I nod because I don't know if I should say anything after what just happened.

He sighs. "Sorry. She gets..." he thinks of a word, "angry when it comes to Bella making decisions that end with her getting her heartbroken. They're each other's life support and Alice doesn't want to see anything like she saw with Royce."

I nod, rubbing my sweating palms up and down on my knees. "Do you mind if I ask what happened with this Royce guy?"

He looks to where Alice just went then back. He scratches the back of his neck. "It's not my story to tell but it'll make you understand why Alice is reacting like she is."

I nod and watch as his eyebrow furrows in thought.

"I met Bella and Alice when they were twenty. I was twenty three and had just opened my bar. I was looking for dancers. Alice and Bella were perfect. They brought the kind of attention needed. They're the reason it's still standing.

"We get people from all over. NFL team members, locals, tourists and bachelor parties. Every once in a while we get the sweet talking men who say any and everything to swoon my ladies. It only worked once and that was with Bella."

I nod, letting him know that I'm following what he's saying.

He continues. "It wasn't a nice relationship. I knew it wouldn't be when I first saw them exchange numbers. The way they were with each other just wasn't right. He moved, she moved. He was pissed off, she was pissed off. He broke up with her and she sat in her room like a zombie until they made up. Those days were the worst." He shakes his head, trying to get the images out.

"One day she came into work. A bruise on her cheek, poorly covered with make up. There was hand prints around her wrist and she looked scared shitless. She tried to say she ran into a door." He snorts. "She's clumsy, but no damn door did that to her cheek."

I feel anger inside me as I think of someone hitting Bella. Alice can't think I would do something like that. I may not have been in my right mind when I made the decision to be with two women at once, but I would never hit a woman. Esme would kill me, then revive me so she could kill me again.

"Alice, many of the other girls at the bar and I tried to get her to leave him, but she wouldn't. I talked to him, more like threatened, if he ever physically hurt her again I would kill him with my bare hands. He's seen me fight multiple times and knew I wasn't bluffing. He was a big guy, but I could have taken him. I would have taken him for Bella.

"He never physically hurt her again-just mentally and emotionally. I met her as happy, bubbly Isabella Swan and in the six months she was with Royce she became depressed, unstable Bella."

I'm shocked when I hear that all of that happened in a mist of six months. Bella and I have known each other for four months and been "messing around." What if she was becoming attached to me? What if I unintentionally hurt her? What if I made her become the depressed, unstable Bella Jasper and Alice are afraid of?

"Will you tell me something?"

I nod.

"In the end, who do you plan on leaving? Bella or Tanya?"

That's what they were afraid of. Not me hitting Bella or taking advantage of her attachment. They were afraid of me leaving her.

In all honesty, I hadn't thought about it. Not once had the idea of me leaving Tanya for Bella or staying with Tanya instead of Bella had come up. No one ever said anything about it until now.

I shrug my shoulders. "I never thought about it."

"Obviously," he grumbles and rolls his eyes. "You should probably start thinking about it before it gets too serious."

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say this Royce guy left Bella?"

He nods. "The way she reacted to that was nothing like she acted when they broke up. He just left. No explanation. No call. No text message. Just a note that told her to not go looking for him. She wouldn't eat, sleep or speak. Her performances were weak so I gave her some time off. Alice stayed with her until we moved her to her father's home. We were kind of reluctant moving her in with a cocaine addict but we had to."

"Her father's a cocaine addict?" I ask.

"You didn't know that?"

I shake my head no. "She told me he's an addict, not what he's addicted to."

"Gotcha. Well yes, he's a cocaine addict and with the state she was in we thought she was going to become one, too. Something inside her clicked one day though. She came back to Port Angeles and acted as nothing ever happened."

It sounds like Bella to act like nothing happened.

"Look, I don't plan on hurting Bella."

"You're going to some day. She's going to feel like she has to compete with Tanya. It won't end pretty. Someone's going to get hurt. It's up to you to decide who and how soon."

"Then I'll leave Tanya."

As soon as the words leave my mouth I feel dirty. I just said I would leave my fiance I've been with for four years for another woman I've only known for four months, to a man I met today.

"I can't tell if you're bullshitting or if you're serious," he says defeated. "But I hope you're serious."

I only shrug. I don't want to say anything I don't know if I can live up to.

"I have some advice though." He clears his throat and continues. "Be careful with her. She's a manipulative one. I've seen it happen, with Royce and many others. All it took was one look. And still to this day all it takes is one look from her and guys are hooked.

"I think I've experienced that first hand." I chuckle awkwardly. It's not funny. "The way she looks at me, touches me and makes me feel. It's like nothing I've ever felt before-from anyone."

He looks at me with his eyebrow raised, silently asking me if I'm serious. I nod and he runs his hand over his mouth. "Well shit. That changes things."

Damnit.

"How?" I ask, nervous to hear his answer.

"Do you worry about her when she's away?"

I nod. I am now.

"Do you feel like there's a fire burning when you touch?"

I nod.

"When someone asks you a question using 'her' instead of the person's name, do you automatically think of Bella?"

I nod, thinking of Emmett's and my conversation. He asked me if I liked her. I thought he meant Bella when he actually meant Tanya.

"Then what you're feeling isn't her manipulative skills or lust. It's love. Intense, forbidden love."

I shake my head in disbelief. I couldn't possibly love Bella already. I couldn't love Bella at all. I'm not supposed to. I've only known her for four months. It took me a year before I said I love you to Tanya, then again, my relationship with Bella is nothing like my relationship with Tanya.

"Why would you think that?"

"You mean how do I know that?" He smirks. "I was in a similar situation before Alice and I started dating.

"Really?" I ask. Jasper is tough guy, but he doesn't look like he would cheat on anyone.

He nods. "Her name was Maria. Hispanic, gorgeous legs and an attitude that made you think twice about what you said. We started dating our freshmen year of college. We liked each other a lot and we were happy until I chose to major in business. Between studying and working there wasn't enough time for us. It irritated her."

I scoff, understanding.

"We made it through college though. I got my bachelor's and moved to Port Angeles to work. When my boss wasn't doing what I needed him to do, I decided I would open my own gentleman's club. That's how I met Alice and Bella. They looked younger than twenty-one, especially Alice. It took them forever to convince me that they weren't in the seventh grade." He chuckles.

"Yeah, Alice is pretty short." I join in.

"Doesn't mean she won't blow you away though," he says, becoming serious again. "The way she looked at me when she auditioned was intriguing. Her eyes are so beautiful, I get lost every time I look in them."

I listen as he describes the way he feels about Alice. It isn't much different to how I feel about Bella and it scares the shit out of me.

Let's say I do love Bella. Can I promise that I can just up and leave Tanya? Will I grow the balls to leave Tanya?

I would have to.

But the real question is can I see myself with Bella forever and not feel guilty about? Could I love her? Do I love her?

Yes.

Damnit.

"All it took was one accidental touch and she had me. One accidental kiss and I was giving up my two year relationship with Maria to be with Alice. One not so accidental night of very wonderful sex and I was ready to beat the living shit out of anything or anyone who spoke, touched or hurt her. I'm going to make her my wife one day," he says proudly rubbing his hands together then mutters, "as soon as I can convince her to stop stripping and go back to school."

Alice comes back in with a tray in her hands before I can say anything else.

"I made cookies and muffins," she says, setting the tray down on the coffee table in front of me and Jasper. She points to each muffin as she speaks, "There's blueberry, strawberry and chocolate chip. I also have water, milk and juice if you want."

I give her one of the strangest looks. "Thanks."

Jasper just chuckles and pulls her into his lap while taking a blueberry muffin. "She bakes when she's upset. Calms her down. Keeps everything undamaged and no one's feelings get hurt. Stomachs are filled and everyone's happy."

I nod and take a bite of a cookie. "It's delicious."

Her face brightens. "Glad you like them. Are you staying for dinner?"

She goes to get up and I shake my head. She sits back down on Jasper's lap and he rubs small circles on her arms.

"I should get going anyway. Thank you both. Talking to you was really helpful," I tell Jasper.

"No problem. Just remember everything I said."

I nod, agreeing to remember.

"Wait," Alice says, shoving the rest of her cookie in her mouth and swallowing. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to come off that way. It just happens."

Her cheeks turn pink and I give her an encouraging smile. "It's okay, Alice. I understand."

"It's just, I know Jasper told you about our own mini love triangle and I can tell you it sucks being the other girl. It hurts. I was hurt for a while."

Jasper flinches at Alice's words and pulls her closer to him.

"I can't watch Bella go through what she went through with Royce with you again. I refuse. So please, I beg you. Don't hurt her."

I'm not even two miles away before my phone goes off. It's Bella. I smile when I read her message.

...

"Welcome home sweet daughter of mine!" Eleazar Denali, Tanya's father, shouts when Tanya and I step out of her car.

"Daddy," she squeals.

I grind my teeth, already annoyed with his favoritism and the fact that I'm here unwillingly. I didn't know about it until Tanya got off the exit and was turning into her old neighborhood. I should have known. She told me we were going to be gone from home for two nights and three days then insisted that she drive. She never wants to drive and the one time she does we end up at her parents' house.

"If I told you I knew you wouldn't have come," she told me when we pulled up. I all but had a fit when I realized where we were going to be for the next thirty six hours.

"Edward, how dare you make your fiance drive three hours to see her father. That's man's job," Eleazar says when we shake hands. To keep from being an ass I just laugh along with him.

Eleazar is not a thin man. His stomach hangs over his brown belt that hold up his brown pants. The buttons on his violet shirt look like they're about to pop. He reminds me of Violet Beauregarde in _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory__._

"It's good to see you again, Edward," Sasha Denali, Tanya's mother, says hugging me.

She's always been so kind to me. She still looks somewhat young. Her figure is nice and she barely has any wrinkles due to her personal trainer and botox. You wouldn't be able to tell her nose is fake unless someone told you. I wouldn't be surprised if her boobs were fake, too.

I hope Tanya is nothing like her parents when we're older. I come from a very loving, natural family. I don't know how long I could stay with someone who expressed love to one child more than the other or wasted money on botox when it doesn't work.

"Edward, could you grab your luggage then meet me in my office?" Eleazar asks me.

I give him a small nod before going to the back of the car and getting out mine and Tanya's bags. They all leave me while I do and I thank God that Tanya packed light for once.

I have to walk up three flights of stairs and turn twice to my right to get to Tanya's old room. It's still pink and her comforter is still the same, a white fluffy one she's had since high school. She told me. I groan at the thought of how much sleep I'm not going to get for the next two nights. I'll end up sleeping on the floor because her bed is not comfortable.

Once I'm done somewhat organizing my things, I walk down the hallway and take a left to get to Eleazar's office. It's boring and dull but it fits him just fine.

"Hello, Edward," he says, after I knock on his door. He stands up to retrieve a book from one of his many shelves and sits back down. "Take a seat."

I do as he says and watch as he takes out a golden, antique pocket watch. He extends his arms out to hand it to me and I take it. I hold it up and watch as it spins. I notice a small inscription on it and take it in my palm to look.

_It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons -Johann Schiller_

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asks as I hand it back to him.

I nod. "Very. The quote is lovely."

"Indeed it is. It was my father's. His father gave it to him. It's been in the Denali family for centuries. It's passed down on each first born male's wedding day."

Something finally clicks and I understand what he's about to do.

"I never had a son." He starts, confirming my suspicions. "I always wanted one. You know, to carry on the Denali name. It looks like it ends here though."

I don't know what to do other then sit and watch as he pours out his inner desires, silently wishing that Sasha would call us for dinner, or something, but it doesn't happen. I could make a run for it, but that could result in me tripping and making a fool out of myself.

"I've decided I would give it to you on yours and Tanya's wedding day so at least something in the Denali name would continue on."

"I am very flattered," I say, honestly. "But why me?"

I am curious as to why he's chosen me when he had two other daughters who were married. He could have easily given it to their husbands even though they didn't have the best relationship.

"You've been around long enough to witness the many fights with me and my other two daughters. Correct?"

I tell him I have.

"I'm about to tell you something I've never told anyone before. I am ashamed. I am ashamed to be a father because I've all but shunned my first two daughters since they weren't sons."

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise at his topic. I shake my head and interrupt politely. "Sir, you don't have to."

He holds his hand up. "I want to."

I nod for him to continue. I had never understood his blatant disregard for his other two daughters.

"I wanted so badly to pass the Denali name along. I had this mindset that I was going to have a son to do so. When I realized I wasn't having anymore children and I should just appreciate the ones I have, I had already ignored the first fifteen and thirteen years of my first two daughters' lives. It was too late to fix it because they didn't forgive me.

"Tanya was seven and she hadn't been affected by my ignorance. She forgave me quickly and became my princess. I never got to do the things with Kate and Irina I get to do with Tanya because I was blinded by whatever the hell I was blinded by back then.

"This wedding has to be perfect for Tanya. I was never able to show Kate and Irina perfect. I am very ashamed as a father for that."

Basically he's trying to make himself feel better by spoiling Tanya with everything instead of making amends with his other daughters he wishes he could change things with. I feel nothing towards it. It still doesn't make up for all of the fights, tears and hurt he caused.

"And where do I fit into this?" I ask, not feeding into his self pity of a story.

"Garrett and Marcus." He shakes his head as he mentions Irina and Kate's husbands' names, " want nothing to do with me, which makes you the last male I can count on to carry this on. I need you to promise me."

"O-okay." I choke out, not thinking too clearly about what I may be promising him.

"I want you to promise that you'll make sure August thirteenth is the best day Tanya's ever had and when I hand you the pocket watch before you walk down the aisle you will keep it and save it until your first male son's wedding. Agree?"

I swallow a lump in my throat and nod.

"Great," he says, grinning. "Now, give me your arm."

When I extend my arm he grabs my forearm firmly and I do the same to his. He slowly wraps the golden chain of the pocket watch around our arms until I can't feel my arm.

"Gentlemen, dinner!" Sasha calls up to us.

Eleazar jumps a little and quickly unravels the chain. He puts it back in the book and sets it on the shelf. He's still grinning when he turns back around.

"You just made a promise you can never break. How do you feel?"

I shrug nervously.

He laughs and pats my shoulder as he walks ahead of me.

I feel like I need to stop making promises.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, it's probably not a good reason to stay but have you ever been in a relationship where the parent is set on something and you don't want to disappoint them because it's something they really really really want? That's the position E is in right now and he has a problem with disappointing people... and saying thingsmaking promises he doesn't mean or can't promise (;**

**As for Bella. We've all got a past. All I can say. It'll be explained more later.**

**So let me know what you think?**

_follow me on twitter:_ twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

_and also I made a tumblr_: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**It's filled of my favorite fics, pictures of Rob, Kristen, Taylor, etc. Also there's two videos on there that inspired me to write this. I would love for you to check it out and tell me what you think! **

**I can't follow you back on it because it's leaked to my other account on there which is super personal and filled with seventeen year old stuff but if you leave a message in my ask I will always answer back.**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

**Hello again. Thanks to all who reviewed last time. You brought smiles to my face.**

**THIS IS IMPORTANT: **every now and then i'll use lyrics from a song in a chapter or i'll have a person sing a song in the chapter or i'll have a chapter song. this week i have all three. I really would like you all to listen to the so as you read. It helps you feel the emotion I want you to feel. I swear, I wrote it while listening to the song.

anywho, the song is the cover of Skinny Love by Birdy which you can find http:/ youtu (dot) be /XL2Uzz4j01s just piece everything together. You can also go on my profile or tumblr page. There is a page for this story.

**Enjoy another Bella's POV**

* * *

><p>Chapter 9<p>

**BPOV**

I feel twelve again. I'm snuggled up on the couch with grey sweats and one of Charlie's large flannel shirts. Charlie's sock covered feet are in my lap while he rests his head on his pillow. It's almost midnight and we're both fighting sleep by watching some obnoxious show on adult swim. The only thing missing is Alice.

I've been in La Push since I got that call from Charlie two weeks ago. Billy was gone to visit Rachel and Jacob in Seattle that day, leaving Charlie by himself. Charlie did more lines than he was used to, causing his hallucinations of Renee to be more realistic.

When I pulled in Billy was stepping out of his truck. He hadn't gotten the same call and when I told him why I was here, he ran as fast as he both were expecting the worst when we opened the door to the bathroom. Charlie was curled up in fetal position, shaking. He was pale and his eyes were closed. If it wasn't for the soft rising and falling of his chest we would have thought he was dead.

Billy said it was nothing to go to the hospital for and he would take care of it. I let him because he knows what to do more than I do when Charlie has a bad trip. Apparently this isn't the first time it's happened. I heard them whisper as Billy put Charlie in the bed. Charlie doesn't want me to know. He doesn't want me to worry. He's trying to protect me.

I haven't gone back to Port Angeles. Billy had some of Rachel and Rebecca's old clothes that surprisingly fit. I asked Jasper for a couple days off and as soon as I found I'd be here longer than that, I asked for two weeks off. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow, but I won't decide until I feel Charlie can be okay by himself again.

Problem is I will never feel that way again.

"Dad what would you think if I moved back to La Push?" I ask.

He doesn't look away from the TV, but he heard me. His forehead creases as he thinks about it. I chew on my lip while I wait for him to say something, or at least look at me, but he doesn't do either.

"Dad?" I touch his foot, hoping to get some reaction out of him.

"What would you do that for?" he asks. It isn't the reaction I want, but it's something.

"To be closer to you." I shrug my shoulders. He's my only reason to come back here.

His eyes snap to mine. He looks angry. "Why me? What about Alice? Your job? Your own life?"

"Because you're my dad. Alice barely has time for me now that she lives with Jasper. I can always get a new job. I don't really have much of a life in Port Angeles now that I finished school." I answer each of his questions.

He sits up slowly and pulls his feet off my lap. He rests his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together. "You've become such a beautiful young lady. You know that right?"

He turns his head to look at me and I only shrug.

"Just like your mother. She's never been confident," he mutters.

That's only half true. She wasn't confident until the day she decided to leave us. Something changed in her after she left. She gained a backbone when she got remarried. She told me that her new husband, Phil, called her beautiful every morning which made her feel secure. I've never met him, but I've always wanted to so I could thank him for taking care of her.

You would think I would want nothing to do with Renee since she left me in La Push to basically take care of myself and my father, but I do. One day I hope to visit her in Florida so I can tell her what it felt like to grow up with my cocaine addicted father or how hard it is to put myself through college.

"Bella, can you go in my room and look in the top drawer in my night stand? Get the brown box with your name on it and bring it out here." His subject change doesn't surprise me too much and I do what is asked.

My feet drag as I walk to his room and wonder what's so significant about this brown box with my name on it. I wonder why it has my name on it in general.

Charlie's room is dark since the dark curtains are covering the sun outside. I don't bother touching the light switch because I know he unplugged everything. I wait for my eyes to adjust before I walk all the way in. I step over clothes, blankets, sheets, and socks before I reach his night stand.

There's butterflies in my stomach as I open the top drawer like Charlie said. The brown box isn't hard to find since there really isn't anything inside the drawer. There's a yellow post it note with my name on top. I pick it up and shake it, but there isn't a sound. My lip becomes raw as I continue to chew on my it deciding if I should open it or wait.

"Isabella?" Charlie's voice startles me. He become impatient.

I quickly get up and tuck the box underneath my left arm then shut the drawer. "Coming," I shout back at him, taking a deep breath.

He hasn't moved from his spot at all. His eyes are glued to the TV and his knees are bouncing. It makes me more nervous, but I continue to walk. He reaches for the box before I can sit down, but does nothing. It sits in his lap while we sit in silence for what feels like forever.

"I don't want you to stay," he tells me, sincerely.

I push back the hurt I'm feeling from his words and just nod.

"I meant it when I said you've become such a beautiful young lady. I had no doubts about that. You've always been a more than great kid. I always expected you to turn out to be like the people I used to arrest." His voice cracks and his head shakes at the mention of his old job.

If there's anything other than my mother leaving him that upsets him, it's his departure from his old job. He loved being Chief Police of La Push. He felt like a badass driving around in his personal cruiser and arresting the bad guys.

Now he's the bad guy. A harmless bad guy who, deep down, wishes he could go back and turn everything around. His wishes keep getting pummeled by his addiction. I've suggested he go to rehab numerous of times, but every damn time his lips move to say yes his mind flips a switch, telling him no and to go get another fix.

"I've saved this up for you," he says as he opens the box.

My eyes widen when I see three thick wads of cash. He dumps them all in his lap then kisses each one before putting them in my lap. My hands stay to the side as he does this. I can't even imagine how he got this money... well I can. I'd just rather not.

"Before you ask, some of this is from selling." He confirms my worst assumption but I'm happy he's honest. "Only about one third."

I snort at his estimated. "Dad."

"I failed math." He shrugs. "The other two thirds is from what Renee has sent me since she left."

"What?" I am completely shocked. I expected him to say he stole it, maybe even won it or something, but not Renee.

"How do you think you were fed, clothed and kept sheltered? Being Chief of Police was great, but the pay was not. She realized leaving like she did wasn't the right way to go. She knew my job wasn't enough to keep both of us well and alive. She felt bad so she pitched in and I had no problem with it. This is just some left over."

"Some?" I ask, eyebrow raised.

"She sent a thousand every two months. Cash. I assume to rub how rich she became in my face. Apparently Phil is some great baseball player with money." He scoffs, rolling his eyes and continues on with the more important part of the story. "I want you to take this. I want you to go to whatever state you want and start a new life there. You have so much potential that won't be discovered here.

"Go. Get married. Give me some grandkids and live a life you deserve. Maybe even travel the world or go back to school. Get your bachelor's, master's or become a doctor. Hell, you got it in you. You deserve to have something great."

I smile as he the father I once knew comes back to life.

"You grew up to too fast here and I'm to blame for that. Renee and I will help you with whatever you need. Just please don't make the mistake your mother and I made when we were your age."

I sigh, taking in every word he just said.

I could leave and forget this place. I could move away only to come back years later then reminisce on what used to be. I'd be older with three kids, two boys and a girl. They'd be named after a country I visited or something to remind me of my travels. I'd be an English teacher, maybe a chef or owner of my own business-something great so I could be remembered. I'd have the life I never had. I'd have a life I deserved because my father told me so.

"I can't," I tell him, shaking my head. I hold the money in my hand and try to give it to him.

"What you mean you can't?" He's pushing my hands back to my chest. "Of course you can."

"I can't leave this place."

"You mean to tell me that you can't leave this place that helped turn your father into an addict? Or this place that offers nothing but a beach and rain? Or this place where you spend your night hours taking your clothes off for men who should be at home tucking their children in like I used to for you?"

My mouth stays shut and my eyes are fixed on the ground.

"You didn't think I knew about your job, did you?"

I shake my head.

"Every father's nightmare is to learn that one of their friends saw their daughter shaking her ass while taking her top off."

"It's not my best, but it gets me by. I have my own place."

"Which I hear is crappy." He cuts in.

I roll my eyes. "I have my own car."

"Which is nice. I give you credit."

"I'm doing okay."

"Okay isn't enough." He shakes his head. "Not for a daughter of mine. Don't you ever want to settle down? Find some new old man to worry about instead of me?"

"Dad, I'm not into older men like you."

"Like me?" He grunts before chuckling. "I didn't mean it like that. You ever think about getting married? Having your own family?"

I nod.

"You have to start somewhere and you're not going to find a person who can deal with your smart ass, non-believing in yourself, I need to take care of everyone else before myself attitude."

"Dad I'm kind of seeing someone," I blurt out before I really know what I'm saying. I cover my mouth as soon as I do.

I mean, it's okay to say that I'm seeing Edward. I am. We both agreed. Him being engaged may not be the best thing at the moment, but it is what it is.

"Well do me a favor and run away with him while you can and make sure he fights for you at all times."

I nod.

"And promise me something?" He takes my hand in his, gently squeezing.

I shrug. I'm not a fan of promises, but anything for Charlie.

"Don't stay here forever."

I sigh. As I'm ready to nod an idea comes to me. A smile spread across my face and I'm suddenly feeling like I can have some control in this promise.

"Only if you promise me something." I offer my end of the promise.

"I'm listening," he says easily, though I'm sure he knows where I'm going with this.

"Go to rehab."

The look on his face let's me know he knew that was my compromise. The look on his face also tells me he isn't going to get mad or lash out at me like he usually does and when he nods slowly, agreeing with me I just hug him.

He hugs back, but it feels forced and uncomfortable. When I pull away, the look on his face tells me he is no longer my dad, he is Charlie in need of a fix. He's felt too much for the day.

"I'm going to bed. Billy should be home soon." He stands up and walks away without another word. I don't bother to call after him. I just watch as he stumbles into his dark room and closes the door behind him.

I can hear him as he shuffles around, throwing and moving things to find what he wants. What he needs. I silently cry.

Pulling his flannel shirt tighter around me, I wonder if we both can really fulfill our promises.

...

"You look like hell," Alice tells me when I walk into _The Treasure Chest._

I know what I look like and hell is an understatement. I took one look at myself this morning and all but cried. Being in La Push had hurt me more than I thought, on the inside and out.

My eyes are red from crying and not sleeping. My cheeks are tear stained and blotchy. My hair is a tangled mess. My skin is pale and I'm smaller since I didn't eat much.

"Is everything okay?" Jasper tries a different approach as I walk to them.

"Everything's peachy." My voice cracks before I all but run into Alice's arms. She doesn't say anything. She just holds me as I continue to cry.

I held it all this morning while Charlie screamed at me for leaving him like Renee did. I held it while he grabbed me and told me how much he hated me for this. I held it while I watched Billy and his friend Harry pull him to his room.

I feel Alice's finger lift my chin, but I don't look at her.

"B, look at me please." I hear her own voice crack. She hates it when I cry just as much as I hate it when she cries.

I look at her and my bottom lip quivers as I struggle to hold onto myself.

She runs her finger through my hair and down my cheek. I wince and pull away from her touch. Apparently Charlie not only grabbed me, he hit me because I have a purple bruise on my cheek.

Alice gasps and Jasper jumps over the counter so he can look. He looks between both of them and asks, "What the fuck happened?"

I tell them about my two weeks. I tell them about him agreeing to go to rehab as long as I moved away from here. I tell them how a switch flipped, he used and basically fought me and everyone else before I could leave. I tell them while I gasp for air and wipe my face of tears.

"Come on." Alice stands us up. "There's people coming in."

We go to the back. We sit on the couch, my head in her lap and her fingers in my hair. She's singing to me. She's singing our song.

_Come on skinny love, what happened here?_

_Suckle on the hope in light brassieres_

_My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my_

_Sullen load is full, so slow on the split_

_And I told you to be patient_

_And I told you to be fine_

_And I told you to be balanced_

_And I told you to be kind_

_And now all your love is wasted_

_And then who the hell was I?_

_And I'm breaking at the britches_

_And at the end of all your lines_

_Who will love you?_

_Who will fight?_

_Who will fall far behind? _

I've calmed down when she finishes. I'm no longer wishing for air or shaking. My crying hasn't stopped though.

"I have something to tell you Bella. Depending on how you look at it, it's good nor bad."

"Tell me," I whisper, wiping my tears away.

"You sure?"

I nod. How much worse could it get?

"Jasper and I know about Edward."

I spoke too soon.

"What do you mean?"

She explains to me that she and Jasper bumped into Edward and Tanya at the grocery store when they were visiting Alice's sister in Forks. Edward had lied to Tanya about going to dinner with me and used Jasper's name as cover. He didn't think Tanya would have to meet them since I gave her a false number. Edward didn't want to explain in the middle of the grocery store so he agreed to meet at Alice's sister's house later on where he explained our affair.

"Well, I guess the wolf is out of the bag." I sigh, sitting up.

"How can you joke about this? He's engaged Bella." Alice is in full mommy mode right now and I am the child who needs lecturing on who to say yes to and who to say no to.

"He doesn't want to be."

"I know."

"What do you mean you know?" I ask surprised.

"I overheard him tell Jazz that he would leave Tanya for you."

My hand covers my mouth. "He did?"

She nods.

"Wow," is all I can say.

I never asked for that. I never thought about it. I figured we'd deal with it if the time came. In all honesty, I never thought Edward and I would have to go that far.

"Bella, please be careful. I know you really like him and I'm aware he really likes you. I just can't see you hurt again like you were with Royce."

My eyes snap to hers as she mentions the devil himself's name. My nose flares as I try to keep my anger towards that heartless bastard away.

"Edward knows about him, too. Jasper told him."

"What the fuck? Did you think you could just tell him my life without me knowing?"

"You told him about Charlie's addiction. That is your life."

She's right. I don't tell anyone about Charlie's addiction unless I absolutely have to. The only people who know are the ones I feel secure with. I just feel secure with Edward.

"He probably thinks I'm some crazy bitch now." I run my fingers through my hair.

"Newsflash. You are babe, but if he's still coming back for more, knowing your father is an addict and you're a stripper, then sex is not all he's here for. He made it clear when we talked with him."

"He said he didn't just want me for sex?"

She shook her head. "No, the way he looked when he talked about you to Jasper said it all. Jazz thinks it's love. The kind of love he and I had when he was with Maria."

"That's not a bad thing. You both turned out okay." I smile.

She sighs, pullling me in. "I want you to know I do not agree with this and I won't until he's left Tanya like he said he would. If he hurts you I will have his balls hanging up as an ornament on my Christmas tree and I will take you to Hawaii."

"Hawaii?"

She shrugs, giggling. "I've always wanted to go."

I hug her again.

"I'm serious Bella. Be careful."

I nod and she kisses my forehead.

"I need to go get ready. You aren't expected to dance, but you are expected to cheer me on tonight." She gets up.

"Where else would I be?"

"Hawaii!" She laughs before leaving me in the back room.

I fall back onto the couch and stair at the ceiling. I'm not too sure how I should feel right now but I don't plan on thinking about it too much. Instead I take out my phone, send a message to Edward and leave to go support my best friend.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think.<strong>

**Again,** the song is the cover of Skinny Love by Birdy which you can find http:/ youtu (dot) be /XL2Uzz4j01s just piece everything together. You can also go on my profile or tumblr page. There is a page for this story.

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic

On tumblr there are two videos and those are what inspired me to write that story. If you look at them, let me know what you think (:


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

Hello friends, readers and reviewers. Thanks for everything again. Thanks to my beta, she makes everything I write look better and flow together correctly. Makes me happy.

Back to Edward's POV we go.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

**EPOV**

My palms are sweaty and my legs feel wobbly. My fingers are in my hair as I pace back and forth in front of the door. I can feel blood as I bite my lip. My chest is hurting from breathing too fast and too hard. I decide to go back into the living room and take a seat before I have a full blown panic attack.

I take out my phone and read the message that's been causing all of this.

_We need to talk -B_

Receiving that message last night made my heart drop. Agreeing to talk to her, at my place, scared me shitless.

Is this it? Is this really it? Is this Bella realizing that she's too good for me? Is this her understanding that she should just continue her life like she never knew me? Is this her breaking us up so we can forget about these last four months?

God, I hope not.

Not when I made that promise to Alice and Jasper. That promise I plan on keeping.

I invited her over for lunch. Tanya would be gone for the day and night. She's having a girl's day and night with Rosalie in Olympia.

I jump when I hear a car door slam. My hand flies over my chest and I can feel how fast my heart is beating. I need to calm down before I go into cardiac arrest.

I take a few deep breaths and turn around to watch Bella walk up my driveway. She's wearing jeans, a white long sleeve v-neck with a blue scarf wrapped around her neck and brown UGG boots with a brown purse wrapped around her looks just as nervous as I am as she gets closer. I can't take my eyes off of her even when she rings the doorbell. She plays with her necklace with one hand while her arm crosses over her stomach as she waits for me to answer the door.

Finally, I get up from the couch and go open the door.

"Bella," I say with a smile on my face.

Her shoulders relax when she sees my smile. "Edward."

I love the way she says my name. I pull her hand away from her necklace and kiss her palm. Her eyes close as my lips touch her skin. I pull her into me and shut the door.

"I've missed you," I tell her honestly. I just hadn't realized how much until she was in my arms and I was feeling like a missing piece of me was now found.

"I missed you, too." Her voice sounds sad, but when I pull away to look at her there is no sign of sadness on her face. She smiles back at me then kisses my cheek.

"Would you like something to drink?" I offer while we walk to the living room.

"No, I'm fine," she says, completely distracted by the house.

"Okay. I'm going to go get myself something to drink. You can sit on the couch if you want," I tell her before retreating to the kitchen.

I'm not really thirsty, but I needed to get away from her before I start panicking again. My hands are already sweating. I feel like the fourteen year old boy I once was going on his first date.

Her name was Victoria James. She was a year older than me and was friends with Rosalie. She had red hair and blue eyes, something you don't see that much. She was a cheerleader and very well known. I was the lucky one out of my friends because sophomores never say yes to freshmen.

Esme and Carlisle took pictures and I had to change my shirt twice because I was sweating so much. We went to get ice cream. Emmett had to drive us, but I paid with the money I'd gotten from walking dogs and washing cars. She said she had a good time and kissed my cheek.

Truth was, she really didn't have a good time and she didn't like me. The only reason she agreed to go with me was in hopes to get a glimpse of Emmett without his shirt on or something. She lied and told everyone that he kissed her.

Even though no one believed her, I felt like a loser for believing someone like her could like someone like me. I was a small, lanky freshmen. I stopped feeling sorry for myself when I saw her face a week later. Rosalie overheard her talking about her fake encounter with Emmett and beat the truth out of her.

Victoria became known as a liar and the first girl beaten up by Rosalie Hale. She transferred schools when Rosalie came back from suspension. Her mom says Forks High School wasn't good for her, but everyone knows it was because she was too scared to come out of the girls' bathroom.

Once I'm sure I won't pass out the next time Bella touches me, I head back to the living room.

Bella's not sitting down like I expected. Instead, she's standing in front of the bookshelf that has mine and Tanya's family. I lean against the wall and watch as her finger lightly traces the frames. A small smile spreads across her face and she sets it back down only to pick up another one, a small giggle escaping her.

I quietly walk over to where she is and snake my hands around her waist. I put my chin on her shoulder so I can look at the picture she's holding. She's holding a picture of me and Emmett.

I laugh. "This is from New Years two years ago."

I take the picture of Emmett sprawled across me, drunk. His mouth is open and I'm grimacing because he's slobbering on my jeans. Rosalie and Esme thought it was the funniest thing. I did not.

"Your brother seems like the life of the party," she jokes, taking the frame and setting it back on the shelf.

I stiffen when she picks up a picture of me and Tanya. It was three years ago when I took her to the Christmas party. We decided to match and wear light blue. It was the first night I got a taste of her high maintenance attitude. She wore a tiara.

"Where's the princess?" Bella asks, her hands gripping the frame more firmly. I sigh and take it from her then put it back where she got it from.

I pull her to the couch, explaining Tanya's whereabouts.

"Cool," is all she says, looking at her fingernails.

"So..." I say before it can become an awkward silence.

"So," she mocks me. She fights a smile while continuing to pay attention to her nails.

I roll my eyes, but smile. "How are you?"

Her nose flares as she sighs and holds her hand out in front of her. "Are we really going to go through this? Can't we skip the bullshit? I'm here to talk."

"Okay," I say softly, taking her hand in mine. "Let's talk."

"You told Alice and Jasper that you were going to end things with Tanya." She's looking down at our hands. I wonder if she's feeling what I'm feeling.

I nod. "I did."

Her head snaps up. "Were you being serious?"

It's me who looks away this time. Not because I'm going to tell her I wasn't being serious, just so I can gather my thoughts and make sure I'm sure about this. Once I tell her she's the one I want, there's no going back.

When my thoughts are gathered and I am more than positive I look back at her. Her eyes are sad and she's trying to keep from looking disappointed. She thought by looking away I was saying I wasn't serious and I'm not leaving Tanya.

"What am I doing here? I'm so stupid," she mutters, slipping her hand out of mine and running it through her hair. I try to find the voice to tell her that what she's thinking is wrong.

For the first time I am seeing the real her. Not the snarky, smartass attitude who can be blunt about every situation. She's vulnerable and upset. I'm not used to this and I have no idea what to do or how to react.

I watch her face change as she assumes. I want to know what she's really thinking and what she's feeling. Probably hurt.

Alice is going to kill me.

Bella sighs and reaches for her purse that's sitting at her ankles so she can leave. I grab her arm firmly so she can't move. She jerks, but I don't let go.

"Don't leave," I plead.

She sighs, frustrated. "Look. I came here to talk. Like an adult. We have to be honest and open with each other. No lies, no hesitations. I'm a big girl and you're a big boy. I'm sure we can handle the truth. Right?"

I smirk as I watch the Bella I'm used to come back. I nod in agreement with her. "Right."

"And if I sit down we speak the truth and nothing but the truth?"

I nod and hold up my right hand. "I swear it."

She nods and sits down. "I swear, too."

"And yes," I say, picking up where we left off. "I was being serious."

She fights a smile. "Really?"

I nod. "I don't know when, but I do know I don't plan on marrying her."

"You know I don't expect this, right? I like you... a lot," she breathes. "But I never expected you to leave her so we could be together. I didn't think we'd really be something."

"I didn't expect anything to happen between us. I thought the day I saw you at your work that'd be the first and last time I'd see you. I didn't think I would share a kiss with you or sleep with you. You're out of my league and I'm engaged."

She snorts. "No lying, Edward."

I grab her hand and capture her eyes with mine. "I mean it."

She nods, but I don't want to leave it at that. I want to make sure she knows that I am being sincere when I say I want to be with her. Because I do. There's just a lot in the way we wish isn't.

"I don't want to be just here," I say, taking my hand and cupping her jean covered sex.

Her breathing hitches and her eyes close.

"I want to be here, too." I move my hand to cover her chest where her heart is.

I can feel it beating faster than normal. I take this as my chance to lean in and kiss her, so I do. It's quick, but it feels nice. My heart starts to beat just as fast as hers. I've missed that feeling.

Her eyes flutter open slowly. "How do I know you're not just saying this so I'll stay?"

"I'm not one of those high school teenagers that will say anything to get you into bed," I tell her truthfully. "I never have been. That was all Emmett until he met Rose."

"That's not hard to believe," she chuckles. "Let's say you do call off the engagement with Tanya. Do you really think we'd make it?"

I nod. "There's a connection between us I've never felt before. It's strong and intense. Jasper says it's love, but I'm not about to throw that word out at you like I did with Tanya. I wasn't sure what love was back then and I'm still not sure, but I'd be more than willing to find out. With you. Do I think we'd make it? Of course. I don't think we'd go through this much trouble to be together if we weren't destined to last."

I'm surprised at myself. I never thought I would dig these words out of the hole I stuffed them in, hoping I would never have to face these feelings again. Now that they're out, it doesn't feel so bad.

It feels right.

"I'm willing to find out what it is with you, too," she says.

I smile. "Really?"

She nods shyly, biting her bottom lip.

I pull her into me and she laughs. "I hope this does work out, Edward."

"Me, too," I sigh. "Me, too."

We spend the next few hours getting to know each other.

I tell her about being adopted which she had no idea about. Carlisle's new found problem and Esme's.

"I like Esme. She's nice." A sly smile is on her face as she says this. "Though, I'm not too sure she'll like me after she finds out I'm the reason you left your fiance."

"She seemed to like you more than she liked Tanya. It took mom a year before she could stand being around her."

"I wonder why that is," she murmurs, sarcasm in her tone.

I tell her about the famous Rosalie and Emmett story. I only tell her about Tanya and I because she asks. I feel awkward telling her about how me met, our first date and how I asked her to marry me.

She doesn't say anything the entire time I talk, but her face says it all. Her nose flares when she's jealous and her eyes close when I say something she doesn't want to hear. Her lip stays between her bottom teeth the entire time.

She tells me about her father and mother. I watch pain flash across her face when she talks about his addiction and her absence. She tells me she plans to visit her mother and tell her how mad she is about it.

She surprisingly talks about Royce. I feel like she did when I was talking about Tanya. My nose flares when I hear how bad he treated her. My eyes close as I listen to something that pisses me off. By time she's done my fists are balled up and I'm set on finding the mother fucker so I can kill him.

"Hey," she says, noticing how tense I become. She cups my cheek and I calm down a little. "It's okay. It's over now."

I nod.

She moves on to talk about Alice and I am able to understand why Alice reacted the way she did. They're more than best friends. They're each other's lifelines. If they didn't have each other, they'd have no one.

I ask her about her school. She studied English literature, business and took some culinary classes. She wants to go back to school one day so she can become an English teacher. She likes it that much.

"I could barely stay awake during that class," I say truthfully. "I was only good at math and sciences."

"I was good at math, too, but English was so... intriguing."

She goes on and on about why she likes it so much. I let her because I've never seen her so animated about something before. Her face scrunches up, but her eyes are still wide with excitement as she talks about Shakespeare, Emily Bronte and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

"It's getting late," she says when the clock strikes eleven at night. She stands up and stretches her body. I can see part of her stomach when she lifts her arms and yawns. She slings her purse over her should then extends her hand out to me. "Are you going to walk me to the door or what?"

I take her hand and let her help me up. We hold hands as we walk to the door. I steal a few kisses and grab her ass, loving the way she squeals and giggles.

Once we're at the door, I realize how bad I don't want her to leave. I pull her in for another hug, kissing her forehead at the same time. She sighs deeply and holds onto me.

I could get used to this.

"I want you to stay with me," I say quickly.

She pulls away from me. "Seriously?"

I nod, biting my lip. I don't take rejection well and I can't imagine how it would feel if she said no.

"I would love to, but one thing." I watch as her cheeks turn pink and she goes to hide in my shoulder. I put my finger under her chin before she has the chance and kiss her lips.

"What is it?"

"I feel silly for asking." She looks away from me and shakes her head. Her vulnerable side is showing again.

I pull her chin softly so she can't look away again. "We have to be honest with each other, remember? No lies. No hesitations." I repeat her words.

She glares jokingly and relaxes a little. "I don't want to sleep in yours and Tanya's bed."

I mentally slap myself for not thinking about how uncomfortable Bella would be in the same room that Tanya and I have slept and had sex in.

She groans and moves from under me. She puts her hands on her pink cheeks and shakes her head. "I'm so silly."

"Yes you are," I chuckle, pulling her back to me. "Especially if you think I don't have your best interest in mind. We have a guest bedroom. We can sleep there. That okay?"

She nods.

"Good. Would you like something to eat?"

She shakes her head and yawns.

I smile. "Are you tired?"

She nods, giggling.

I take her hand and kiss her palm. "Let's go get you a change of clothes then."

The idea of Bella in my clothes is mouth watering. I'm almost too eager to get her upstairs.

"The guest room is down there if you want to go. I'm just going to change my clothes. I'll grab you sweats and a t-shirt. That okay?" I ask when we get upstairs.

"Just a t-shirt, please," she says, looking past me and into my room. Her eyes snap to mine when I don't move or anything. I'm still caught on her only wanting a t-shirt. She shrugs. "I don't like pants."

I give her a smug look and walk towards her. "I don't like them on you."

She pushes my chest away with a grin. "I'll be in the guest room."

I watch as she walks down the hallway then turns into the room. I all but run to my drawers getting out a shirt for her and some sweats and t-shirt for me. I also get a condom or two... you know just in case.

I rush into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and run my fingers through my hair a couple of times. I almost trip as I change into my sweats and try to answer my phone at the same time.

"Hello?" I answer after finally pulling them all the way up.

"Baby!" Tanya squeals. "Oh I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you, too," I lie. The only reason I've thought about her is because Bella asked me about her.

"I can't wait to come home. I have good news for you!"

"I can't wait to hear it." I try to sound interested, but I'm not. "I'm going to bed honey, have fun tomorrow. Can't wait to see you."

"Okay. Kisses. I love you."

"You, too." I say quickly then hang up.

I grab Bella a towel, wash cloth and an unopened tooth brush just in case she wants to take a shower or anything before we go to bed.

I can see Bella's shadow in the doorway as I walk down the hallway. She's standing in the middle of the room, taking in her surroundings. I clear my throat before stepping all the way in. She jumps and I smile apologetically.

"These are for you. I didn't know if you wanted a shower or not. The bathroom is over there." I reach out to give her the t-shirt, towel, wash cloth, and toothbrush.

She smiles and takes them. "Thank you. I'll be just a second."

"Take your time. We have all night." I wink and she leans up to kiss my lips.

I watch as she walks into the bathroom then shuts the door softly behind her. I hear her lock the door then turn the shower on.

I take this time to freak out. I bite my lip, my nails and run my fingers through my hair fifty times before thinking jumping jacks, push ups and running may calm my nerves. It does nothing but make me sweat and realize I'm out of shape.

I hadn't heard the shower turn off and my stomach drops when I hear the door click. I'm still going crazy on the inside, but I'm doing my best to keep a poker face.

That is until she steps out of the bathroom...

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry to leave it there, lol<strong>

**An all Bella and Edward chapter... minus the Tanya call... **what do you think the news is?

Let me know what you think & I'll send you a teaser for the next chapter

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic

**See you soon!**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

Everyone's guesses about Tanya being pregnant were funny. You all make me laugh and feel evil because I won't tell you if you're right or not.

Trust me, k?

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hoped you liked the teaser!

also this is very important...

**DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT** read this chapter without listening to this song:**_ Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars._** Listen to it here: **http:/ youtu (dot) be /Y-6EwdDiopQ **It makes the chapter better. I used some of the lyrics also. It's such and amazing song. Just listen.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

**EPOV**

"Edward," Bella speaks softly.

I hear her but say nothing. I'm too distracted by... her.

My palms are sweaty. My knees are weak. My body is heavy.

I've forgotten how to speak. If I say anything it'll only come out as gibberish.

So I stand there. Mouth open. Palms rubbing against my sweats. Eyes on Bella.

She's staring back at me. Her bottom lip is between her teeth and her eyebrows are furrowed. Confusion is written all over her face.

Her hair is wet and pulled to her right shoulder.

Her arms are crossed with the towel I gave her, her jeans and shirt folded over of them.

She's wearing my shirt. I hadn't realized how long it really is until I notice it stops mid-thigh on her. It looks like she isn't wearing anything underneath.

Her long, pale legs are toned and model-like. She shifts her weight on them nervously.

"Where should I put this? I just hung the wash cloth on the edge of the tub." She gestures behind her.

"That's fine. You can just throw it on the chair," I say, pointing to the red chair in the corner of the room. "I'll get it in the morning."

She nods and extends her arm to throw the towel. Her shirt rides up enough so I can see her pink, lace boy shorts and her belly button ring.

I feel my breathing hitch and my dick twitch.

Sweet baby Jesus. What is she doing to me?

The towel lands with a small thud on the arm of the chair. She smiles, proud of herself.

Her eyes land on me and her smile slowly fades. I can only ogle as she walks over to me. Her arms wrap around my torso and she rest her head on my chest.

"A penny for your thoughts?" she asks.

I take a deep breath, taking in her scent and loving it. Her hair smells like the strawberry shampoo I planned on giving Esme, but forgot. Tanya hates the smell of strawberries, but I love it - especially now that Bella's wearing it.

"You," I finally say.

"Me?" She pulls away.

I nod, really looking at her. She's not wearing any make up. I see the small freckles that are normally hidden by foundation, eyeliner and other cosmetics. I'm used to seeing the censored, bad ass Bella - which I love. But I adore the natural, not so bad ass Bella.

"You're beautiful," I tell her.

Her eyes roll and she looks away from me. "Yeah right."

"Hey," I say, putting my fingers under her chin and gently pulling her face back to mine. "I'm serious."

She looks in my eyes, searching for lies she won't find. She bites her lips defeated, then stands on the tips of her toes to kiss me.

Her hands tighten around my back and my hands go to her hair, pulling her in closer to deepen our kiss.

As we kiss, I silently wish I could go back. I wish I had said no to Rosalie when she asked if she could set me up on a date. I wish I hadn't said "I love you" to Tanya when I didn't mean it. I wish I hadn't gotten down on one knee and asked Tanya to marry me. I wish I hadn't promised Eleazar that I would continue to carry his name.

I wish I could have met Bella four years ago. I could have convinced her to stay in school and not strip. She would live with me and we wouldn't have to sneak around. I could proudly carry her on my arm and show her off to my friends. I'd be happy to give her my last name and bear a child with her.

But everything happens for a reason, right? If I hadn't gone on that first date with Tanya, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me. If I hadn't asked her to marry me then I wouldn't have had to go dress shopping. If I hadn't gone dress shopping, Emmett would have never had to come save me and take me to The Treasure Chest. I would have never met Bella, right?

Wrong. I would have met her if we were destined to be together.

The ache in my heart, the butterflies in my stomach and the feeling I get as her fingers run up and down my spine tells me we are destined to be together. I would have met her either way. This way just happens to be a lot more complicated.

Bella pushes me backwards so I fall onto the bed. She crawls on top of me, putting her legs on each side of my hips. She tugs at the hem of my shirt and I sit up a little to make it easier for her to pull off. She throws it to the side with a content smile on her face.

"Tell me you want me," she says, kissing down my chest.

"I want you," I tell her, trying to keep my breaths even.

She smiles, content with the start of her game.

She runs her finger down my chest again then hooks her finger on the waistband of my sweats. My dick twitches again and I'm sure she felt it. Her smile grows and so does my erection as she leans down, taking my bottom lip between hers.

"Fuck," I hiss when her hand enters my pants wraps around my shaft.

She pumps slow slowly and her tongue massages mine.

It's sloppy, but it's nice.

I feel disoriented. I'm not sure what I'm saying. While I hate the toxic affect she has on me, now that I've had a taste, I don't think I could live without it.

I sit all the way up as she removes her hand and takes her shirt off. I cup one of her breasts in my hands while I take the other's nipple between my teeth. She whimpers when I bite down. I watch as her head falls back and her eyes close. I switch between sucking and biting, loving the way she squirms against me.

The hold I have on her is tight. Not tight enough to suffocate her, but tight enough so she can't get loose from me.

I run my tongue down her cleavage and she arches her back until she's laying all the way down. I kiss a trail down her belly button and when I get to a ticklish spot she giggles. I smile at the sound, but smile harder when I hear her moan at my touch to her wet core.

I massage her sex, fascinated by the way she's reacting to me. I feel ashamed that we were drunk and I hadn't been able to enjoy it this much the first time.

Slipping her boy short off of her, I rub her clit faster then run my tongue slowly up her folds before inserting a finger. After a few pumps I insert another one and watch as she starts to climax. Her legs tremble and I feel her tighten around me.

"Not yet, love," I say, slipping my fingers out and kissing her lips one last time.

She sits up. "Fuck you." She scowls playfully before pushing me back and climbing on me. "Fuck me."

She kisses me hard. Our breaths become frantic. Her hands tangle in my hair and mine do the same to her. My chest hurts as I gasp for air so when she moves her lips to my neck, I let her.

I shake my head, catching my breath. "Love you. Love me."

The kisses on my neck stop. She slowly leans back, eyeing me.

I expect to see anger. I had ruin the mood with this L word.

"I'm sorry," I apologize without thinking.

When I look at her, it isn't anger I see. Her expression shows the exact emotions I'm feeling.

Anxious, scared and curious.

"Do you really think it's possible to love me Edward?" She bites her lip.

I nod. "I really think it's possible."

"I want to figure out what love is with you." She looks down, tucking strands of hair behind her ears.

"Then we can do it together?" It's a question.

She answers with a nod then leans forward to kiss me again. She slips her tongue in my mouth and she caresses slowly.

It's intoxicating, but it's sweet.

"Your mouth is poison. Your mouth is wine," I say between breaths.

Her fingers are on the waistband of my sweats again but this time she's tugging at them. I lift my hips, making it somewhat easier for her to pull them off of me.

"Condom," she says, moving her hand up and down my shaft again.

I reach over and grab one of the condoms I brought from my room then give it to her.

Bella and I have never talked about protection. I thank God we were somewhat responsible that night and used protection. I didn't know if she was on any kind of birth control and who knows what kind of situation we could be in if there was no condom.

I watch as she rolls the condom on then sits up on her knees and puts the tip of my dick at her entrance. We both cry out in pleasure when she lowers herself onto me. She rocks her hips back and forth, biting her lip and eyes closed. I grip her waist to keep her from going too fast. I don't want us to cum too soon.

"I dream of this every night," I say, telling her something I haven't told anyone.

"You think your dreams aren't the same as mine," she gasps, trying to speed up her pace.

Had Bella had dreams of us together like I had?

Do I cloud every thought of hers like she does mine?

"Yes. Fuck, yes," she cries out.

She puts her hands on my shoulders to brace her self. I raise my hips, meeting her thrusts and getting deeper each time. Her nails dig into my shoulders as she bends down. Our foreheads are pressed together and our eyes our locked on each other's while are lips barely touch.

"I want you. All of you." She's crying. I can feel her hot tears running down her face onto mine. "I don't have a choice, but I still choose you."

I kiss her cheeks, forehead and mouth again. It doesn't fix anything. She continues to cry and circle her hips on me.

"Please don't cry." I ask, wiping the tears away.

"I'm okay," she says, unconvincingly. She sits back up, eyes closed. "I don't love you, but I always will," she mutters to herself.

I flip us over in one swift movement, taking control for her. Her legs wrap around me and I thrust, making her scream in pleasure instead of cry in agony.

I stay inside of her until our orgasms are over, resting my head on her shoulder. Her cries have turned into soft hiccups. I whisper in her ear, telling her it'll be okay. I kiss her cheek and tell her to hold on before moving off of her. I walk to get the towel she used from earlier and pick up her clothes on the way back.

I wipe her off first then myself and throw the towel back on the floor. I slip her boyshorts back up her legs and she sits up so I can put her shirt back on. I feel her eyes on me while I put my own sweats back on. I don't bother putting my shirt back on.

I lay us both down. She rests on her side while I fold my hands behind my head and stare at the ceiling.

"Edward?" Her voice is light.

"Yes?" I ask.

"I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back."

A smile forms on my face and I turn on my side to scoot closer to her until her back is pressed up against my chest. I feel her relax into me and I wrap my arm protectively around her.

"Thank you," she says. I can see her cheeks rise. She's smiling, too.

"Anytime."

...

"Yo, baby bro! You here?" The sound of Emmett's voice wakes me.

Bella stirs, but her eyes don't open.

It takes me a moment to comprehend what is going on and soon I am removing the sheets from my feet. I grab my shirt and pull it over my head then exit the guest room.

Emmett is standing at the foot of the stairs. His arms are folded and his hands cup his armpits. His lips are pursed and his eyes are squinted. He watches me as I walk down the steps.

"What?" I ask when his expression doesn't change.

"Who's car is that outside?"

Fuck. I forgot about Bella's car.

"Uh..."

"Don't you dare try and lie to me. You have an'I invited Bella over so she could spend the night and have mindless, rough sex with me' look written all over your face."

I run my hand down my face and shake my head. "Everything's true but the mindless, rough sex thing. I did invite her over to talk."

He grunts, rolling his eyes. "I see how that went. So where is she?"

"Upstairs."

"You slept with her in yours and Tanya's bed?" he shouts loudly.

"No. The guest room."

He shakes his head, laughing.

"I'm glad you find this funny," I say, sarcastically.

"Who would have thought my brother, an engaged man, sleeping around with a stripper ho."

"Can you stop calling her a ho?" I say, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"But that's what she is. She's ruining your relationship with Tanya. You've been with Tanya for four years. She's going to be your wife. You're marrying Tanya. You love Tanya."

I shake my head. "I don't love Tanya."

His eyes widen and his hand goes to his chest. "Edward. I am appalled."

He's pissing me off and it's taking everything in me not to hit him. "Will you shut up?"

I grab his wide bicep and push us into the kitchen.

He laughs. "Dude, will you chill out? I'm only kidding. I know you don't love Tanya. You wouldn't be in the situation if you did."

My eyebrow furrows. "What do you mean?"

He sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Brother."

I shake his hand off and tell him not to touch me.

He rolls his eyes. "Stop being a bitch and listen to me."

"Fine," I huff and sit down at the table.

He goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk carton then gets two glasses from the cabinet to pour it in.

"For you," he says handing me one.

"So let's pretend this is your relationship with Bella." He gestures to his full glass of milk.

I shrug. "Sure."

"Now, drink your milk please," he says casually.

"What?" I ask annoyed with him already.

"Drink your milk," he repeats, folding his hands and leaning on them.

I roll my eyes and put the glass to my lips to drink. He stares at me and I want to hit him again.

"Tanya!" He shouts, startling me and causing me to choke.

"And that is your relationship with Tanya." He points to my half empty glass of milk.

"I don't understand?"

He shrugs. "It's your relationship with Tanya."

"It's a half empty glass of milk for crying out loud."

A smile brightens his face. "My point exactly. Your relationship with Tanya is half empty."

What the fuck.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with my brother?" I ask seriously.

"Rosalie has made me a wise guy." He shrugs.

"Anyway, your relationship with Tanya is half empty. At least it was when you met her then you both actually started dating each other and now," he says, picking up my glass and drinking until it's gone. He has a milk mustache when he finishes. "It's fully empty."

"That's an oxymoron," I scoff.

"That's your relationship with your fiance," he chuckles, taking a sip from the Bella glass. "And this will slowly become your relationship with your... mistress until you leave your fiance."

This is a full three-sixty turn around from what he said the last time I saw him. He told me to leave Bella, not Tanya. Now he's telling me to leave Tanya, not Bella.

"Why are you saying this now? Last time it was Bella I should leave. Now it's Tanya." I repeat my thoughts.

"If you say these words to anyone, especially Rosalie, I will deny them and you as a brother." He's joking about the brother thing. He would never.

"I won't. Brother swear."

He rolls his eyes. "No need for that. It's not that serious, but I don't like Tanya. I never have. She's one of those manipulative bitches in a bad way."

"There's a good way to be manipulative?" I ask, missing the point of what he just told me.

He nods. "Let's take Isabella for instance. She manipulative in a seductive, sexy way. She's got you wrapped around her finger, but it's good because it benefits you both. You both like each other and it's really not hurting either one of you.

"Tanya. She's manipulative in a bad way because she's only doing it to benefit herself. She was basically brought up that way thanks to Papa Denali. Rose told me Tanya lies about shit to get her way all of the time and if it still doesn't work then she'll have a five year old tantrum."

Doesn't sound surprising even though she's never done that with me. I wonder why that is.

"You're probably wondering why she's never done it with you, huh?"

My eyebrows come together and I nod.

"Usually it's about you. Secret time you will not share with anyone."

I nod.

He rolls his eyes. "This is where we brother swear."

"Right. Brother swear."

"The ladies are in Olympia today so Tanya can get some information on fertility treatments. I don't like liars man. She tried to get Rosalie to lie to me and by the looks of it, she's lying to you, too."

I feel the pit of my stomach drop and I gag. Was this Tanya's good news?

"You didn't hear it from me." Emmett puts his hands up.

I stare at him, shell shocked.

Tanya can't get pregnant. Not right now. Not ever. I don't want a child with her.

"Edward."

Bella's voice snaps me out of my trance. I get up and go to the foot of the stairs.

She has the sheets wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair is a mess and she rubs her eyes sleepily.

"Morning, beautiful." I smile up at her.

She walks slowly down the stairs. "Is someone here? I heard a voice."

Her arms wrap around my neck and I kiss her forehead. "Yeah. Emmett."

"Should I leave?" Panic flashes across her face.

"He already knows and he's okay with it."

She nods then kisses the side of my mouth.

"How'd you sleep?" I ask as she stretches.

"Good. That bed is comfortable and I was next to the best man ever."

I only smile at her words. She has no idea how much better she could do.

"Yo! Yo! Yo!" I tense as Emmett steps in the room.

Bella giggles, I roll my eyes and Emmett stuffs a spoon of dried cereal in his mouth.

"Why are you eating that dry?" I ask.

He grins mischievously. "We ran out of milk."

"Of course. Uh, Bella this is my brother Emmett and Emmett this is Bella."

"We already met," Bella says.

"Right." I sigh.

"So what are we doing today?" Emmett asks.

"We?" My eyebrow rises.

He nods and finishes another bite of cereal. "I forgot to tell you that the ladies are staying another day. Some new store down there they didn't have time to clean out because of... you know."

I nod and Bella looks at me puzzled. I shake my head, telling her not worry about it. She shrugs it off.

"So I'm supposed to hang out with you today... but I see you had other plans."

"I can leave," Bella suggests.

I shake my head. "It'll look better if we're all doing something together. You know so no one can suspect anything."

"It'll be hard not to suspect anything with the sexual tension between your body parts. Woo! I can feel it right now." Emmett fans himself.

I punch his chest while Bella blushes. "You'll learn to ignore him."

"She's going to have to if you guys get married."

I slap my palm on my forehead.

Leave it to my brother to fuck things up.

Taking a deep breath, I turn back to Bella. "Did you want to do anything special today?"

She bites her lip, thinking then smiling when she comes up with something. "I want to get a tattoo."

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think.<strong>

Still think Tanya is preggo?

Don't forget to trust me.

**Again,** _Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars._ Listen to it here: **http:/ youtu (dot) be /Y-6EwdDiopQ**

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic

Until next time! (:


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

Updated early because I'm going out of town tomorrow, I hope you all don't mind.

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and put me on their alerts. Thanks to my beta!

Oh yeah, and I hate Tanya just as much as you all do but she has to stay around for a little bit longer. Trust me, trust me & trust me!

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12<p>

**EPOV**

We took Bella's car since she knows where the tattoo place is and just in case Tanya made a surprise visit home. Emmett's in the backseat, dancing and fist pumping by himself. Bella and I sit in the front, holding hands and laughing at him.

"You have got to be the coolest chick ever!" Emmett yells as Bella gets on the exit to Port Angeles. "Well other than Rosalie. She's first and you're second. That okay?"

"Of course, that's totally fine." Bella smiles at him. "I'm used to it."

She murmurs the last part and I'm the only one who heard her. Her eyes stay fixed on the road and her expression doesn't change so I assume she thinks I didn't hear her.

I let it be.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Bella as she pulls into the parking lot of Port Angeles Tattoos and Piercings.

She nods enthusiastically and parks. "Of course I'm sure. I've wanted this for _so long_." She drags out the words dramatically.

I laugh. "Okay. My treat then?"

"Damn he's getting you a tattoo? Why aren't you marrying her?" Emmett says from behind.

I turn around and shoot daggers at him.

"What?" he asks stupidly.

I don't have time to tell him what because the door shuts, catching my attention. I watch as Bella walks to the building. I can't tell if she's upset or anything. I hope neither one.

I turn back to Emmett. "Say nothing of us in public. Thank you."

I don't wait for him to answer. I jump out of the car and run after Bella.

She's leaning on the counter, talking to the guy I assume works here. He's tall and lanky with glasses. He's wearing a fitted black t-shirt. Black rimmed glasses sit on his nose. He pushes them up multiple times. He has a full sleeve on his left arm and a half on his right. He's wearing a silver watch and a long chain necklace to match. He even has his ears pierced.

She's flirting and I'd be lying if I said my blood isn't boiling as I watch. She's twirling her hair, sticking her chest out and tilting her head to the side.

My fists clench and unclench.

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I count to ten. I rock back and forth on my heels. I wait for something to happen so I have reason to hit something.

The guy looks away from her and catches my eye. He takes a step back then says something before turning around and walking to a back room.

Bella turns around and when she does it's me who takes a step back. She takes a deep breath before walking to me.

"What were you doing?" I ask, gaining my composure again.

"Getting a free tattoo. What were you doing?" She's being the snarky, smartass Bella right now. I'd definitely be lying if I said it's not making me want to stick my tongue down her throat.

"I told you it's my treat. You don't have to go showing off your boobs to get a free one," I say harsher than I intend.

It's the adrenaline from being jealous talking.

I open my mouth to apologize for the way that sounded but she beats me to it.

"I take my clothes off for a living, Edward. I'm a big girl. It didn't even work and besides," she says, crossing her arms. "I'm not the one you're marrying."

Her nose flares and she turns on her heels. I grab her hand before she can get anywhere and pull her back to me.

"Are you upset about what Emmett said? I told him not to say anything else like that."

She shakes her head. "Forget it."

She tries to pull away, but I don't let her move.

"I'm not going to forget it. No hesitations. No lies. Remember?"

She sighs, nodding. She relaxes slightly and I let her arm go.

"It's gets old feeling like I'm second to everything. My dad with his addiction. Now you with your fiance-"

"You're not second to her." I cut her off.

She shrugs. "Doesn't mean I don't feel that way."

"I told you I'm leaving her," I say, my voice low.

"And I told you that was fine."

"You're not acting like it's fine."

"Don't make this complicated Edward." She sighs. She steps forward, closing the small gap between us. Her hand cups my cheek. "It's fine."

I'm thinking of Emmett's advice a long time ago. He said, _"When a girl says she's fine, do not believe her."_

I nod even though I don't believe her. She brushes her lips against mine and I can feel her smile.

"Isabella Swan," the guy who she was talking to calls her name.

She smiles, putting her game face back on. "Here."

She turns around and walks away. I don't stop her.

I watch as she talks to him again. She doesn't flirt, but she does smile and laugh a lot.

I wonder if she knows how much better she could do.

She's smart and intelligent. She doesn't have to be a stripper.

She's beautiful and has more than a nice personality. She doesn't have to stick around with me.

She's so much better than what she has now. She doesn't have to be here.

But she is. For Charlie. For Alice. For me.

Such a silly girl to stay here for me.

"So what'd I miss?" I hear Emmett beside me.

I grimace when I see him. He has an ice cream cone with vanilla and chocolate swirl. He has some on his face and some of it's dripping on to the floor.

"Do you ever stop eating?" I ask disgusted.

"Nope," he says, popping the "p".

"Edward," Bella calls me. She gestures for me to follow her so I do. Emmett is close behind.

We're in the back room. Bella is told to straddle the chair. She does so and rests her head on her hands. The guy from the front desk gives her a book of tattoos to chose from. She looks through them excitedly while Emmett and I stay far away from everything.

Emmett has a tendency to touch and break things.

"Well look who it is!"

Everyone's attention turns toward where the voice came from. In the doorway, a man is standing with one arm on his hip and the other propped up against the door frame. Both are fully tattooed. He's the size of Emmett but he's wearing a fitted black t-shirt just like the other guy.

"Hello Felix," Bella says. I watch her grip tighten on the book.

"Wait you know her?' The guy asks surprised just like I am.

Felix rolls his eyes. "Yes, Demetri I know her. She's an old friend of mine through some friends... and others places."

Bella snorts, rolling her eyes. "Other places as in my job. I strip," she says to Demetri.

I'm surprised out how blunt she is.

She notices and shrugs. "Advertising. Jasper will thank me later."

In all honesty, Demetri doesn't even look like he's old enough to be a tattoo artist let alone get into a gentleman's club.

"Anyway," Bella says, turning her attention back to Felix, "I didn't know you work here."

Felix chuckles and Demetri snorts. "I own the place now _baby girl_."

Anger flickers in Bella's eyes. A playful smile is on Felix's face. Demetri, Emmett and I watch in confusion as the two exchange silent words. By the looks of Bella's face, they aren't too pleasant.

"I came here to get a tattoo. Not to reminisce on old pet names," she tells him through her teeth, struggling to keep her composure.

"Uh. Are we missing something?" Emmett attempts to whisper to me, but it doesn't work and I end up with ice cream spit in my ear.

"Yes," I say, wiping off my ear.

"Who are they?" Felix says, pointing to me and Emmett.

"They're friends. And he's," she points to me, "where you'll be getting money for your services today."

"Friends?" Felix's eyebrow rises. "And he's paying for your tattoo? C'mon Belly. I know you better than that."

"If you want to get paid at all then you can pretend like you don't know her and treat her like every other customer that comes in here," I speak up, finally sick of him taunting her.

Felix scoffs. "Whatever. I was just fucking with her. Demetri will do your tattoo. I'll be in the back. You have a nice day."

I give him a fake smile and he glares back.

"Oh," he says, turning back around. He's smiling again and I don't like it. "I'll tell Mr. King you said hello."

"Don't bother," Bella snaps, glaring.

"Felix, I need to get started now," Demetri interrupts.

"Let me know if you need anything," Felix says before wiggling his fingers at Bella and leaving.

Bella's eyes are on the book, but she's not really looking. I can see her bottom lip quivering and I want to know what's going on. I want to know why all of a sudden her attitude changed when that Felix guy walked in.

They obviously have some history. Maybe not dating history, but definitely friendship history. He doesn't look like the type she'd date, but he obviously knows her enough to get under her skin about something. They're not friends anymore and I think it has something to do with whoever Mr. King is.

Who the hell is Mr. King?

"Bella." I want to ask her. She doesn't look up at me, but she flips the page landing on butterflies.

She leans in interested. Her finger runs over each one until she finds one she likes. "I like this one."

"Colored and everything?" Demetri asks.

Bella nods.

"Where?"

Bella pats her right shoulder blade.

"Damn girl. You sure you can handle that?" Emmett asks.

I seem to be the only one still stuck on what just happened.

"Of course," Bella giggles finally looking up. She doesn't take a chance to look at me though.

"Badass," Emmett says.

"Okay. Let me go get some more ink and we can get started," Demetri says.

"Bella," I say again when he leaves, a little louder and more stern than I had before.

Her eyes snap to mine. "Drop it Edward. Not here. We will talk later."

I only nod. I don't want to argue with her. Not here. Not ever.

...

Emmett and I watch as Bella gets her tattoo. She hardly flinches or shows any sign of pain. She kept her eyes closed and you would have thought she was sleeping if she hadn't been talking.

When Demetri is finished it looks amazing. A small, blue butterfly is on her right shoulder. She smiles as she looks in the mirror. It makes me feel good to see her smiling and happy again.

"Where do I pay?" I ask.

"Uh, Felix should be at the front desk..." his voice drifts off when I make a face. "Unless you'd rather me take it."

I shake my head. "It's fine. I'll be right back."

Emmett follows me out the door and through the red wall hallway filled with framed pictures of previous customers.

"You think I should get a tattoo?" Emmett asks.

I shrug. "If you want."

"You think Rosie would like it?"

I snort. "When does Rosalie not like anything you do?"

He thinks for a second. "Never. I'm the shit."

"Right," I say sarcastically.

"I'm just trying to relax you a little. I know you were two seconds from punching that Felix guy. Just remember, your name is so much cooler than his. Who the hell names their kid Felix?" He shakes his head.

I can't help but to crack a smile.

"Well thanks."

"No problem." He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

Felix isn't at the front desk and though I wish he is, I'm glad he's not. I condone violence but I will fight if someone is taunting my girl and making her uncomfortable.

My girl...

Do I even have rights to say that?

No. Not yet anyways.

I like the way it sounds though.

When I'm done paying Emmett and I go back to the room. Demetri is covering Bella's tattoo and explaining how to take care of it. She's watching as he covers it, not paying attention at all.

The smile and excitement on her face make my heart melt.

"It looks good," I tell her.

She turns around and runs to me. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me.

"Thank you so much,"

"Anytime." I kiss her hair.

"Okay love birds. Time to go." Emmett interrupts us.

...

The car ride is mostly quiet until a song Emmett knows comes on the radio and he decides to sing along.

I watch Bella out the corner of my eye. She seems to be in deep thought as she concentrates on the road. She doesn't say a word to either one of us, but I hear her humming the words to a couple of songs that come on the radio.

It's six when we get back to my house. Emmett decides he's hungry and Bella offers to make us dinner. She makes lasagna and it's the best damn thing I've ever eaten besides Esme's chicken alfredo.

I have a thing for Italian foods.

Emmett leaves around nine. Bella and I watch some movie that neither of us pay attention to because we're so caught up in our thoughts. She sighs five times before I decide she's trying to get my attention and wants to talk. I shut the movie off and pull her closer to me.

"So you want to tell me what the whole nickname and death stares were about earlier?" I ask first.

"Not really," she says, checking out her nails again.

I wrap my arms around her so her back is facing my chest. I lace my fingers through hers so if it's any fingers she's playing with it's mine. Her thumb traces over my veins and it's heavenly.

I love her touch.

"His last name was King," she says in barely a whisper.

I feel my forehead crease. "Whose?"

"Royce. He was Royce King II." She snorts. "Felix is... or was his best friend when I dated him. If Royce wasn't with me he was with Felix and vice versa.

"Felix was a douche to me. If you hadn't noticed that already. He feeds off people's weaknesses. He taunts and jokes about it until you snap - whether it's crying, cursing or throwing your fist at him. He likes it all," she says, disgust in her tone.

"Anyway, Felix wasn't too fond of mine and Royce's relationship. I was," she puts her hands up and makes air quotations, "taking his friend away. When Royce and I were fighting Felix was usually around or had something to do with it. I assume that's why Royce was an asshole to me in general. You know, if I act this way I can still be cool."

I nod because I do know.

As a boy you grow up with the mindset you always have to be a certain way and act a certain way in order to earn and keep respect. It's not true at all.

"Royce called me baby girl and Belly. It used to make me laugh and he'd usually call me one or the other after we fought to make me feel better. It did. It was my weakness and now Felix used it against me. I had no idea he worked there." She takes her hand out from mine and rubs her face.

"You seemed fine at first," I say in all honesty. If she was upset when Felix first came in the room, I couldn't tell.

"I was trying not to show him that his presence was fucking with my head." She sighs, sitting up and looking at me. She runs her hand through her hair. "Then he called me those names and it took everything in me not to jump over everything to hit him."

"It took me a lot as well. I could tell he was upsetting you. I had to step in." I shrug.

"Thank you." She leans in to kiss me. "It means a lot to know that."

"And Bella, what Emmett said in the car. He's stupid. His mouth just opens and he talks. He doesn't think before he does so..." I ramble on about how Emmett really has no filter and is a big three year old, but she silences me with her finger.

"It's okay. I was just... I don't know, but it doesn't matter." She leans in again to brush her lips against mine.

I still don't believe her words but again, I don't want to argue and kissing is taking my mind off of it.

"You want to go upstairs?" she asks breathlessly.

I shake my head. "I actually just want to lay here and hold you. I don't know when we're going to get this time again."

Her heart melting smile breaks across her face and she cuddles into me. Her head rests on my chest and our legs tangle. I get the blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around us.

We spend the rest of the night like this. Stealing kisses, laughing, sharing stories of our childhood, and just being together.

...

Bella left early this morning. Something about having to be somewhere for something. I was half sleep as I walked her to the door and kissed her. She told me she would call me and see me soon. I told her I'd be waiting.

"Edward?" I flinch at the sound of Tanya's voice.

"In the living room," I call back to her.

I hear her shut the door and her click as she walks down the hallway. She has on sunglasses and four shopping bags hanging on her arms, two on each.

She's smiling and I feel obligated to give her my best smile back, but it's fake. I'm not happy to see her.

"I missed you so much!" she squeals, throwing her arms above her head.

"I missed you, too," I say, still fake smiling.

She squeals again, dropping her bags and skipping to me. She plops down in my lap causing me to grunt in pain. I play it off with another fake smile.

She kisses my face. Her lips feel funny. I miss Bella.

"How was Olympia?" I ask, trying to back away from her.

"Really good. Rosalie and I had so much fun like we always do. Oh! I have something to tell you!" I watch as her excitement builds back up.

I'm going to shit myself if she says she's pregnant.

I can't deal with that. I don't love her. Of course I would love my kid, but I couldn't stay with Tanya just because of it. That's just as wrong as me sleeping with Bella.

"Okay tell me." I say, hesitantly.

I hold my breath as she squeals one last time before speaking. "What do you think of a spring wedding?"

I let out the breath. "The wedding?" I was about to shit myself because I thought she was about tell me she's carrying a precious child. "Spring? Sure."

"I was thinking April thirteenth instead of August plus it'll be hot plus the place Rose and I looked at and adored is only available in the spring."

"Sounds good to me." I don't really care seeing as I won't be marrying her.

"Oh good!" She wraps her arms around my neck. Her feet are kicking and my face is in her chest. I'm suffocating. "You would love it. It's to die for!"

"I'm sure."

"We'll have to go see it before I leave for Italy in March."

I forgot all about the ladies' Italy trip.

"Whatever is fine honey," I tell her again.

"You don't seem excited." She frowns.

"I'm excited. I'm just tired." I wonder if she'll ever get tired of that being my excuse.

She sighs. "Well okay. I'm going to go shower and stuff then we can spend some time together."

I nod and she gets off my lap.

Putting my elbows on my knees, I rub my hands down my face.

There is now only three more months until I'm supposed to be married man. I love another woman and I'm planning on leaving my fiance in those three months.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

* * *

><p><strong>Lol, so she's not preggo. Sorry for getting everyone hyped up and making you think she is at the moment.<strong>

**Let me know what you think! The next chapter will be out next week because I'm going on vacation. Last one before school start so I'm going to enjoy it!**

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic

Until next week! (:


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

Back from vacation. It is 2:29 am and I am updating because I love you all.

Vacation was nice, it was good to get away from everything. I missed writing though.

School starts in exactly three weeks. Yikes. I'll be finishing up by then. We are now starting to get to the climax of the story.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 13<p>

**EPOV**

It's February thirteenth. The day before Valentine's day. I have exactly two months until the wedding. In those two months I'm supposed to end things with Tanya. I could be at home deciding on how I'm going to do so, but I'm spending my day looking at places where my reception is _supposed _to be held.

I'd rather be doing this than going to the doctor for monthly check ups for a baby though.

"So what do you think about this one?" Tanya asks, twirling around in the middle of the ballroom. This is where she wants the reception.

It's a nice, big place. All of the walls are white except one. That wall is four tall windows that face the city of Olympia. It's beautiful. There's a dance floor in the middle of the room, a bar and space for a DJ or whatever. There's tables with white cloths on them and candles in the middle.

I shrug. "It's nice, but I really like the Seattle place better."

In all honesty, I don't care but I have to play the part until I find the courage to tell her I don't want to be with her anymore.

I don't know why I don't have it yet. I know I don't love her and I'm only dragging it on by staying with her. It'd be a lot easier if she'd just leave me. She threatens that she'll leave if I don't pay more attention to her. I tell her I won't care if she does. It makes her cry and it breaks my heart. I'm a sucker for tears no matter who you are, how much you've pissed me off or how much I love you.

I do still love Tanya. Not like I love Bella though.

"It's nice," I say honestly. "But I thought we're having the wedding in Seattle."

"We can still have it there, but we can also have the reception here. It's only an hour away."

I shrug. "I guess."

I don't really care where we choose to have it. It won't be happening. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell her that, but I'm sure it's not happening.

Tanya thanks the woman who owns the place, Zafrina I think her name is, and we leave. I let her hold my hand just because it makes her happy. It makes her feel good to know that I'm hers, at least in her mind.

"So, I have some more news," Tanya says as we sit down at a restaurant she wanted to show me.

"As always." She doesn't hear the annoyance in my voice.

"While Rosalie and I were here we planned our bachelor slash bachelorette party."

I nod, knowing there's more. "Go on."

"Remember Bella from the Christmas party?"

Oh do I. I nod again.

"Well I think she gave me the wrong number." Her eyes roll and she mutters something along the lines of strippers are stupid.

I clear my throat and adjust in my seat to keep from speaking up about how Bella is more intelligent than she'll ever be.

"Rosalie called some people and asked if they would perform and do a dance with me. They said yes, "she squeals excitedly almost hitting our drinks in the waiter's hand.

I smile at him apologetically.

He takes our orders then leaves again.

"Anyway," she begins again, "it's called _The Treasure Chest_..."

I don't hear her words after that.

How could I have not seen that coming? I know Rosalie and Emmett go to a lot of clubs so figure they have to go to more than one strip club. I mean there's a lot of those, right? I'm sure of it, and of all places Rosalie calls, it's _The Treasure Chest_.

The place where Bella works.

The place where I met Bella.

The place that started it all.

"...so it'll be in Port Angeles. The owner said he would close the bar down that night for us. It'll be the day before I leave for Italy. Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"

"Mhm," is all I can say. "Port Angeles. No one but us."

She smirks so she must believe I had actually listened to her. She leans in, crossing her arms and pushing her breasts up. She runs her tongue across her bottom lip and looks at me, lust in her eyes. "Aren't you excited? You'll be seeing me in almost no clothing, dancing and shaking my ass."

I give her the best lust filled smile I can and nod, smirking.

She leans across the table and presses her lips to mine. "You better be."

I've never been so screwed in my life. How am I going to deal with seeing Bella in her work "clothes" while dancing and spinning around on the pole while having to act like I'm interested in watching Tanya?

I mentally slap myself. I'm an idiot, a coward and a mess all in one.

...

"Doctor Cullen," one of the nurse's voice comes through my intercom. "You have a visitor. Would you like me to send her back?"

I groan. "Go ahead."

The nervousness in my stomach makes me feel like Tanya being here won't be good. Whenever she spontaneously comes to visit me at work it's never good. It's almost two and as I flip through pages of my book I try to think of something I did that would make her come this late.

Either way we'll end up fighting and I'll end up pushing her out of my office because I don't want drama here. That's how it usually happens.

My office is almost the second place I feel like takes me away from reality.

The first is Bella's lips against mine.

There's two knocks at my door. I don't look up from my book as I call to Tanya that it's open. I hear the door open then click shut. I can hear the clicking of Tanya's heels against the floor. She stops when she gets right in front of my desk. She's tapping her foot in a repetitive rhythm. It's annoying the fuck out of me.

"Will you stop please?" I sigh, still not looking up.

She stops. "Damn. What's gotten your panties in a bunch?"

My eyes snap up, meeting the pools of brown staring back at me. I put my book down and get up from my chair. I try my hardest not to trip over anything as I make my way to Bella.

She's beaming and my heart is racing.

I sigh in relief as I pull her into me. I don't dare mention who I thought she was.

Her scent fills my nose and I feel home. I hadn't realized how much I had really missed her. It's been more than a month since she's actually been in my presence.

"Missed me much?" she asks, pulling away to look at me.

I nod, smiling. "So, so much."

"Sorry I haven't called or texted you. Dad's been sick again so I was with him and working a lot more."

"It's okay. You're here now. Speaking of, how did you know where I worked? I never told you exactly where I worked or anything like that."

"Emmett. I was going to go to your house, but I called him and asked if it was a good idea. He told me you were working, so here I am."

"Remind me to thank him later," I say, leaning down and taking her bottom lip into mine.

Her eyes are still closed when I pull away and she nods. Her hands slide up my chest, fixing my name tag in the process, then snake around my neck. My eyes close as she lightly kneads her finger into the back of my neck. It feels so good.

When I open my eyes she's looking around my office just like she had when she came to my house. Her eyes find mine and she smiles contently. "So this is where you work?"

I nod.

"I've never liked hospitals." She grimaces. "But this is nice. The other nurses are nice, too."

"Yeah, it's okay. Let's get out of here. I'm on my break and I want to take you somewhere."

She smiles. "Okay."

I try my best to sneak past the other nurses though I'm sure it won't help. They're probably gossiping about who Bella is and why she's here.

The last time I went to the meadow was the night I had that dream about Bella. It hasn't changed much. The flowers are gone and I think someone added another lunch table. There's also a couple of ash trays sitting on the tables. I'd have to give kudos to whoever brought those out here.

"Wow, this looks pretty under the moonlight," Bella says, looking up at the stars and moon then back at me. "I've always been a sucker for the stars and the moon. I wished on a shooting star once. Best day of my life."

"What'd you wish for?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her.

"I can't tell you that. It won't come true." She giggles.

I kiss her neck. "You can always wish again."

She sighs. "Okay. I wished for everyone to find love. My mom, Alice and even Charlie some day."

"Did it work?"

She nods. "For all three of them. Renee and Alice found love in two very strong, independent men who take care of them. Charlie fell in love with drugs."

She sighs. The thought of Charlie frustrates her.

"Have you ever thought about doing an intervention for Charlie?"

She scoffs. "Of course, but there isn't one person who could drive him away from that fucking powder. Not even my mom. He's too far deep into it now."

"Have you ever... you know... tried it?" I'm cautious. I don't want to offend her.

Her head shakes. "The only thing I'm addicted to is nicotine, piercings and you."

She turns so she's facing me. She runs her fingers over my face and rest them on my chest.

"I'm not so bad, am I?" I lean down, running my tongue over her top lip. I bite down on her bottom lip and slowly pull away then let go.

"Not when you do that," she breathes.

"What about when I do this?" I ask, dipping my head down to kiss her neck.

I run my tongue down to her collarbone and lightly kiss her. Her head falls back and I feel her knees slightly bend. I smile, kissing a trail up to the other side of her neck. Her breaths are fast and I swear I can hear her heart beating.

"Still not bad," she manages to say.

"Good,I say, picking her up and walking over the one of the lunch tables.

I lay her down, her legs are still wrapped around my waist. Our tongues fight. Her nails scratch at my back. I harden in my pants as she moans.

"Edward I need you now," she whispers against my lips.

She doesn't have to tell me twice.

I unbutton her jeans with one hand while I use the other to slide my work pants down my hips. I pray to god that no one decides to come out here.

Pulling her jeans all the way off comma I touch her center. She's wet and warm and I love it. I push two fingers in her as she wraps her hand around me.

It only takes her two pumps for me to be ready. She lies back down and I line my dick up in front of her entrance.

"I don't have anything," I say, thinking twice before entering her.

"It's okay."

"You sure. I mean, we shouldn't have to worry about anything. Tanya and I always use condoms."

Yes it's true which is also another reason why it was so surprising when Emmett told me she was in Olympia for fertility treatment information.

"I trust you," she says.

I nod and push into her. We both grunt as I pull out and push in even harder. Her legs wrap around my waist and her fingers tangle in my hair.

"Shit," I say, already feeling my orgasm building up.

Rubbing her clit, I continue to thrust into her. She rolls her hips with mine causing me to get deeper each time. I don't know what she does, but whatever it is causes me to reach my climax and cum out of nowhere. It's powerful and intense.

I pull out of her and tuck myself back in my pants. She lays there, staring up at the moon and the stars peacefully.

"I've never felt anything like that," I say to myself. She hears me though.

"Pressure point stuff. Something I learned in school." She shrugs, pulling up her jeans while lying down. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter then hands the pack to me. I take one and give it back.

"I bet you Tanya can't do that shit," she jokes cockily, handing me the light.

"No," I say, lighting my cigarette. "Speaking of Tanya," I say, taking a drag. "Have you heard you're going to be dancing at our bachelor slash bachelorette party for real this time?"

"What do you mean?" She exhales the smoke and it's the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen.

"My sister-in-law, she went to The Treasure Chest with Emmett once. I guess Tanya asked her if she knew any places because she figured out you gave her the wrong number and Rosalie called Jasper. He unknowingly booked."

Bella snorts. "Well then. This should be fun."

"And awkward."

"When is all this happening?"

"Before they go to Italy in a couple of weeks."

"Why so early?" She flicks the ashes off her cigarette.

I take a deep breath before answering. "She moved the date of the wedding."

"To when?"

"April thirteenth instead of August. She likes the idea of a spring wedding now and the place she wants to have the reception isn't open in August so she moved it."

"And you agreed?" She takes another drag.

I nod.

She shrugs. "Now you can end things with her faster."

"I guess," I say, taking another drag.

"You guess?" Her tone surprises me.

I've heard her talk when she's irritated, but she's never been irritated with me.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Forget it."

"No. I won't." I press the issue. I want to know what I said that's upset her.

She runs her hand through her hair and pulls it over her left shoulder. She gets off of the lunch table, wiping her ass off in the process. She takes one last drag of her cigarette then throws it to the ground and steps on it. Her arms cross and she looks everywhere but me.

"Bella," I say. "Talk to me."

She inhales deeply and her eyes flash to mine. "I'm tired of waiting."

My eyebrows furrow.

"See. Forget it."

I jump off the lunch table and stomp out my cigarette. "No. Keep going."

She takes another deep breath. "I'm tired of feeling like this sideline girl to you. I'm tired of being second to her. I'm tired of waiting for you to pluck up some courage and tell her you don't want to be with her." Her voice cracks and she stops.

"Bella." I start but I have no idea what to say. "I'm sorry."

She snorts. "Right. Tell me Edward. Do you love me?"

"I-,"

"No. Yes or no. Do not lie. No lies. No hesitations." Her eyes are closed and her fists are balled up.

"Yes. I love you." I had never said it to her before - only in my dreams or my head. I've said it many times before though, to other people.

"And do you love Tanya?"

"To an extent. Not as much as I love you."

"So tell me," she snaps. "What's the hold up?" Her bottom lip quivers and she shakes her head.

I run my hands through my hair. "I don't know," I say because other than I'm a coward I don't know why I won't end things with Tanya.

"You want to know how bad it hurts to see you kiss her or to be in your house knowing she lives there, too?" She's crying. "You want to know how bad it hurts to not be able to hold your hand, kiss your lips or hold you in public?" She charges at me.

I stand still as I watch her hand raise.

I stand still as she swipes it across the air.

I stand still as her hand connects with my face.

"Not even close to that, but if one day someone asks how bad you hurt me, instead of saying I don't know, you can say you have an idea."

I don't say anything as I try to collect my thoughts. Where did this even come from? She said it was okay. She said I could take as long as I needed. She said that she never expected me to end things with Tanya for her. She said she didn't think she was second. She said...

She lied.

I look at her, rubbing the cheek she just slapped. "You lied to me."

Her nose flares and she crosses her arms. "Of course I did. Why would I be okay watching the man I love be with someone else. Even if it's just for pretend for a little bit. Why would I be okay with being just your fuck buddy or your mistress or whatever it is you call me while you have a fiance? I'm not. I lied because I thought if I kept telling myself it would be okay then it'd just go away quicker, but I can see it's not happening anytime soon."

"What happened to no lies?" I ask.

"What happened to no hesitations?"

I can't say anything because she's right. Even if I do say something it won't fix anything.

She runs her hand through her hair again and let's it fall back onto her right shoulder. "I can't keep doing this Edward. When you get your shit together, call me."

And with that, she walks away. I'm left standing in the middle of the meadow with Bella's hand print on my face and her words ringing in my ear.

...

"So who was the chick?" Jane asks as I make my way out of the unit.

I sigh, annoyed. "A friend."

I don't want to think about Bella right now. I just want to go home.

"Just a friend?" Jane presses.

I stop in my tracks. "Yes."

"You're lying. Your nose twitched."

My eyebrows come together in confusion. "What?"

"Your nose twitches when you lie. I've seen it happen a thousand and one times when you tell someone's family you think they're going to make it through something. Plus I'm not stupid. My mom had an affair on my dad. I was the only one not stupid. So I'll ask again and I want the truth. Who was the chick?"

I roll my eyes and pull her into a corner where I hope no one can hear or see us.

"She's my girlfriend if you must know - or was at least."

Jane smirks then leans over to the side to yell down the hall, "Pay up ladies!"

There is a loud chorus of groans from the other end of the hospital. I blink stupidly as I realize what just happened.

"You made a bet on me?"

Jane nods, chuckling. "I just got two hundred dollars."

"So they know?"

She nods. "And we're okay with it. We like her better. She's much nicer than the other witch. I swear Tanya comes in here acting like we don't clean this place every two seconds. So what are you going to do?"

I shrug. "I don't think she wants to talk to me right now."

"And why's that?"

"Not here," I say.

We go to the cafeteria. No one is in there but a janitor with earphones in.

I explain to her the unfortunate event of last night, cringing and becoming upset all over again. I end up having to start from the beginning. She surprisingly listens, nodding and shaking her head at some moments.

When I'm finished she sighs. "I think you know what you need to do. You just don't know how to. You're a heart breaker Edward but not a _real _one. Yeah, you love Tanya, but you feel like Bella is where you should be. It'll all get better. I promise."

I hope she's right. I can't stand feeling like this for long.

"I don't want to see you marry a witch or someone you're unhappy with. It's clear you're unhappy with Tanya. Being with her is making you unhappy with yourself. I'm sure you've heard this before but in the end someone is going to get hurt. Could be all three of you. Just make sure you make the right decision, for you. Fuck what everyone else thinks. Do it for you. That's exactly what I told my mom."

"And who'd she choose?"

She smiles. "My dad. It took many, many years for him to trust her again but they're together now and working out fine. It doesn't matter who you choose. Both relationships would change after you decide, but decide for you - not everyone else."

She's right, just like everyone else. I know it shouldn't matter what everyone will think of me in the end of this. I'll be the cheater who married Tanya or the cheater who married Bella. Either way I should be happy and Tanya doesn't make me happy. Bella does.

But, I may have just ruined that.

* * *

><p>Trust is good. It is soooo good.<p>

Edward is an idiot. My beta had dubbed him as cluelessward. He's just... a man. Men can be dumb and clueless. *shrugs*

Let me know what you think. I will also send a teaser to those who do.

Also, I am taking recommendations for the story. I love to hear what my readers think should happen & what they would like to see so if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them and if I like it enough I'll work it in here, of course I will say where I got the idea from.

Goodnight!

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

I know it doesn't look like Edward is leaving Tanya at the moment, but he is. I hate giving that away but yeah, he is. Trust me! It helps. I don't make promises to break them.

Also I know I said last chapter was the climax of the story. I meant, it's the starting point. The next chapters are all getting to the climax.

I finished chapter 16 last night and it made a turn in which I didn't think was going to happen, I tried not to let happen, but it did. Hopefully you all are happy with it. We'll see in two more chapters, haha

Thanks for reading, reviewing and putting me on your alerts.

**IMPORTANT SONG CHAPTER: **Closer by Kings of Leon LISTEN! http:/ youtu (dot) be /XatzX6WQ2ec

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 14<p>

EPOV

"Edward. Honey. Come to bed. Please," Tanya begs from the top of the stairs. She has been pleading for me to come upstairs since midnight. I haven't moved from my spot since I found out why.

It's St. Patrick's Day.

We celebrate as many holidays as we can because with our work schedules we never know which ones we'll be together on.

Last year I would have run upstairs, giddy as fuck, to see Tanya in her leprechaun costume with tall, green stilettos and edible four leaf clovers. I would have put my special edible four leaf clover boxers on and let her eat them off of me for the hell of it then have crazy sex...

But right at this moment, I'm cringing at the thought.

I don't want anyone eating shit off of me or having sex with me unless it's Bella.

We haven't talked since we got in the argument and I don't think we're going to anytime soon. I've texted her more than needed in the last two weeks. I've memorized her voicemail. The dial tone has become my best friend and I've left a message after the beep more times than I can count, but still no answer.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dying inside. I haven't fought so much with Tanya since I first met Bella. I find myself snapping at her more often. I go to work more in hopes to keep my mind off of her, but Jane and the other nurses' snickers and giggles about Bella visiting can be heard.

My constant thoughts and daydreams of Bella are back. They've taken over my life and sanity. I hate sleeping because when I close my eyes, I see her. I'm happy the night I cried out for Bella, I had chosen to sleep in the guest room instead of with Tanya. It still smelled like Bella which only made it worse.

I felt like a zombie. Tanya said something about it - only once though because it caused a screaming fight ending with her threatening to leave me again. I simply shrugged because I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Edward." Tanya's voice rings in my ear. "Come play with me!" She giggles. I gag, but get up.

I drag my feet as I make my way to the stairs. I don't look up as I take each step. I can see her legs. They're nice... but not like Bella's.

I don't like to compare the two, but if I had to rate them like Emmett and his friends would have done in high school, Tanya would be an eight and Bella... well there's not a number to describe how beautiful and amazing she is.

I don't notice that I'm at the top of the stairs until Tanya is pulling my collar by her fingers. I have no choice but to follow after her.

Her leprechaun outfit is a two piece this year. A green skirt that is too small for her and a top that it too small for her. She's even wearing a hat with ears on it. She looks ridiculous and I can't believe I was into this the previous years.

"What the fuck?" I gasp when I see what she's done to our room.

She decorated it.

She's never done that before.

She changed the light bulb to make the room green. There's a green blanket on the bed that says "Happy St. Patrick's Day". There's also a leprechaun statue in the corner that looks creepy as fuck.

"Uh. Babe, what is all this?" I ask, turning to see a smile on her face. She's really happy about this.

"I decorated." She claps her hands together.

I grimace, looking back at the room then back at her.

She frowns. "You don't like it?"

I shrug. "If you like it, I'll deal with it."

She squeals excitedly then grabs my hand and pulls me to our bed. She sits me down and pulls on the hem of my shirt until it's all the way off. She pushes me back onto the bed, rubbing her hands up and down my chest.

I'm a fucking statue. Well, everything but my dick is. I'm a man not a robot. It's hard not to get an erection like every normal man would. Just because I'm aroused by Tanya dressed up like a hot fucking leprechaun doesn't mean I feel okay with it.

I refuse to have sex with her knowing Bella will be on my mind the entire time again. That was rude of me. Also, after having sex without a condom for the first time, with Bella, I'd rather not do that with Tanya. I may not love her like I used to think I did, but I respect her.

And that creepy leprechaun statue is staring at me.

"Tanya," I say as she kisses trails down my collarbone.

Her lips aren't soft like Bella's. I groan, pushing her a little when she doesn't move.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"That leprechaun." I point to the corner.

"Do you want me to take it out the room?"

I shake my head, sighing.

She could take it out the house and I still wouldn't want to sleep with her.

"Then what?" she says sadly, sitting all the way up and crossing her arms. She's annoyed.

How can I go about this nicely? How can I tell her I don't want to have sex with her without telling her I'm sleeping with someone else? I could just tell her I'm seeing someone else, but I think she deserves an explanation when she's not in her bizarre costume and when the room isn't green.

I got it.

"I want the next time to be special," I say quickly.

Her eyebrows come together. "Special?"

I nod. "Like on our honeymoon, on the beach and under the moon type of special."

Her arms cross and she puts her hands on her hips. "Edward fucking Cullen. We haven't had sex in two months and it's because you want to make the next time special?"

I nod again.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?"

A better question is what the fuck have _I_ gotten into and the answer would be Bella.

I shake my head. "Nothing. I just really want to make the next time special. It fits with your theme of the wedding. You want it to be the perfect day and I want you to have the perfect night."

I was feeding her bowls of bullshit. I know there will be nothing perfect about that day or night.

She sighs. "When did you decide this? Because I know you weren't going to wait until August to get some more of this." She points down to where her green skirt covers what's in between her thighs.

I try my hardest not to gag. "When you told me you were moving the wedding. I was talking to a girl from work and she said how she wished she had waited until her honeymoon night to lose her virginity because it meant more to her that night."

"Fine," she says, getting off of me. "I'll wait."

"Thanks." I lean up to kiss her cheek. "Another thing."

"Sure."

"Are you trying to get pregnant?" It just comes out but I don't stop it or take it back when it does.

Her eyes widen. "What? No. Not until after the wedding at least. Why?"

I shrug. "Just wondering." I kiss her again.

She kisses me back. Tongue and all. I can see why she had been so upset. The way her tongue sloppily dominated mine told me she wanted sex.

I pull away before we can get too carried away. She gets off the bed with a huff and retreats to our bathroom.

Running my hands down my face I get up from the bed, too. I pick out some sweats and t-shirt. I decide to take a shower in the guest room not because I don't want to wait on Tanya.

The door is closed and locked when I'm finished. I can hear soft moans and whimpers when I press my ear to the door. I'm surprised she didn't leave the door unlocked just in case I spontaneously decided to come back in, wanting her.

I opt out of going back downstairs to watch some TV. Instead I go back to the guest room and lay down with the pillow Bella slept on almost two months ago. It still smells like her.

I don't stay up to wait for Tanya to unlock to door. I fall asleep with a smile on my face and Bella's scent filling my senses.

...

"Are you sure you don't want to come in and watch?" Tanya is trying to be seductive as I pull into the parking lot of _The Treasure Chest_. They're practicing for our bachelor slash bachelorette party. Her hand is going up my arm and she's leaning in close.

"I'm sure," I say, peeling her fingers off of me and staring at Bella's car.

"You damn right you're sure. You have to hang out with me today!" Emmett says loudly from the back.

He winks at me in my rear view mirror. I can see Rosalie nibbling on his ear. I roll my eyes and his smile widens.

"He's supposed to be surprised anyways," Rosalie says when I park the car. "Come on."

Rosalie kisses Emmett's cheek then gets out of the car. Emmett follows her so he can get in the front with me. Tanya sighs, leaning over and kissing my cheek, then gets out, too.

"We'll be back at six," I tell them - well Tanya since Rosalie is already at the door, talking with Alice.

Tanya waves and I can see Alice in my mirrors staring at the car as I drive off.

"Damn, man. You should've broken things off when you first met Bella. Ending things with Tanya is not going to be pretty." He shakes his head then puts his hand on my shoulder. "I couldn't be you. It's going to be crazy when Tanya and Bella are dancing beside one another. Who are you going to watch?"

It's a rhetorical question. Not that I would have time to answer because he goes into a fit of laughter.

We go get ice cream at a local parlor and it's like this the entire time I'm with him. He thinks of what it'll be like when I tell Tanya, how her parents will react and how everyone else will react. He laughs and makes fun of Eleazar which is something I can't help but laugh at.

"How do you think Esme will react?" Emmett asks, eyes widening. He smiles and clears his throat to sound like Mom's. "I am so disappointed in you. I thought I always taught my boys how to stay loyal to women. I guess I can't be too mad. I didn't like her that much anyway."

I snort. "Mom was never good at hiding that Tanya wasn't her favorite person."

"Nope," he says, licking his falling ice cream. "How do you think Doctor Carlisle is going to take it? His perfect son cheating on his perfect fiance."

"I'm not perfect, Em."

He rolls his eyes. "Bullshit. He probably wouldn't even be disappointed. He'd give you a pat on the back for having two gorgeous girls at once."

"Emmett. I'm going to slap you. Rosalie is and was the hottest girl of Forks, Washington. She's a model and takes care of you. She's blond and more intelligent than most of the nurses with PhD's at the hospital. She cooks, cleans, drives, has a plan for her life, and gives you amazing sex. She also puts up with your bullshit and jokes. The only other woman who did that was Mom. You're not going to find another woman like Rosie. Ever. So be proud of it."

"I am proud of it. I just wish I had a father who was also proud of it." He looks at his ice cream cone as he tells me this. He doesn't want me to see the sadness on his face.

"He's proud of you. He just has a hard time showing it."

He shrugs. "Whatever. I'm more than proud to have Rosalie by my side. She's hot as fuck, treats me like a king, but can also treat me like a two year old." He frowns then smirks again. "The best thing about my Rosie is that she can..."

I cover his mouth before he can finish. He speaks into my hand though. It's muffled and not even I can hear him. He's smiling when I take my hand away.

"We should get going. It's almost six."

Emmett nods and we leave.

I'm eager to pick the girls up to see how the rehearsal went. I wonder if Bella talked to Tanya again. I wonder if Tanya even recognized her. What if they started fighting? What if Tanya said something that insulted her as a stripper and not only did Bella hit her, but the other dancers as well? What if Rosalie and Alice had a stand off...

Now that would be something I have to see. Alice is small but she could take Rosalie.

Tanya and Rosalie are outside with Alice, another girl I hadn't seen and... Bella. Tanya is smiling, waving at me excitedly. I pull up beside them only rolling my window down.

Rosalie comes and pulls Emmett out the front seat. Tanya waits until he's all the way out before sticking her head in the window.

"Look Edward. It's Bella. She hadn't known she gave me the wrong number. How ironic is it that the club she works at is the one Rosalie dialed? And did you know Jasper owns the club?"

I shake my head. I see Alice and Bella's eyebrows rise behind her.

"Small world, isn't it?"

I nod. "Yes, it is."

"Oh Bella. Won't you come say hi?" Tanya turns around and waves for Bella to come to the car.

"I have to get going, but Alice will." Bella, eyes wide with panic and hurt, pushes Alice forward and she comes to the car nervously.

"Hey Edward. Remember me?" She's trying to sound like I haven't had cookies and muffins at her sister's house before. It's not working.

"Of course." I extend my arm for looks.

Alice takes it, but holds onto it. "Hope you're doing well... unlike some of us." Her eyes flicker to Bella's car, pulling out into the open road and speeding off.

She's talking about Bella. Has Bella been upset like me? Have I sent her into the pit of depression just like Royce? Am I just as bad as him or worse?

"I'm trying my best."

"As we all are. You should call sometime. Jasper," she uses his name to cover, "could use some talking."

"I've tried. He didn't answer though."

"Right." Her eyes wonder around her to make sure no one has caught on. "I'll talk to her-er-him about that. He's been down lately. Not picking up his phone," she explains to Tanya who has been caught eavesdropping.

"Oh, well I hope he feels better." It's fake. She wants to leave.

I roll my eyes. "See you later, Alice. Tell Jasper I'll call."

She nods and waves then leaves to go back into the club.

"Jasper didn't seem at all down in the dumps," Tanya says as I pull out of the parking lot.

"Maybe he's just acting. You know, act like I'm okay so people don't know I'm not okay," I suggest.

Tanya shrugs.

"That Bella girl seemed depressed though," Rosalie snickers. "And angry. I thought she was going to go for your head, Tanya."

"I did, too. You saw how quickly I put my sunglasses down. If she was going to claw my face off I'd rather her not touch my sunglasses. Those are worth more tips than she can get in a month." Tanya chuckles.

"I'm sure she's a fine dancer," I say, tired of hearing them gossip like teenage girls.

"She looked hot." Emmett chimes in.

"Yeah she was good." Rosalie shrugs not liking Emmett's opinion. "But that Angela girl. She was a wreck."

"I think it was all the drugs she was on..."

I block out their voices for the rest of the ride.

Tanya just showed me why Bella is the better pick for me. I never understood how girls can pick through other girls and talk about them then smile in their faces. Bella has more class than that and I see what she meant when she said, "I beat up girls like that in high school."

...

It's the day of the bachelor slash bachelorette party. We're on our way to Port Angeles and it's almost eleven.

Tanya and Rosalie are in the back discussing their Italy trip that they leave for tomorrow. Emmett is giving directions to one of his co-workers. I'm driving and trying not piss myself as I think about how to keep my eyes from even looking in Bella's direction.

I drop Tanya and Rosalie off in the back where the dressing rooms are. Bella opens the door for them, meeting my eyes before she closes it.

Fuck.

After I park the car Emmett and I walk together into the building. Jasper greets us then announces me as I enter. All of my friends and co-workers cheer for me. I shake hands with them and they congratulate me on becoming a married man.

"We have a special chair for you!" Mike, another doctor at the hospital, says, directing me to a red, cushioned chair.

He sits me down and the lights shut off. Music starts playing. It's slow, but upbeat with drums. It fits the scene in front of me.

As the lyrics start, a spotlight comes on showing one dancer walking around the pole stationed on the right side. It's Alice. She's wearing booty shorts and a tight shirt with red heels. She makes eye contact with no one but Jasper. She doesn't seem to care that everyone is cat calling and hollering at her, she just moves and smiles at her boyfriend.

_She took my heart I think she took my soul_

As those words blast from the speaker another spotlight comes on showing another woman spiraling down the pole. She has on a skirt that barely covers her ass and a shirt that makes her breasts pop out. She has on black gloves with the fingers cut out like Alice. Her heels are high but she looks like a pro as she flips her hair and slides her back down the pole until she's in the middle splits. Her hands go above her and she pulls herself back up, flipping her hair again. It's Bella.

Fuck me.

"Oh shit," Emmett says as Rosalie and other dancers make their way to the stage, gyrating and swinging their hips. He takes a seat next to me and waves dollar bills in the air. Rosalie loves his attention.

_And it's coming closer_

I hadn't noticed that Tanya wasn't out there until I see her walking slowly from the back. She, like every other girl on stage, is barely wearing clothes. She looks nice but it doesn't fit her. Her hair is spiked and teased to look big. She's wearing black tights but they're ripped. Her breasts pour out of her shirt and I can see her ass when she turns around. She's not wearing heels. She's never been a heel person.

All of the women dance together, perfectly in sync. I try and keep my eyes on Tanya, but I can't keep them from looking at Bella. Our eyes meet and lock. She smirks, telling me she knows I can't stop looking at her.

"I would like Jasper, Tyler and Emmett to all take a seat please in those chairs," Mike says loudly.

"Already there!" Emmett booms, throwing his dollar in the air as Rosalie comes to him.

Tanya comes to me, Alice goes to Jasper and Bella goes to Tyler.

I envy him as she slides down his body, wrapping her arms around his neck and straddling him.

Tanya puts my hands on her hips. She smiles. "Having fun?"

I pretend I don't hear over the music. She continues to dance and I continue to watch Bella out the corner of my eyes. Tyler is having the time of his life. He leans back in his chair and I pray the mother fucker falls backwards.

"You want to go up to the VIP room?" I hear Bella yell over the music. She did it on purpose. She wanted me to hear.

Tyler all but jumps up. Bella giggles as she pulls him upstairs. She doesn't look back until they're all the way up the stairs and Tyler is already behind the curtain. I can see her perfect smile glimmer in the flashing lights then she disappears behind the curtains like Tyler.

I feel my blood boil and I see red. I can't keep my eyes off the room now even as Tanya kisses my neck and Jasper tries to get my attention. All I see are shadows of Bella and Tyler...

...

Minutes later the music stops and the lights come back on.

Emmett groans loudly until he hears it's time for food.

The other women come off the stage and help themselves. Jasper and Alice disappear into the back for a little bit. Tanya wraps her arms around my side, looking up at me.

She's wearing make up. A lot more than she normally wears. Her eyes are black and her lips are red. Her cheeks are a light pink. She also has on silver hoop earrings. It doesn't fit her at all.

"Please never wear this again," I say, trying to joke but my frustrated tone makes me sound like an asshole.

She frowns.

"No. You look great. You just look better not wearing this." My words are true.

She smiles again, leaning up to kiss me. "Well I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. I'm so glad my dad provided me with a good life. I could never do that or wear this for a living."

"I'm sure," I say, pulling her to the food before I can let my eyes wander to the VIP room with Tyler and Bella still in it.

Everyone leaves around one. Tanya, Rosalie and Alice are back in the dressing room while Emmett, Jasper and I clean up some.

I try my best not to worry about that room, but it doesn't work. I lose it all when I hear Bella squeal, giggle and moan all in one.

"That's it," I murmur.

Adrenaline and jealously pump in me as I take off running up the stairs. Emmett and Jasper call after me, but I don't stop. I skip some of the stairs to get there faster. I all but rip the curtain off of the holders, moving them away so I can see.

Bella is on top of a shirtless Tyler. There about two inches too close for my liking. I can hear Emmett and Jasper coming upstairs, but the thing that makes me move is the conversation in front of me.

"Tell me you want me," Bella says to Tyler, staring directly at me.

My chest hurts as it beats faster and my breaths shorten.

"I want you." Tyler tells her.

Bella's eyes roll as Tyler says my words to her.

I growl and leap at Tyler. I pull him off of her, throwing him at the wall. He crashes into a chair, groaning when he hits the floor.

"Edward!" Bella screams, standing up.

I ignore her, jumping at Tyler again. I hit him twice in the mouth before he pushes me over and starts hitting me back. I kick him and he gets off of me. When I'm back on my feet I punch him again.

I feel Emmett's arms around me. I struggle against them, but I can't get past him. Jasper calms Tyler down, too.

"What the fuck was that?" Emmett asks low enough for only us to hear..

I catch Bella walking outside and out the door. Somehow I manage to get loose of Emmett. I take off running again. I follow her outside and around the corner.

"Bella!" I call after her.

She stops, turns around and runs back to me. She pushes me, slaps and punches me. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Why would you do that!"

"I-I don't know!" I shout back because I don't. "He was touching you and you were-"

"I was working asshole. How dare you become all protective psycho over me now. I just had to watch your fiance give you a fucking lap dance while trying not to pull her hair. If I could control my jealously why couldn't you?"

I wipe my mouth that's oozing blood and run my other hand through my hair.

My adrenaline is gone and I'm realizing what just happened.

"Bella." I move forward.

"Don't." She snaps and I step backward. "Don't choose now to be jealous Edward. Not now. Don't choose now to protect me or love me or whatever it is the hell that you're trying to do. I take care of myself. I'm nobody's little girl."

She steps backward then turns to walk away. She pulls her over sized flannel shirt around her and opens her car door.

"Bella, I'm sorry!" I yell.

She looks at me in disbelief and her shoulders go upwards as if she scoffed. She shakes her head. "It's not enough, Edward. It's too late for that shit now. Why don't you just fuck off?"

I don't say anything. I just watch as she gets in her car and drives off.

* * *

><p>Let me know what you think? I'm going to hide in a corner somewhere while you all chase after me.<p>

Please thank Emx1490 for giving me that idea about no Tanya/Edward sex (: I told you I take suggestions!

Don't forget! **IMPORTANT SONG CHAPTER: **Closer by Kings of Leon LISTEN! http:/ youtu (dot) be /XatzX6WQ2ec

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

I'm super glad you all liked jealous Edward and tough Bella. Yes, we all know Edward is an idiot. He knows too!

This chapter is Bella's POV for chapter 14 but it's very important. A lot of little things in here you will see in the future chapters.

Also, this story has been put on a poll for Fic of the Week. It would mean a lot if you voted for me. Just go to www(dot)tehlemonadestand(dot) blogspot(dot) com and on the side bar you can vote. There's SO many great, amazing stories up there so vote for them too! TWO DAYS LEFT.

Let me know if you vote!

Thanks everyone for reviewing, reading & putting me on your alerts. Much love!

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 15<p>

BPOV

I'm running on no sleep - literally running to Alice's front door and ignoring the urge to go back home to sleep.

After the fight with Edward I couldn't go home. I didn't want to be alone in my apartment. I couldn't be alone in my apartment.

It has been months and I have washed my sheets over a thousand times but Edward's scent still lingers in my room. If it was any other night I wouldn't have a problem with it. I usually have no problems falling asleep with his aroma on my pillows. I actually sleep better. Tonight I don't think I could handle it. Images of the night Edward and I shared in my room would flood into my head and upset me more.

I don't know what happened. I just snapped, though I'm more than sure I deserved to. How could he simply shrug and say "I guess" to him being able to leave Tanya earlier? It infuriated me. Sure I may have said I don't expect him to leave her right away and he could take his time to decide between us, but that was before we shared the most powerful words that could come out of our mouths.

When I love you left both of our mouths, we became so much more than a thing that shouldn't be happening. It wasn't just a simple fuck to get each other off and leave each other the next morning anymore. It became love... an intense love.

No matter how much he says he doesn't, I know he still loves Tanya. You don't just stop loving someone out of the blue. You can't just erase someone who has a big impact on your life like that. Plus he's not the type to just stop loving someone he's had sexual intercourse with for three years. He wouldn't have proposed to her if he didn't have even an ounce of love for her. He wouldn't be stalling if he didn't feel anything for her.

I don't blame him. I know how it is. I still love Royce, unfortunately, though I would deny it like hell if someone asked me. Even if I still love him, I was never in love with him just like Edward has never been and will never be in love with Tanya.

"Alice!" I call to her after using the extra key she gave me.

"In the kitchen," she says.

I use the wall to keep me from falling over as I make my way to her kitchen. It feels like forever before I get there.

"You look like hell," Alice says, cleaning a glass and looking at me from head to toe.

"Where's Jasper?" I ask quickly. I don't feel like going into details as to why I look like hell. I already know I look like hell. I'm in the same clothes I was in yesterday. My hairs a mess and I haven't taken a shower let alone brushed my teeth.

"In the basement. Are you okay?" She sets the glass down and picks up another one.

I don't answer her. Instead, I walk towards the door that will lead to Jasper. I'm almost to the door when Alice grabs my wrist and spins me around. I try and pull away from her, but her grip only tightens. I try to tug away from her a couple more times before I sigh in defeat.

"Let me go, Alice," I plead. My voice cracks and my hands are shaking. I'm trying not to cry, but as Alice locks eyes with me in search of what's wrong, I can't help but to let one tear fall then another.

"Don't shut me out, B," she says in a calm tone. "Not again. I know this is about Edward. You look just like you did that first time you and Royce fought."

I shudder at the sound of both of their names.

"I refuse to let you hide your feelings again. It hurts me when I see you're hurt, but it kills me when I don't know why."

"Alice." My voice is quiet as I say her name and remember her crying with me and for me when Royce hurt me as bad as he did.

She's always been a nosey bitch. She knew more about a person then they knew about themselves. She could tell me everything I needed to know about me. That was until I started dating Royce. I shut her out of my brain quicker than Royce's hand connected with my face.

"I will not let you go downstairs unless you promise to tell me what's going on," she tells me sternly.

I sigh in defeat. "Okay."

She nods but doesn't let go of my arm.

"Can we go sit somewhere?" I ask. Not sleeping is catching up with me.

She nods again, stepping in front of me, and opens the door then leads me down the steps. Jasper is sitting in his chair with his feet up, watching TV and drinking a beer.

"Jazz," Alice calls out before taking the remote and pressing the power button.

"What the-" He sits up and looks back at us. He frowns and whines, "Babe!"

"Shut up. Bella's been looking for you, but she's not allowed to talk to you until she tells me something. I'm sure she wants to tell you anyway. Am I correct?" She looks at me.

I nod and go for the couch. I try my hardest not to lay my head against the pillow, but I do anyways and soon Alice's voice is nothing but a soft murmur and I can only see black.

...

"Bella..." the voice drags out my name. I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, shaking me slightly. "Isabella Marie..." it calls again.

My eyes slowly flutter open and I sit up, letting a red blanket fall on the floor. I stare at it in confusion and yawn.

"I brought this for you," Alice says, shoving a glass of water in my face.

I stretch before I take it. I hadn't noticed how thirsty I was until I'm actually drinking. I haven't eaten or drank anything since...

"What time is it?" I ask, looking around for a clock.

"Almost eight." She sighs. "You've been asleep all day."

Had I?

"I should get home." I try to get up but she grabs my arm, pulling me back down.

I quickly remember earlier this morning and realize I won't be going anywhere until I explain why I came to her in the state I was in.

"I guess I have some explaining to do," I say in the kiddy voice we used to use when we knew we had done something wrong.

She nods, trying not to smile in the process. "Jasper is making you grilled cheese though. You said you wanted to tell him what's wrong earlier, too."

As she says that, Jasper opens the door and walks down the steps holding a tray with a plate of grilled cheese and a cup of apple juice. He's smiling proudly to himself while taking cautious steps.

"Grilled cheese sandwich and apple juice for Miss Swan," he says, sitting the tray on my lap and kissing my cheek.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He pulls a chair up next to me then straddles it. "You had us scared for a minute. Ali wanted to call an ambulance at first. We thought you passed out or something."

I take a bite of my sandwich, wondering why they didn't.

Alice snorts. "You talk in your sleep."

I roll my eyes and swallow. "What did I say?"

"We don't know!" Jasper burst into laughter, clutching his sides. "It was gibberish."

"In all honesty, it sounded like a different language," Alice says, rolling her eyes at Jasper.

I feel my cheeks flush and take a sip of my apple juice.

"When's the last time you slept?"

I shake my head and set the cup down. "I haven't slept in over twenty four hours."

"And why not?"

I sigh, bracing myself to tell her what happened last night. I tell them about surprising him at work and him taking me to the meadow, skipping the sex part though I'm sure they knew anyways. I have to take another deep breath before telling them about the party Jasper booked unknowingly, the wedding change, his response to leaving Tanya earlier, and my reaction to it.

Alice looks livid with a hint of pride in her eyes by time I'm finished Jasper looks confused.

"So you mean to tell me Rosalie is Edward's sister in law, also Emmett's wife that I was talking to when I booked that party?" he asks, trying to understand his role in this fuckery.

I nod.

"Shit." He runs his hands through my hair. "Bella, I didn't know it was for Edward and Tanya. You have to believe me. Rosalie and Emmett have come in before and when she said party all night and a lot of money, all the other details just kind of flew out the window. I can cancel if you want me to or you don't have to be there."

"It's okay Jasper. It's a done deal now and that would be too much explaining so I guess I'll sit this one out." I give him my best smile.

Alice takes my hand in hers and squeezes. "I'm proud of you. You know that right?"

I shrug. "Sure."

"I feel like I don't say it enough. I am though. You stood up for yourself. Took a charge and didn't let him walk all over you. It takes an idiot to lose something good to realize what he's missing. It won't be long before he's calling you again. So I have an idea." A smirk forms on her face and if she's thinking what I'm thinking then I am so for it. "Why not play Edward's own game?"

Jasper's eyebrows furrow and he raises his hand like a school boy. "Confusion."

Alice rolls her eye. "Instead of canceling or letting Bella sit this one out, why don't we let her be one of the main dancers. It's already going to be hard for Edward to keep his eyes off of you. You're fucking sexy in your outfits. You won't pay him any attention because you'll be too busy dancing with someone else. When the time is right you'll take him upstairs and Edward will be left with Tanya and missing you."

I smile, agreeing.

I always have to see him and Tanya together. So why not let him see me with someone else.

"Be careful with that. Jealously doesn't always make things better," Jasper says.

I shrug. "What's the worst that can happen?"

...

"Okay everyone. There's people coming today for the bachelor slash bachelorette party that we'll be performing at. I know we've never done something this big before so I need you to listen to me and shut up when I ask. The girls coming today, I'm more than sure, have had no dancing experience. Therefore, no laughing, giggling or comments about them not being able to pick up steps like us or not having rhythm."

I snort at the thought of Tanya not being able to keep up with Alice's _simple_ steps and having two left feet. Alice narrows her eyes at me with one eyebrow raised. She's silently telling me to remember what we talked about earlier. She gave me a small lesson on what I should and shouldn't do when Tanya is right in front of me.

I should give her an"I got your man and you can't do anything about it" smile, but I shouldn't roll my eyes too much, give her mean looks or show my irritation with her presence.

I should dance my ass off so she knows that stripping is more than just taking your clothes off but I shouldn't trip her, pull her hair or slap her.

I should be cocky and confident but not a jealous, immature bitch.

I think I can handle that... no promises though.

"Angela. Get your shit together please," Alice says before turning on her heels and going to the counter where Jasper is.

I follow after her while the other girls talk amongst themselves.

Alice is leaning on the counter when I get to her. She and Jasper are trying to whisper, but when I hear Angela's name I know what they're talking about.

"We can't fire her. She's one the best dancers and if you plan on going back to school then we need her," Jasper tries to reason with Alice but she isn't having it.

She shakes her head. "She only dances the way she does because she's high almost every time she's here. What happened to keeping this a drug free environment?"

Jasper sighs. "I'll talk to her. Bella do you still have those brochures you tried to give Charlie?"

I nod. "I never throw them away, but do you really think Angela is going to go?"

"If she wants to keep this job she's going to have to," Alice says, storming off and out the door.

She's right. This job is all Angela can get right now. She didn't graduate high school or get her GED. She pretty much lives on the streets and has no support system but us. Jasper has changed the locks numerous of times because Angela found a way to break in so she could have a roof over her head.

Angela is the youngest of us all at twenty. She's beautiful, when she's not high off her ass. Her hair is dark brown and long. Her eyes are a leafy green. Her olive toned skin is perfect, until you get to the small bruises caused by her addiction. Her smile is heart warming and you can't tell she has the problems she has.

No one knows exactly why she has the problems she has or had. No one knows much about her in general. Just that her boyfriend of three months is a drug dealer and the reason she's hooked on LSD.

"You ready?" Jasper asks, changing the subject.

I've been dreading this day and the day of the party since I found out they'd be happening. My mind always wonders and I end up thinking of Edward's reaction to me and Tanya in the same room with hardly any clothes on.

What if this jealous thing doesn't work?

What if his eyes stay on Tanya all night because he does love her more than he loves me?

I can't back out now though. I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.

Alice once told me and the other dancers, "If you walk in the room thinking you're better than everyone then you'll be better than everyone".

I know I'm better than Tanya. Now, I just have to show it.

I sigh, turning my attention back to the door. "I guess I have to be."

Alice is holding the door for Tanya who's in Victoria Secret's yoga pants and a tank top. She has sunglasses on the top of her head and is carrying a giant Coach purse. Next to her I assume is Rosalie. She's gorgeous. Tall and blond with a beautiful body. She, like Tanya, is wearing yoga pants and a tank top. Though she, unlike Tanya, seems like she could keep up.

"Okay ladies," Alice calls everyone in.

"No fighting." Jasper winks and I roll my eyes then walk to where Alice is.

"This is Tanya Denali and Rosalie Cullen. Tanya will be getting married soon and has chosen us to help her with her bacherolette party," Alice explains to everyone. She's trying to smile but I can see past it. She's already annoyed.

Tanya clears her throat, keeping Alice from going on. She steps up, lifting her sunglasses and smiling wide. "It's actually a bachelor slash bachelorette party. I thought it'd be great to have it together and I could put on a show for him which is where you all come in."

I can't help but to roll my eyes at her lie. She knows the only reason it's two parties in one because she's scared of what "one of us" will do with her "fiancé".

I could tell her.

I snort, earning a disapproving look from Alice.

"Okay, so let's get started," I step up.

"Bella, I didn't know you worked here. Is this the place you were trying to give me the number to?" Her voice is nasally and annoying.

"Oh yeah. I must have given you the wrong number or something. Jasper changes the number around here often." I lie with a smile just as big and fake as hers.

"Must have."

With that Alice pulls us away and into our spots. Alice will be the first to dance on the pole then me. Rosalie will walk down the middle and dance with the other dancers then Tanya will walk down the middle to where Edward will be sitting.

I was right when I said Rosalie looked fit to keep up with our steps and Tanya didn't. It's easy for Rosalie to pick up Alice's routine. She looks almost perfect swaying her hips and keeps her rhythm. Tanya, however, does not.

She has no rhythm, at all. I have to try my hardest not to laugh when she steps on her own feet or runs into Angela who drunkenly tells her to fuck off, making her scream and run to Rosalie who is next to me. I opt out of tripping her, but I can't stop myself from sending her death glares.

We finish an hour later. I am more than ready to get out of there. I quickly go to the back room to get my things and head for the door. As soon as I step out I wish I had gone out the back door because Tanya, Rosalie, Alice, and one of the other dancers, Jessica, are standing around talking.

"Oh Bella. You are a marvelous dancer," Tanya says excitedly. "All of you are. I could never do what you do."

"I noticed," I mutter too low for her to hear and give her a small smile. "Thank you."

"Oh look, the guys are here," Rosalie says, clapping her hands together and all but skipping to Edward's car.

"You should come say hello to Edward," Tanya says before following after Rosalie.

Rosalie pulls Emmett out who gives Alice and I a big grin then gets in the back. I swear Rosalie tackled him and is now dry humping him.

My attention goes back to Tanya who is now leaning in the window and talking to Edward. Whatever she says to him makes him shake his head and look at me and Alice. My eyebrow rises and out the corner of my eye I can see Alice's has done the same.

"Oh Bella. Won't you come say hi?" Tanya begs again, waving her arm for me to come forward.

Fuck.

I think of a way to get out of this because there is no way I can say hi to Edward and act like nothing is going on.

Alice.

I put my hand on Alice's back and push her forward. "I have to get going, but Alice will."

I quickly run to my car, get in and speed off. I know Alice will give me shit for this later but I'll take it like the scared bitch I just was.

...

I watch as the other girls get ready. For them, this night is like any other night. They paint their faces and push up their boobs to make them look bigger than they really are. Angela is in her corner, getting high and getting dressed at the same time.

"Bella. That's Rosalie and Tanya. Will you get that?" Alice says, gesturing to the back door that was just knocked on.

"What?" I'm taken back. "Why me?"

She smiles to herself. "Punishment."

I roll my eyes and get up. She's still not very happy about me throwing her under the bus when I didn't want to face Edward. What makes her think I want to do this now?

I swing the door as hard as I can hoping I hit Tanya, but she's standing too far back.

"Welcome," I say with a fake smile.

Before I close the door I look up, locking eyes with Edward. He looks gorgeous. His eyes sparkle even in the night. His face is shaved and his skin looks smooth. His hair is a mess just how I like it.

I want to run to him. Hug him. Kiss him. Run my fingers through his hair. Tell him how much I miss him. I don't though. Instead, I close the door and walk back inside.

Alice and Jessica do Rosalie and Tanya's makeup. I'm forced to put their outfits together. I find the skankiest skirt, shirt and bra For Tanya. It's cute outfit, but she won't look it's full potential without the heels she's choosing not to wear.

Her make up looks good which isn't surprising since Alice did it but it's not something she should wear daily.

"Okay ladies. Are we ready?"

The girls cheer and we follow Alice to the back stage. Alice steps up to her pole and I step up to mine. The music starts up I can see Edward in the chair but he can't see me. I smile to myself as I watch him rubs his hands on his jeans.

Alice dances first. Her eyes stay on Jasper's. She ignores the cat calling and hollering from the other guys in the room. Jasper seems pleased and proud to say she's his girl.

_She took my heart I think she took my soul_

I start to move my body, making sure my hair covers my face so he can't see me. I climb up the pole then spiral down, flipping my hair and falling into the middle splits. I sit up and pull myself back, flipping my hair one last time. I look up and let Edward see who I am. Our eyes meet and I know that it's going to be hard for him to keep from looking at me.

I hear Emmett curse as Rosalie comes down the middle. She smiles at the attention. She looks great if I do say so myself.

_And it's coming closer_

Tanya walks down the middle and Edward's attention goes to her but doesn't stay for too long as we all dance together.

"I would like Jasper, Tyler and Emmett to all take a seat in those chairs!" Someone says loudly over the music.

"Already there!" Emmett shouts, throwing his dollar up as Rosalie comes to him.

I make my way to Tyler, smiling and twirling my hair. He leans back, cockily and I can already tell he'll be enjoying this more than I will.

I do my best not to gag as he groans when I slide down his body. He puts his hands on my hips, guiding me in the way he wants me to dance on him. They're rough and I don't like it but I deal with it because the look on Edward's face is priceless.

I smirk ready to put Alice's plan to action. I lean over, putting my lips to Tyler's ear. "You want to go up to the VIP room?" I say it loud enough for Edward to hear.

Judging by his expression he heard it.

Tyler all but jumps up. I can't help but giggle at him acting like the teenage boys I used to go to school with. I keep his hand in mine as I lead him upstairs. I take a risk and look back at where the rest of the party is. I hold the curtain so Tyler can go in, smiling at Edward.

"You coming?" Tyler asks me.

I only nod and step in.

Tyler lies back on the pillows and blanket on the floor. I walk to him and continue my lap dance as the music plays downstairs. I find myself rolling my eyes or trying not to laugh when he tries to talk dirty. I don't stop when the music stops. I don't pay any mind when they cheer and laugh. I do stop when I can hear people saying goodbye.

I think I've fucked with Edward's feelings enough for one night though it's nothing compared to how bad he's fucked with mine.

"Wait," Tyler says, catching my arm when I try to get up. "I'll pay you extra if you continue. Please."

I giggle at his puppy dog face and shrug. "Okay."

Extra money won't hurt.

I get on top of him again. We're basically dry humping and while it's fun, it's also quite annoying. He's back to the dirty talking and is actually moaning.

Running my hands over his back I feel his shirt sticking to his back.

"You should take this off," I suggest, pulling the hem of his shirt. He sits up and lets me pull the rest off.

I'm not interested in Tyler, at all. He's cute, but he could never be more than just my client. That doesn't mean I can't stare at his amazing abs. He is fit.

"Like what you see?"

"I've seen better." I giggle.

"Right," he says.

I laugh, flipping us around so he's on top.

"What about the no physical contact rule," he asks.

I snort. "Screw it. No one follows that rule anyways."

It's a lie. Everyone follows that rule. They sit there with their arms to their sides, struggling to keep their hands to the side while being danced on. They have no choice unless they want Jasper to kick their asses.

"Edward!" I hear Emmett's voice and someone running up the stairs.

I know it's him coming and I can't help but smile. I pull Tyler down closer to me as Edward pulls the curtains back and whisper loudly.

"Tell me you want me," I say words I once used with Edward.

"I want you," Tyler says, but all I hear Edward's velvet voice.

My eyes roll and stay closed but open quickly when I can't feel the weight of Tyler and I hear a loud crash.

"Edward!" I scream, standing up.

He ignores me and jumps back on Tyler, hitting him in the mouth. Tyler pushes Edward over him and starts hitting back. Edward gets back on his feet and hits him one last time.

I stand with my hand over my mouth as I watch Emmett come in and pull Edward back. Jasper helps Tyler up and tells him to go downstairs. Jasper grabs for my arm, but I jerk away and leave.

I all but run out of the room. I quickly go to the back room, grab my stuff and leave before Alice, Rosalie or Tanya can ask questions. I hear Alice call after me, but I don't want to stop.

What the fuck just happened?

"Bella!" Edward calls after her.

I should keep walking, but something in my head doesn't let me. I stop, turn around and run back to him. I push his chest, slap his face and punch his body. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Why would you do that!"

"I-I don't know!" he shouts. "He was touching you and you were-"

No shit Sherlock. "I was working asshole. How dare you become all protective psycho over me now. I just had to watch your fiancé give you a fucking lap dance while trying not to pull her hair. If I could control my jealously why couldn't you?"

"Bella." He moves forward.

"Don't," I snap and he steps backward. "Don't choose now to be jealous Edward. Not now. Don't choose now to protect me or love me or whatever it is the hell that you're trying to do. I take care of myself. I'm nobody's little girl."

I take a step back then turn to walk away. I pull my over sized flannel shirt around me and opens my car door.

"Bella, I'm sorry!" he yells.

Is he serious?

I scoff, throwing my arms up and shaking my head. "It's not enough, Edward. It's too late for that shit now. Why don't you just fuck off?"

He doesn't say anything so I get in my car and drive off.

I keep myself from crying until I get to my apartment. I cut the engine off, but don't get out. I try to keep myself from breaking down, but it doesn't work. I throw my arms around, hitting the passenger's seat and steering wheel. I hit the horn and scream, finally letting tears spring from my eyes.

I am embarrassed of what just happened.

I am ashamed to have gotten involved with a man like him.

But most of all, I am hurt.

* * *

><p>Okay, there's Bella's POV.<p>

It was ALL planned. So is Edward still an asshole? Lol.

Let me know what you think.

Special thanks to _story a day_ for giving me the idea of Bella making Edward jealous!

**Don't forget!** this story has been put on a poll for Fic of the Week. It would mean a lot if you voted for me. Just go to www(dot)tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com and on the side bar you can vote. There's SO many great, amazing stories up there so vote for them too! TWO DAYS LEFT.

& Let me know if you do vote :D

Next is the chapter you've all been waiting for! I'm excited, are you? I'll send you a teaser to get you even more excited.

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

I have writer's block so I thought I'd update (:

So here's the chapter everyone's been waiting for. It's THE chapter as some of you put it, lol.

Thanks for reading, reviewing & putting me on your alerts. Special thanks to those who voted for me on that poll. It was awesome to be on there with the tother amazing stories.

Oh! I forgot to tell you Angela, from the last chapter, is important.

Ok, I'm done talking.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

EPOV

"You want to tell me what that was about?" Tanya asks, slamming our front door behind her.

We left as soon as Tanya, Emmett and Rosalie walked outside all wondering the same question.

What the fuck happened?

I answered them with silence and running to my car. Emmett drove him and Rosalie home then Tanya drove us home. I didn't say a word the entire ride. I sat there, clenching and unclenching my fist while Tanya went on about the make up I'll have to wear if my busted lip hasn't heeled by the wedding, what will happen if Tyler plans to press charges and ruining this night. She thinks being upset about those three things is going to make me apologize and feel bad about hitting Tyler.

I should tell her why I hit Tyler and give her something to really be upset about.

I don't know what I'm feeling to be honest. I think it's a mixture of guilt about the way I've made Bella feel over the past few weeks, annoyance at Tanya and her never ending bitch fits, anger for the way Tyler was touching Bella and how she let him, and stupidity for acting on it.

I don't blame Bella for telling me to fuck off.

I deserve it.

But if it did anything other than make me feel like a complete jackass it made me realize that I need her. Watching her walk away and knowing that I can lose her forever made something click inside of me.

I have to end things with Tanya.

Tonight.

"Edward!" Tanya screams after I don't answer her.

I don't say anything. Her voice and all around presence is pissing me off. She thinks she knows what I'm feeling right now, but she doesn't have a clue.

I throw my jacket on the coat hanger and book it up the stairs. I hear her scream in frustration and follow after me. I all but rip my shirt off as I step into our bathroom, trying to block out her voice as she continues to yell.

I slam the bathroom door when she enters our room. She bangs on the door, still screaming and cursing my name. I close my eyes and put my hands on the counter. I want to get my thoughts together before I do this.

Another bang on the door causes me to open my eyes and stare at myself in the mirror.

I look like hell.

My hair is a mess and sticks to my sweaty face. My lip is busted and larger than normal. My eyes and cheekbones are red. I won't be surprised if I have a black eye in the morning. I didn't think Tyler could put up a good fight, then again I wasn't thinking much at all.

"Edward. Talk to me. Please," Tanya begs on the other side of the door.

I sigh. "There's nothing to talk about."

"That's bullshit, Edward." She scoffs. "You just got into a fight. I know you. You've never been the one to fight."

Frustrated, I swing the door open. "You don't know shit about me."

She flinches at my words, but remains composed. She stands tall, shoulders back and chest out in a non-seducing kind of way. I still stand over her, but she doesn't back down.

"I know more than you think." She challenges.

I snort. "Like what?"

"Like something is really wrong and you're not talking to me about it." Her voice cracks in desperation.

I shake my head. "You want me to talk? You want me to tell you how I'm feeling? You want me to give you a reason as to why I hit Tyler tonight?"

She continues to stand tall, but makes the mistake by biting her lip. She nods. "Please help me understand what's going on through your head. You're acting like a child and we're getting too close to the wedding for you to be like this."

I snort, eyebrow rising. "Like what? Like I don't want to be with you? Because I don't, Tanya. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sorry but I don't want to be married to you. I don't want a life with you. I'm pretty sure I never have, but it took me a whole lot to finally see that."

Realization hits me two seconds later. I hadn't meant for it to come out like that, but it did and it feels like Eleazar Denali's mansion has been lifted off my shoulders.

I feel better now that it's been finally said. I'm almost proud of myself.

Better late than never.

I watch as Tanya's face contorts into confusion, understanding and pain. Her lips open like she wants to say something, but end up closing. She looks everywhere but my eyes and she puts one hand over her chest. She starts shaking her head and covers her mouth when a small sob escapes her.

My nails dig into my palm as I try to keep my breaths even. The silence kills me though and my heart pounds in my chest.

"Say something please," I say, becoming anxious for a reaction from her.

Her eyes finally meet mine and she takes her hand slowly away from her mouth. "I'm-I'm pregnant, Edward."

It's my turn to stand their shell shocked. My mouth opens and closes. My eyebrow furrows and my head shakes.

She can't be pregnant. We always use condoms and she doesn't even want to be pregnant. She told me.

"H-how?" I ask disbelief, leaning against the door frame so I don't fall over.

"How else Edward? We had sex before, believe it or not. Condoms don't always work, Doctor." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "You don't have to want to be with me, but you need to be with me... for the baby's sake."

She reaches for my hand and puts it over her stomach. I don't know how I hadn't noticed her small bump before. My hand on her stomach doesn't feel right though.

I pull away, shaking my head. "I don't want to marry you, Tanya. I'll be there for the baby, but I'm not going to marry you."

She sighs and her lip twitches into a small smile as she steps forward. "I didn't want to do this the hard way. For some reason I had a feeling that you'd say you didn't want to be with me tonight."

She isn't upset anymore. She's confident. She has something on me and is about to use it.

"You have no choice."

"What are you talking about? Yes I do."

"I wasn't lying when I said I know you. I know you've always wanted a perfect family. I know you're not going to let me have your kid and not be married to me. You can't. Not after being adopted."

She's right. I've always wanted to give my children what I never had. A biological mother, a biological father and biological siblings. Don't get me wrong. Esme, Emmett and even Carlisle are wonderful to have in my life, but I've just never wanted that for my own family.

"Don't be spiteful and use that against me. I don't want that with you."

"You don't have to want." She reaches her arm up to cup my face. "While I'm on this trip in Italy, I want you to think long and hard about what you're going to choose. Marry me or don't marry and allow me to sue the fuck out of you."

"What?" I jerk away from her. "You can't do that."

Her eyebrow rises and her arm falls. "Do you remember who my father is? He can and will make yours and your family's life a living hell if you fuck this up for me. You will lose your job and your parents will lose their money, house and everything they own. He can belittle your names like this." She snaps her fingers.

If she's lying, I can't tell. There isn't anything that tells me what she's saying is the truth. She's never been a liar either.

"I'm going to Rose's." She turns on her heels and walks away. "Think hard."

Running my hands through my hair and down my face I groan.

...

"What do you mean she's pregnant?" Emmett says loudly then looks around to see if he attracted attention. He didn't, but that doesn't stop Rosalie from scowling at him. He rolls his eyes at her and leans in closer to me. "How did that even happen?"

"I think you know very well how it happened."

Emmett rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but you haven't had sex with her in a _long_ time."

Rosalie stiffens. She leans down, letting her blond hair become a curtain between her, with her hand on head and a spoon in the other while she mixes her coffee. Her nose is almost touching her cup. She sinks lower and lower as Emmett obliviously goes on about Tanya being pregnant.

"You're going to be snorting coffee if your nose goes any deeper in that cup, Rose," I call her out. Her eyes snap up and she glares at me. I roll my eyes, not in the mood for her bitch attitude. "Did you know Tanya was pregnant before just now?"

She sits up quickly, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Of course I did. I'm her best friend."

My eyebrow rises. "How long have you known?"

She shrugs. "Since we went to Olympia."

Emmett looks at her. "But you told me-"

"I know what I told you and she couldn't do it because they told her she's pregnant." She snaps.

My arms cross over my chest and my eyebrow rises at how quickly she was to defend that.

"I need to pee," she says, pushing her chair back quickly and walking to the bathroom.

"Dude," Emmett says two seconds later. "If Tanya's pregnant then you're really not going to be able to leave her."

I shake my head. "I still plan to. I'm not going to stay in a relationship I don't want to be in. I told her last night."

"You told her?"

I nod. "I told her I don't want to marry her and I don't want to be with her. I will take care of my child, but not under the same roof."

His mouth is open in shock. "I can't believe it. How'd she take it?"

I think back to last night and shrug. I don't even want to remember that night.

"But I thought you wanted your kids to have an awesome family unlike we had."

I shrug. "What good would it do if I'm around the mother when I don't want to be?"

He shrugs. "And Tanya's okay with that?"

I sigh because even though I didn't want to bring it up, it came up. I quickly tell Emmett about Tanya's reaction and her threat. By the end, he looks pissed.

"I can check with someone to see if that's true or not."

"Please. I feel she's bluffing, but I can't be sure with her. I mean her father is so rich he probably does have that power."

He picks up his phone, types in a few letters and sets it down. He makes a face and shrugs. "I don't know brother, but something about this isn't right. There's missing pieces."

My thoughts go back to Rosalie who's been in the bathroom longer than usual.

I've known Rosalie long enough to understand her body language like Emmett understands her vagina. She's knows something but won't say... or she can't say it.

There's something she isn't telling us.

...

"Hello?" Jasper asks in his phone.

"Jasper. It's Edward."

I hear him sigh. "You have five seconds to give me an explanation for the other night."

It's been three days since the bachelor slash bachelorette party. Tanya left on her trip last night and I was more than happy to send her off to Italy. I all but pushed her onto the airplane myself. I was sick of her holding what choices I had over my head. I'm a grown man and I'm not about to let her scare me into something I don't want to do.

"I'm so sorry, man." I planned to have a better apology than that, but it's all my brain will let me say. "I wasn't thinking. I just saw Bella with him and I acted on it. I know I had no right, but I couldn't help it. I love her and I-"

"I understand that." He laughs weakly. "I know you heard about me kicking some guys ass for Alice, but you're right. You didn't have a right. You may love her, but you were Tanya's fiancé that night, not Bella's sugar daddy or whatever the hell you are to her. I don't even think you deserve her anymore. You really deserve to rot with that Tanya chick."

I stay silent because he's right. I don't deserve Bella. I never have.

"Alice is pissed at you, by the way. She wants me to kick your ass because you hurt Bella. I mean, Bella may be a hardass and her smile may be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, but that doesn't mean I don't know when she's faking it all. But, I like you and understand too much to come kick your ass."

I snort. "Uh, thanks."

"Alright. Now don't be surprised if she randomly comes to your house and roughs you up a little. I can't stop her from that. You should be mad at her too though. They kind of set you up."

"No. I have no one to blame but myself. I really am sorry."

He sighs. "I know. You kept me from having to beat Tyler's ass though. He did break the no physical contact rule. But next time you get into a fight, can you at least make sure you don't throw the guy into my thousand dollar stereo?"

I slap my palm against my forehead. "Shit man. I'll pay for whatever I did. It's the least I can do."

"We'll talk about it."

"You're too nice to me," I tell him because he is.

No one has ever been this lenient with me besides him and I don't understand why. It's all my fault he's in this mess. If I hadn't used his name to lie to Tanya he would have never been brought up.

"I believe that you are just a guy who took a wrong turn and is on the wrong track. You're confused and I'm trying to help you get on the right track. You may not deserve either one of those ladies, but you deserve not to perish in the pit of darkness you'll be in if this isn't resolved the right way. You may be a coward and an idiot for basically drilling your own hole in this unfortunate mess, but you just need some guidance and tougher balls. I may not think you deserve Bella, but I also believe in fate. If fate means you're with her after all of this, then so be it. I think you could be good for her... someday. Besides, somebody has to be on your side and right now it looks like I'm the only one."

...

Since Tanya has been gone I've have been thinking a lot about what she said. Not whether or not I'm going to stay with her and the baby, but how I'm going to work around the consequences if I don't. Emmett still hasn't said whether what she said is true or not. I'm praying that it's not.

Having the quiet house to myself gives me a lot of time to think. I could go to work to keep my mind busy, but I can't find myself willing to get up and go. I don't want to face anyone at the hospital. I don't want to face anyone in the state of Washington.

You can add ashamed and pathetic to the list of things I am.

It's two in the morning and I'm nowhere close to tired. I've been watching movies in my sweats and socks all day, only getting up when I get hungry or have to pee. It's been an eventful day if you ask me.

I'm just about to turn this scary movie, that isn't really scary at all off, when my phone buzzes. Unlike the thriller movie I was just watching it makes me jump and when I see her name it makes my heart stop beating.

I struggle to pick up my phone with my shaking hands and press the button to answer.

"Bella?"

She doesn't say anything, but there's shuffling around, beeping and a voice in the distance which leads me to believe that it was just a butt dial and that I should hang up before I continue to get my hopes up.

"Bella..." I try one last time.

"Edward!" The urgency in her voice makes me jump up.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but it's Charlie." She sobs. "He had a stroke and I'm at the hospital. The doctors are talking to me, but I have no idea what they're saying. I would have called Alice or Jasper, but they're out of town. I don't have anyone else and-"

"I'll be right there," I tell her. "What hospital are you at and where?"

"Port Angeles Hospital. Intensive Care Unit waiting room. They'll be moving him in the morning to Seattle Hospital."

"Okay. I'll be there soon."

"Okay," she says, seeming a bit calmer than before. "Edward."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

And with that we hang up. I rush upstairs to put on jeans and t-shirt, come back down, grab my keys, and run to my car.

Maybe Jasper is right. If fate is Bella and I together, then so be it.

* * *

><p>I'm going to go hide now...<p>

Let me know what you think.

Good guess to those who guessed Edward was going to tell Tanya how he really feels. Betcha didn't think she was going to say that.

Remember, Angela is important, as is Rosalie.

Poor Charlie, right?

The prologue chapter is coming up. Chapter 17 will be out as soon as my beta sends it back to me. I'm also on the east coast where this badass hurricane is coming to so as long as I still have power by then I'll update. If you're on the east coast please be safe!

School starts in two week. I'm going to be a senior! So excited! Actually, I'm not, I can't wait to graduate, lol

Ok, bye now.

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Sorry for how crazy late this is. Both my beta and I are super busy. She's a teacher and had her first week of school and I'm trying to get ready for school. If you follow me on twitter then you may have seem my many rants about being oober scared of going, graduating and becoming an adult, lol

Anyways, thanks for your patience. Much love!

Thanks for reading, reviewing and putting me on your alerts!

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 17<p>

EPOV

It usually takes me an hour to get to Port Angeles but with a heavy foot, Bella on my mind and no traffic or police hiding in the bushes, I make it there in thirty minutes.

Though Port Angeles is bigger and different than Forks Hospital, it isn't hard to find the waiting room Bella said she'd be in. I get scowled at by a security officer for running so I try my best to walk quickly through the hallways until I'm there.

Bella's sitting in the farthest corner, resting her head against her hands that lie on one of the arms of the chairs. She looks uncomfortable but warm with the giant brown jacket covering her body.

"Bella," I say, hoping that I haven't disturbed the other people watching a late night show on the TV. One of the guys turns to Bella, hitting her arm and gesturing to me.

I'm not surprised when I see that her eyes are puffy and red. She wipes under her eyes then runs her hand through her wavy, tangled hair. She puts the brown jacket behind her then stands up, raising her hands above her so she can stretch. She yawns and I wonder if she was sleeping just now.

"Hi." Her voice is barely audible even though she's in front of me. She gives me a tiny smile, but it doesn't cover up the scared vulnerability I can see in her eyes.

I'm sure me having to be here doesn't help at all.

"Hey," I say. I don't know if I should hug her or not so instead I shove my hands in my pockets. "How is he?"

She shrugs. "They haven't said anything yet other than they're moving him to Seattle in the morning."

I nod. "That makes sense. Seattle is bigger and has a rehabilitation center that will help him get better. Do you know how bad his stroke was?"

"It was induced by cocaine."

My lips come together in a straight line. That's pretty bad.

She huffs and sits down in the nearest chair, shaking her hand and putting her face in her hands. "I shouldn't have left him at my house alone. I should have made him come with me. I knew he would use, I just didn't know how bad it would be. I'm so stupid."

I bite my lip, unsure if of what I should do, but when I see her shoulders shake and I hear her sob again I say screw it. I kneel down to her level and lift her chin up so she is looking at me. Her bottom lip quivers as I take my free hand and wipe away tears.

"None of this is your fault," I tell her.

She sniffs and tries to give me her best smile.

Someone clears their throat and I slowly let go of her chin then stand up.

"Uh, Edward this is my dad's friends, Billy Black and Harry Clearwater. They're like uncles to me. Billy is Jacob's dad," she says quickly standing up.

They're both sitting with their arms crossed, glaring at me.

"Nice to meet you both," I say nervously, not sure if I should extend my hand. It doesn't look like they would shake it so to save my ass from being embarrassed, I stuff my hands back in my pockets.

"You know my boy Jacob?" Billy asks.

I nod. "I do."

"You one of them nurses like him?" He smirks, looking at Harry who is trying not to laugh.

"I'm a doctor, sir," I say, rubbing the back of my neck, glancing at Bella.

She rolls her eyes and steps towards me, wrapping her arm around mine. Her touch surprises me. "We're going to get coffee. Behave yourselves, please."

"You know we have a hard time doing that, Bells," Harry chuckles.

"And for the record, I know you're a doctor and he is, too. I'm not stupid." I can't tell if he's joking or not until a smile crosses his face. "I'm just kidding. Nice to meet you, Edward."

I laugh nervously, hoping that Bella's finally had enough. She has and I don't hesitate at all when she pulls on my arm, leading me out the room.

"Looks like the girl is in love," Harry tells Billy when he thinks we're out of hearing distance.

"Well until Charlie is better, we have permission to fuck with him." He laughs and Harry joins him.

Bella stops and taps on the window, gesturing to her ear. They immediately shut up and she rolls her eyes. "Protective asses."

It doesn't take us long to find the cafeteria. There's no one in there but a janitor. The only sounds are his soft humming and the mop hitting the floor. He looks up and smiles then gets back to work. Bella and I move quietly to where the coffee maker is.

"Hot chocolate. Really, Bella?" I ask moments later when I see she's pressed the button for hot chocolate instead of coffee.

She giggles. She fucking giggles and it makes my heart melt. I've missed her giggle.

"I'm still a little kid at heart." She shrugs, putting the cup to her mouth. She sips and her eyes roll as a smile crosses her face. "So good."

We take a seat in the farthest corner. We sip in silence, looking around and taking in the cafeteria. It isn't much different from Forks. We have the same floor, ceiling patterns and furniture. How the flood is organized is different though. Where our salad bar would be is their cereal or desert line. They have four lines instead of five likes ours and McDonald's is connected to the other end. We have subway.

"So," Bella says, playing with the edge of her cups. "How are things?"

I shrug. "Okay. How about you?"

She shrugs.

We go quiet again. The janitor finishes mopping the floor and quietly walks out, leaving us there in pure silence. For the first time it's an awkward silence.

I should say something. Anything. It doesn't even have to make sense. Just something to keep this from ending up like shit.

"I-"

"I'm-"

We end up speaking and cutting our sentences short at the same time. She looks down, biting her lip and blushing. She puts her hands in her lap and I set our coffees to the side. I hold my hand out for her to take. When she doesn't look up I wiggle my fingers. When she does look up she's smiling. She takes my hand and the spark I felt when we first met is there again. I smile back her.

"I-"

"I'm-"

We do it again, but laugh instead of coward away in embarrassment.

"You first," I say, squeezing her hand lightly.

She sits up taller and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. For making you jealous like that. I mean Jasper warned that doing that could make you angry like that, but I wanted you to feel exactly what I've felt. I only wanted to go upstairs for a little then he said he'd pay me extra and money doesn't hurt anyone. It was strictly a job thing until I saw you standing there. I could see you were on edge, like I usually am, but I didn't mean for you to fight and I shouldn't have gotten angry at you afterwards."

My eyebrows furrow at her words, then I remember Jasper's words.

_"You should be mad at her,__too, though. They kind of set you up."_

He was trying to tell me that the only reason Bella went up to the room was to make me jealous. The only reason she said those words to him was to make me jealous. She wanted me to feel what she was feeling. Boy did I feel it to another extreme.

"Well shit," I say, taking my hand from hers abruptly and putting it in my hair.

She slowly puts her hands back in her lap. Her face falls and she bites her lip, looking down.

"No, no, no. I'm not mad." I put my hand back out, but she only looks at it then at me, a questioning look in her eyes. "I'm not mad. I can't be. I don't blame you at all. I've put you through so much shit and all you were trying to do was make me see it. I saw it and finally realized it when I saw you walk away. I knew I was really about to lose you and that you wouldn't be here for long if I kept doing this shit to you.

"So I am sorry for everything I've put you through - for being a coward, for being a dick and for treating you like shit. You deserve so much better. You can do so much better, but yet it was me you called."

She finally puts her hand in mine and I rub my thumb across the top of her hand.

"It didn't take me long to figure out it was you I wanted, but it took me forever to figure out how I was going to do that. I figured it out though. I grew some balls and told Tanya I don't want to marry her or be with her or anything like that."

She gasps, her eyes widening with surprise and her mouth falling open. She lets go of my hand so she can jump across the table, grab my face and kiss me. I should stop her and tell her the rest before I get her hopes up once again but I've missed her warm, soft lips so much.

Add selfish to my list of things I am.

I grab onto her wrist then pull my lips from hers slowly. Her eyes are still closed when I open mine. I can't keep from brushing my lips against hers one last time. I watch her smile grow as she opens her eyes and sits back down.

"Sorry," she says with an innocent shrug. "I couldn't stop myself. So you told her?"

I nod, biting my lip and rubbing the back of my neck.

"Uh oh," she says, sitting back. "What happened?"

"She didn't take it too lightly." It's an understatement. "She threatened my family."

Her eyebrow rises.

I sigh and tell her everything Tanya said she would do if I'm not at the altar April thirteenth. I skip over the pregnant part because I don't want her to have to worry about it. I don't want her to think it's a setback for us. I don't want it to be on her mind until I know for sure what's going to happen.

"What a bitch," Bella mumbles when I'm finished. "That's not a real law is it? I mean she can't get her father to just ruin everything for your family."

I shrug. "Emmett's supposed to be checking it out."

She huffs. "Maybe you should have told her about me. I'm sure she would have let you go really quick."

I make a face. "I don't want to risk her trying to fuck up your life, too."

"My life's already fucked. How much worse can it get?"

"I just don't want to take anymore chances." I shrug. "So are we okay?"

She takes my hand in hers. "Yeah, we're okay."

...

"The stroke was severe," Charlie's doctor, Dr. Volturi, says. "I can't say I'm surprised. Test came back showing traces of cocaine in his system. Did you know about this?" He looks at Bella.

She nods, biting her lip. "He's been an addict since I was thirteen. We've been working on trying to get him to rehab, but-"

"I understand," he says, cutting her off which doesn't sit too well with me.

Aro Volturi is a nice guy, when he's not working. His head seems to go in his ass when he becomes the big, bad, know it all doctor. He went to medical school with Carlisle a long time ago. They didn't get along very well. Apparently he was jealous of my father always coming out on top.

"It's going to take a while before his brain is working semi-normal again and when it is he will have to do physical therapy for his mind and motor skills. All of this can be done at Seattle Hospital. They have a rehabilitation center for stroke patients, and if you're interested, they also have a outpatient center for addiction."

"I am interested," she says quickly.

"You know Charlie won't agree to that, Bells," Billy steps in.

"He's unconscious, he doesn't have a choice," she snaps. "You should think about it, too."

Billy doesn't say anything else. I think back to when Bella told me about Charlie's addiction. Billy is the one who introduced Charlie to cocaine and it's why they live together.

"Well," Dr. Aro says, clearing the air of tension. "We'll move him in about an hour. You can go home, freshen up, eat, and maybe even sleep then meet him there. As soon as I know his room number and doctor I will call you."

Bella nods. "Sounds good."

Dr. Volturi walks out, giving everyone but me a small nod and smile. I'm sure he glares at me, but I smile proudly that Carlisle is my father.

"We're going to head back to La Push, get a couple of things then go to Seattle, too. We'll probably get a hotel unless Jacob or Rachel wants to house us for a little bit. Do you want me to tell them you'll be staying or get you a room?"

Bella sigh. "That's fine."

I shake my head. "It won't be necessary, sir. She can stay with me," I tell them then look at her, "if you want."

"Uh, sure. That's fine." She stutters nervously. Billy and Harry share a quick look before shrugging.

"Well, let us know if you need anything," Billy says, stepping forward to hug her. "Do you need anything from the house you can think of?"

"I will and probably some of his clothes. He's going to be in there a while," She tells him as Harry moves to hug her.

Billy nods and steps to me, holding his hand out. "Nice to meet you."

I extend my arm and take his. "You t-"

I struggle to get the rest of the word out because Billy's grip tightens. My muscles tense as I try to keep a straight face. I feel like my fingers are about break but I try my hardest not to wince.

"Billy. Can you stop. Just because dad's not here doesn't mean you can take his roll on scaring the guys away. I can take care of myself. I'm not a little girl anymore, remember?"

A smile breaks across Billy's face and he eases his grip. He shrugs, still looking at me. "Sure, sure. See you around, Edward. Take care of our girl. C'mon Harry."

Harry gives me a nod. I can see he's trying not to laugh. Bella rolls her eyes, taking my hand in hers. I shake the hand that Billy squeezed and Bella gives me an apologetic smile.

"So you want to go to your house?"

She nods.

...

"It might be a mess," she tells me as we walk up the stairs of her apartment complex. "I had to throw shit around before the ambulance got here."

I nod, understanding.

She unlocks her door and steps inside, flipping the switch.

It's not as bad as she thinks. There are a few clothes, dirty plates and cups laying around, but nothing too drastic.

"You want anything?" she asks, throwing her jacket onto her couch.

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

"Okay. I'm going to take a shower and pack some clothes. Help yourself to anything."

It's almost eight in the morning. I haven't slept at all and I'm starting to crash from the coffee I drank earlier. Yawning, I walk to her couch and search for the remote. I pick up pillows, a blanket and the cushions before I look under the brown jacket she threw. Her cellphone rings as I press the power. I feel bad for answering her phone but when I see it's Port Angeles Hospital I know I have to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Is this Isabella Swan?" I recognize Dr. Volturi's voice.

"She's in the shower, but I can take a message."

"May I ask who I'm speaking with? I'm not supposed to give out this information unless it's family."

"Edward Cullen."

The line is silent for a second.

I smile sheepishly to myself.

He clears his throat. "I hadn't known you were with someone else. I thought you were getting married."

If I were in front of him I would probably glare at him, but right now I only have the tone of my voice to tell him to mind his fucking business. "That shouldn't be your concern, Doctor. Now please talk to me what you're supposed to talk to be me about."

"Right. Charlie will be in the ICU in the morning until he wakes up. We'll move him to the rehabilitation floor afterwards. He'll be in room 347."

"Okay. Thanks." I don't give him a chance to say anything back and hang up in his face.

"Everything okay?" Bella's voice makes me jump.

I look back at her. She's wearing a large grey t-shirt and black boy shorts. Her wet hair falls over her crossed arms. She stands, rocking back and forth on her heels. She's looking down at her black toe nails.

"Yes. Charlie will be in room 347 in the morning," I tell her.

She nods, moving to the side of the couch and picking up the brown jacket. The patch on the side of the arm catches my eye. It says La Push Police Department.

"Is that Charlie's jacket?" I ask.

She nods, looking down at it. "He was good at what he did."

"Tell me about it," I say, gesturing for her to sit down next to me.

Her eyes snap up, questioning me.

"I'm interested," I tell her honestly, shrugging a shoulder and patting the cushion next to me.

She bites her lip but comes and sits next to me. She tells me what she remembers about his job. He always came home with a story to tell her. She was always excited when he told her he arrested someone. She rode in the police cruiser and everyone thought she was cool because her dad was a police officer. She was the princess of the police station. Everyone there knew her as Chief Swan's daughter. She was proud of him.

We talk about a lot, but we never touch the subject of what both of us are dying to bring up. Us. We don't know what we are right now or where we stand. I still want her. I always will. I just need to figure this shit out with Tanya. I also don't know how willingly she'll trust me and let me in again. I don't blame her if she never does.

I don't know when I fall asleep, but when I wake up Bella isn't beside me. There's a blue blanket on me and Charlie's jacket is gone. Sitting up, I yawn and stretch. I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom so I get up and walk to where I saw Bella go last night.

Her door is cracked and I can't help but to look in. She's laying on her stomach, arms under her pillow and legs tangled in her sheets. Her hair is a wild mess and I can only see half of her face. She looks peaceful and calm.

I go to shut the door but it creaks, causing her to jolt up right. She looks around until she sees me. I give her a small smile and she sits up.

"Good morning," I say.

"Hi," she whispers.

Her eyes burn holes through me. I want to go to her and hold her.

Kiss her.

Feel her.

"What time is it?" she asks, running her fingers through her hair.

I look at the clock on my watch. "Almost one."

She nods. "We should get going, right?"

I hear her, but I don't speak. I'm too caught up in how beautiful she looks.

"Edward," she says, flailing her arms in the air.

"Uh, right."

She snorts, obviously seeing what I'm feeling.

She still has the same effect on me she had when we first met.

* * *

><p>I know you probably think Bella forgave Edward too quickly, or vice versa for those who think Bella's a bitch. But it's reality. We forgive the ones who hurt us the most because we love them *shrugs* it happens.<p>

For those of you wondering. Chapter 20 will be the prologue chapter. I rewrote the prologue, it just hasn't been posted yet. I'm in the middle of writing chapter 19 and whenever my beta has time to look at chapter 18, I'll post that. Please be patient and don't leave me!

Let me know what you think

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

I started school today, it sucks. I hate it already but I graduate June 6th at 7pm and I'm counting down the days!

I posted a little earlier than I thought I was but my beta is awesome. Much love to her!

Also, I know the chapters seem shorter. I'm sorry if that's a problem.

Anywho, we're getting to close to the big chappies that change ever thing. I think this story will end at 25 or something. Not exactly sure.

**But enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18<p>

**EPOV**

"Well look who it is." I recognize the voice, but I can't see who it belongs to until Bella let's go of my hand and is leaping into their arms.

"I forgot you work here," Bella says, wrapping her arms around him.

"Ouch, Bells. I'm hurt." He pulls away, dramatically clutching his chest. She hits his hand away giggling and I'm suddenly envious of how easily he made her laugh. She leans up and kisses his cheek.

He laughs when she sticks her tongue out and licks his cheek. He wipes his cheek off then tries to put it on her, but she moves quickly and ends up running into me.

"Shit. Sorry." She giggles. "Jake, you remember Edward, don't you?"

"Of course," Jacob says, smoothing out his white doctor jacket. "How could I forget Carlisle Cullen's prodigy?"

Bella's eyebrow rises. "Prodigy?" She snorts. "Him? Nah."

I roll my eyes, ignoring her and extend my hand to Jacob. "Nice to see you, again."

"You, too," he says then turns pushes Bella's shoulder. "I wouldn't underestimate him, B. Doctor Carlisle Cullen is good at what he does and from what I hear, so is Doctor Edward Cullen. Trained by one of the best."

"Sure." Bella rolls her eyes then goes to the edge of Charlie's bed. She touches his leg and Charlie's eyes open slowly. She speaks to him quietly, asking him how he feels and if he remembers anything before the stroke. He shakes his head no.

"So what are you doing here, man?" Jacob asks, hitting my shoulder to get my attention.

"What do you mean?" I ask, sounding more offended than I mean to.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just know how Bella is with the people knowing about Charlie. What makes you so special? Are you like secretly together? Wait, no, you're getting married..." he tries to joke, but soon his laughter stops and his eyes widen. "No way. Please tell me you two aren't sneaking around?"

I put my finger over my lips to tell him to quiet down before Bella hears us. She seems to be engrossed in her conversation with Charlie, then again, you never _really_ know with her.

"I need to go get the house keys from my father. Do you mind taking me there?" I ask loudly so Bella hears.

She turns around, still laughing at something Charlie said. "Wait. I want to introduce you," she says, reaching out for me.

I take her hand. She pulls me awkwardly to stand next to her. My stomach twists and my legs feel like jello. He's smiling at me though, but if he knew what I have put Bella through the last six months he would jump out of the bed and kick my ass.

"Dad, this is Edward. Edward, this is Charlie."

His eyes run over my appearance from head to toe. He nods then adjusts a little so he can extend his arm out.

I have to bend down a little to take his hand, but I don't complain. I expect a bone-crushing handshake and sigh in relief when it doesn't come.

Bella snorts, rolling her eyes and Charlie chuckles. "You must have met Billy or Harry."

I nod.

"They told me about you." His eyes close as he moves around a bit more. "Doctor Cullen's son, right?"

I nod, again. "The one and only. I'm sure you had to deal with my brother a couple of times when there were games in La Push."

He snorts so hard he starts coughing. Bella moves like she's about to help him, but stops when she realizes there's nothing she can do.

"He needs to sit up. Move carefully around the tubes and be careful not to upset anything," I tell her.

She nods, biting her lip then moves swiftly around everything connected to him. His coughing has calmed down a bit once she gets him upright. She looks at me, eyes filled with panic and question if she did it right. I give her a small nod to let her know what she did was fine. She nods to reassure herself.

"I should go get the keys now," I say, backing up. "Nice meeting you, Charlie."

He gives me a small wave and I leave with Jacob following me close behind.

"So," Jacob says when we're around the corner. "You and Bella? How'd that happen?"

I tell him about Bella and I briefly. I don't go into detail, but he's smart enough to get the missing pieces. When I tell him about fighting Tyler, he nods and smiles in approval. He grimaces when I talk about Tanya and her new threats. Once I'm finished his face is twisted into the similar expression that the other people I told had.

He sighs, scratching his head. "So let me get this straight. You met Bella, had a one night stand a couple days later, tried to break things off but it didn't work because she's hard-headed and you just can't stay away, and now your soon to be ex-fiance, if everything turns out right, is pretty much telling you, you have to stay or shit will get crazy."

I nod, putting my hands in my pockets and looking down. I'm embarrassed that this is something I'll have to live with and explain for the rest of my life.

"I see. Well, I can see you really care for Bella. The circumstances you two are under prevent you from caring and loving her the right way, but you do the best you can. Plus, Tanya seems kind of shady. At the Christmas party, all she talked about was how much money you two will have once you marry. Maybe she wants you for money?"

My eyebrows come together.

Could Tanya be using me for money? Yes. But why? Her father is filthy rich and gives her everything she wants. I don't have nearly as much money as he has and I wouldn't willingly give it to her if I did.

I shrug, putting the thought away. "I don't know, but I need to figure something out quick."

"I agree," he says, coming to a stop. We're in front of Carlisle's office. "Here we are. It was nice seeing you again."

"You, too," I say, holding my hand out. We cup hands and pull each other into a one armed hug.

"I hope all goes well and I'll get to see more of you. Take care of Bella."

I nod. I don't want to make promises. I've learned with Bella and me, you never know what could happen. "Thanks, man."

And with that he's walking back down the hallway and I'm thinking of how I'm going to ask Carlisle for a key to the house I once wished I would never have to sleep in again. I'm sure he won't mind though. With Esme gone for the next week he has to be lonely. I'm sure some bonding time with his "prodigy" son and a girl he's only met once wouldn't hurt.

I knock twice before opening the door. "Dad?"

He's at his desk. His face rests on his hand while he looks between two giant books. He has his glasses on and the only light illuminating the room is the small desk lamp in front of him.

"Dad," I say again, stepping in and closing the door.

His head snaps up and he rips his glasses off. His head tilts to the side then he leans forward to get a better look at me. "Edward? Is that you?"

I run my hand on the wall looking for a light switch. "Yeah. It's me."

"Ah, I heard you were here, but I hadn't known if it was true. Come sit." He holds his hands in the air then claps twice and the entire room brightens

Figures he would use the clapper instead of a real light switch.

I do as he says and sit down in the chair in front of his desk. He closes his books and takes his glasses off.

"So what can I help you with, son?"he asks, leaning back in his chair with hands above his head and a smug smile on his face.

I ignore him. "I need the keys to the house. A friend needs a place to stay while a family member is here. I plan to stay with her if you're worried about a stranger being in the house."

His eyebrow rises. "A friend who's a her? Edward, I'm your father, not an idiot."

"I don't know what you mean." I simply shrug, though by the look on his face it doesn't matter because he isn't an idiot and already knows.

"Edward. News travels fast even in a hospital." He sighs, sitting up. "The big news is that Doctor Cullen's son is here with another woman who is not his fiancé. They were holding hands and practically skipping down the hallway on their way to the room of an ex Chief of Police."

I swallow the lump in my throat, but say nothing. My sweaty palms run back and forth on the arms of the chair. I feel like I'm younger again and about to get lectured because I've done something he's not happy with.

"You don't have to tell me everything. I don't expect you to tell me everything. I shouldn't expect anything because I haven't done anything for you. But, if you're in trouble or caught up in something you shouldn't be, would you tell me?"

He face is serious and covered with concern. He isn't lying. I'm surprised and don't know how to react or what to say so I shrug.

I mean, I guess I would. If Emmett can't find a way to get around Tanya's threat, then I'm going to have to call in extra help. Carlisle has almost as much power and money as Eleazar.

He seems to relax a bit. "Okay. Can I ask you something?"

I shrug again. "Sure."

"Are you and Isabella Swan involved?"

Why should I lie? Soon everyone will know. I'll have to deal with his disappointment anyways. I'll have to walk this earth as Doctor Cullen's son who cheated on and left his fiancé, so why hide it now? I'd tattoo that name on my chest as long as I have Bella in the end.

"Yeah, I am. We are. We're involved."

He sighs, shaking his head. "I knew it. Your mom and I, we knew it. We talked about it on the way home from the Christmas party. Neither of us wanted to believe it, but it was all there."

I give a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

He snorts. "One. It doesn't take you fifteen minutes to smoke a cigarette unless your savoring it and making each drag count. Two. She had a big ass smile on her face when she came back in. Three. You had a big ass smile on your face when you came in until you saw Tanya."

I think back to that night. I hadn't even noticed if I was smiling or not afterwards. I hadn't really noticed anything other than how annoying Tanya was and how sexy Bella looked in that dress.

"Since when?"

"October."

"How serious?"

I think about it for a second. All the events in the past month. The sex, the I love yous, the fighting against each other, and me fighting because of her.

"Serious is an understatement."

"What about Tanya? The wedding's in a week."

"I don't want to marry her," I explain, rolling my eyes. "Before you ask, yes, I've told her. No she doesn't know about Bella and that's because she threatened the family if I didn't stay. She says she's pregnant and she says it's mine, but there's something not right. If it is mine I will be a father, but I refuse to marry her." I'm out of breath and irritated when I'm finished.

I've told this story twice today. It's a new record.

"When was the last time you and Tanya had sex?"

"January. I wore a condom though. We always wear condoms. Neither of us wanted a kid until after we were married." I run my hand down my face.

"So she's two months. Is she showing?"

I nod. "I couldn't tell until she put my hand on her stomach. It doesn't feel right."

"It doesn't sound right. What kind of threat did she make?"

I tell him her threat. I'm surprised he didn't grab his jacket that second and order Tanya, Rosalie and my mom home that instant. He looks furious.

"We'll figure something out, Edward. Until then, stay in the house as long as you want." He pulls off the house key from his own set of keys. "I most likely won't be home for a couple of days. There's a convention I'm speaking at."

"Thanks, Dad," I say, taking the key from him.

"No problem," he says, standing up and stepping around his desk. We clap hands and hug. "Oh and Edward. How I acted at Christmas was unacceptable. I shouldn't have been drinking and I shouldn't have said the things I said. I'm sorry."

I pull away from him. "I forgive you, but I think you really need to apologize to Rosalie and Emmett. Don't you think it's time to give up the whole 'I hate your relationship act'? I mean, they're happy and nothing is changing."

He nods. "Right. Will you tell Emmett to give me a call?"

I look into his eyes, seeing a man who truly wants to settle things with his eldest son. "Yeah, I'll let him know."

...

"You really don't have a choice in this one, Charlie." Bella's angry voice makes me slow down Then and stop at the door. I can see her standing in front of Charlie's bed with her arms crossed. "I'm twenty-two. I can't do this shit anymore."

Charlie says something, but his voice is too soft for me to hear it. Whatever he says makes Bella drop her arms and go back to the edge of his bed.

"I know that's what you want and if that's what it takes I'll leave this shit town. Just-just give me some time."

Whatever Charlie says makes her shake her head and stand back up.

"No. This can't wait. What if next time you end up dead?" She cries, covering her mouth with one hand and wrapping the other around her stomach as if she's going to puke.

I want so bad to run into the room and hold her and tell her everything will be okay. I'd help her convince Charlie that the rehab program here is good and it'll help. I'd do whatever it takes to stop her tears.

I don't know if I should go in the room, but I don't have long to decide because Bella is roughly pulling her bag over her shoulder and speaking her last words to Charlie.

"I'll give you a week to take this all in. Call me if you need me."

I back up a little to make it seem like I was just getting to the room. We almost bump into each other when she comes out.

"Hey." I try to act normal.

Her face softens a bit, but it doesn't hide her real emotions. "Hi. I'm ready to go."

"Everything okay?"

She only nods and even though I know she's lying, I don't push it. "Okay. Let's go."

...

The car ride is silent. Bella stares out the window the entire time and I keep my eyes fixated on the road. I relax a bit more when I pull into the driveway. Bella finally looks from the window, gasping.

"This is your house?" Her eyes sparkle as the surrounding lights hit her eyes.

"Was." I park and take the keys out of the ignition.

"It's beautiful," she says in awe.

"I'll let Esme know."

She nods, biting her lip.

I get out, grabbing her bag from the backseat and walk around to her. I open her door and take her hand then lead her to the front door. It takes me a while to unlock the door, but when I do I let Bella go inside first and follow behind her.

It feels weird being here when it's not a holiday. It feels weird to know I'll be staying here for a couple of days, too.

I look for a light switch. I can't find one then remember Carlisle clapping twice in his office. I clap twice and the lights come on.

Bella looks around with a somewhat confused look on her face. I only shrug, grabbing her bag.

"You want something to drink or eat?"

She shakes her head, yawning. "Just somewhere to sleep."

I nod. "Well, let me show you where you'll be sleeping."

The hallways are dark and I have to hold her hand to make sure she's keeping up with me. All of the doors are shut, making it harder to see, but soon we're in front of my room. Everything looks the same except the bed sheets that mom changes weekly even though people hardly sleep in here.

"This was your room?" Bella asks when I flip the light switch.

I nod. "It was better when I was in high school."

I used to have posters all over the wall. I had a keyboard in the corner and a wall of CDs. Now there's old navy blue paint on the walls, the keyboard is long gone and the CDs are in the attic at my own house.

I help Bella get settled in, showing her the bathroom and how to change the temperature of the room. Once she seems relaxed I figure I should leave and get settled in myself.

"I'll let you rest now," I say, kissing her forehead and turning away.

"You're not sleeping in here?" she asks when I reach the door.

"I didn't think you wanted me to," I tell her the truth. Sure we said we're okay and we kissed, but I didn't know where that put us. We didn't talk about where our relationship stands, but I guess we're about to.

Her eyebrows come together. "We said we're okay."

I shrug. "I didn't know if that mean we're friend okay or messed up relationship okay."

Her eyes roll and she looks down. "Our relationship isn't messed up. I just have bad timing for coming into your life."

I shut the door and quickly make my way to her. "You coming into my life was the best thing that happened to me. I'm the one who keeps fucking up."

Her eyes stay on the floor. "I wish you would just leave her."

Putting my fingers under her chin, I lightly lift her face up. "As soon as I find out how real her threat is I will. I'm not walking down that aisle. Okay?"

She nods, biting her lip. "I've missed you."

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, letting her rest her head on my chest. "I've missed you, too."

"Will you stay with me?"

I kiss her forehead. "Of course I will."

"Edward." Her saying my name is music to my ears.

"Yes, Love?"

"Love me."

* * *

><p>Let me know what you think. I'll send teasers when I get home from school.<p>

**Also**, I have an idea for my next fic but I need your help on deciding exactly what I want the character to be like. So just send me what you think you'd like to see.

**1.** Smart, intelligent has a lot going for her with jock, failing calculus Edward

**2.** Nerdy Edward with popular, cheerleader Bella

**3.** Popular, jock Edward with troubled Bella

Send me a number! **PLEASE!**

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

I thought I'd update tonight just for you awesome people. You amaze me every time I post. Also, thank you to everyone who told me which idea they like. I considered all of them and I still can't decide but I do have an awesome idea. I can't wait to post that.

Senior year is okay. I really hate all my classes except dance... and lunch.

Tomorrow's 9/11 and my thoughts go out to anyone who was affected.

Last note, this chapter has a song. It's called Shelter by Birdy http: / youtu(dot)be /QXwPUYU8rTI. It's a cover and it's awesome. The lyrics used in this belong to the people who wrote them, not me. They just awesomely go with them.

**Done talking, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 19<p>

EPOV

"I find shelter in this way," Bella whispers, lacing her fingers with mine.

"Under the covers and hiding away?" I ask, looking above us. The sheets rest on the tops of our heads and surround us like a tent. The candle I lit is our only source of light. It's casting our shadows onto the wall.

There are no barriers between us. We're simply naked and pressed together. Chest to chest, arm to arm and now palm to palm. Her legs overlap mine and wrap around my waist, bringing us closer together down there. You would think I'd be aroused at our position and unclothed bodies, but I'm not. I'm more than content and could stay this close to her forever.

I squeeze her hands and bring our arms above us. She leans in and brushes her lips against mine. "Can you hear me when I say that I have never felt this way?"

I nod. "I haven't either," I admit.

Her face falls as she looks down. I slowly bring our arms down and kiss her palm. She pulls away, but not enough for me to let go. I feel my forehead crease in confusion.

"What?" Did I say something wrong?

She shakes her head, but doesn't look at me.

"Bella, talk to me." I caress her cheek with my fingers.

She leans into them and doesn't fight me when I pull her face towards me. Her eyes stay fixated on her index finger making a circle on her palm.

"You have felt that way." I can barely hear her, but her words break my heart.

I shake my head, grabbing her hands and gently squeezing them to get her attention. I don't stop until she looks up at me. I shake my head again. "No, I haven't."

"You had to if you wanted to marry _her_." I catch the disgust in her voice and squeeze her hands again to make her stop before she gets herself worked up.

She looks back down, but I lean forward, brushing my lips against her cheek. "The way I felt when I was with her is nothing compared to how I feel when I'm with you," I whisper to her.

She sighs. but I can see she's not convinced that my feelings are true, but what reason do I have to lie to her? I want her, not Tanya.

I lift her chin, forcing her to look at me. "I'll cross the oceans like never before if that's what makes you believe my words. I love you," I tell her, letting her chin go and putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I want you to understand my love for you and feel it the way I feel it, too."

"I understand the way you feel. I just don't understand why me?"

The real question should be why not her.

"Bella," I say, pulling her closer to me. She looks down and that same strand of hair falls in front of her face again. I press my lips against her forehead. She folds her arms in front of her chest and I wrap mine around her back. "I wish I could mirror your image back at you so you could see the way I see you."

She pulls away, taking one hand to remove her hair. "Why can't you just leave her? Let's run away together. We can figure out if she's lying or not later."

My thoughts wander to running away with Bella - just me and her in our own world and house. We wouldn't have to worry about anyone. No one would know or have to know our story. We'd be starting fresh and clean. Together.

In my dreams, it'd be perfect.

In reality, not so much. My entire family is here. I can't just up and leave them. They barely know what's going on now. Esme knows nothing. If I just leave, she'd be heartbroken. If I just up and left without telling her about me and Bella, she'd be livid.

"Soon," I say. It's all I can give her and when I see her face fall I feel like a dick. I groan, running my hand down my face. "You deserve so much better."

She brings my hand from my face and kisses my palm. "You know." Her lip twitches into a weak smile as she stares at her fingers tracing the lines on my hand. "Everyone tells me I deserve better, but no one is willing to show me better. I like the way I feel when I'm with you, Edward," she whispers. "It's like I want to drown whenever you leave. I don't want better if it's not you."

"You're crazy," I say, putting one hand in her hair and the other behind her neck. I press my lips against hers, moaning as our tongues meet once again.

"Crazy for you," she says between kisses.

I push her backwards, kissing her face and climbing on top of her. I settle myself between her legs and whimper when I feel her warm, wet core against me. The sheets slide down my back and only cover my waist.

My lips and tongue attack her neck. I suck and bite, loving the way she squirms and grunts with pleasure. I kiss down to her collarbone, tracing my fingers down her sides, hips and thighs. When I look up her lip is between her teeth and her head is back. Her closed eyes shoot open when I take one of her breasts in my mouth, nipping and sucking just how she likes it.

One of Bella's hands is on my back while the other tangles in my hair, pressing me closer to her. Her eyes roll in the back of her head when I switch breasts. I can feel her hand inching from my back to my stomach and down to my dick. I shudder at her touch. It feels so good and I've missed it so much.

But this isn't about me.

"No," I tell her softly, sitting up and removing both of her hands from me. I hold her wrists in my hands and put them above her head.

"But I want to make you feel good, too," she whines as I kiss down her stomach.

I shake my head. "It's all about you, love. You deserve to feel good."

She relaxes and doesn't fight me after that. I make my way down to her perfect core and let my tongue do the magic. The only sounds that are heard are her moans and the occasional lapping sound coming from me. I let go of her wrists just so I can feel her hands in my hair, pushing me down and silently begging for more. I hitch one of her legs around my neck and bite down lightly on her clit.

"Edward!" She screams breathlessly. "Please. I need you."

It's all about her and whatever she needs I will give her.

I remove her leg from my shoulder and sit back on my knees quickly. She bites her lip as she lays there, waiting for me.

I can't help but to take my time as I look over her body. Her long, pale legs. Her small, flat stomach with her shiny belly button ring. Her perfect, round breasts Her beautifully shaped arms. Her gorgeous neckline. Her pink, swollen lips. Her mesmerizing eyes. The way it all looks at the candle light hits her skin.

"Edward," she breathes, bringing her arms up to touch my biceps. "Please."

I nod.

I crawl on all fours to her. I spread her legs with my hands and lean down to give her lips one final kiss. She moans and squirms a little underneath me, brushing her entrance against my dick. I can't stall anymore after that.

I set myself up at her entrance and push in slowly. I struggle to keep myself composed as I pull out. I put my arms on both sides of her head and she kisses my wrist.

"I love you," she tells me as I push inside of her again. Her back arches and her eyes roll.

"I love you, too," I say weakly, trying to keep myself from coming before her. I don't know why I'm so close already.

She wraps her hands around my neck and brings my ear to her lips. "It's okay," she coos, "Cum for me."

I don't want to because it's all about her, but I do, panting and grunting. She kisses my neck as I do, whispering how much she loves and how everything will work out.

I kiss her shoulder and roll us over so she's on top. She rests her head against my chest and I run my fingers through her hair.

Soon the candle burns out, her eyes shut and my fingers stop moving.

...

I wake up to something tickling my chin and collarbone. I smile when I hear her giggles and smell her scent. I keep my eyes closed until I can't handle not seeing her beautiful face.

When I open them I meet chocolate brown and a smile wider than Texas.

She's so beautiful.

We're in the same position we fell asleep in. The sheets are wrapped around us and our legs are tangled.

"Morning, beautiful," I say, smiling down at her.

She blushes, crossing her arms on my chest and putting her face in them. "Good morning."

"How long have you been awake?" I ask, searching for a clock until I remember I packed that in my college box eight years ago.

She shrugs. "Not long."

I nod. "You want some breakfast? Pancakes sound good." I lick my lips at the thought. I haven't had them in a while.

She shrugs again then pushes her self back so she's sitting on her heels. She pulls the sheets around her, leaving me uncovered. She giggles as I lay there like nothing happened and put my hands behind my head.

"How about we take a shower first?"

...

We're downstairs in the kitchen. I'm getting the pancakes ready and she's sitting on the counter, reading a magazine and telling me about her dream house.

"I want four bathrooms and I want each of them to have a theme," she says, not looking up from the magazine. "A beach, strawberries, sunflowers and... I haven't decided the last one."

I'm about to tell her how nice it is when the front door opens and closes. Bella and I don't move as we hear footsteps and keys jingle.

"Edward?" It's Carlisle.

I let out a breath I had been holding. "In the kitchen."

Bella doesn't relax at all. She's put the magazine down and fidgets with the white buttons on the shirt I gave her after our shower.

"I know I said I'd be at the hospital for a couple of days, but I forgot something here. I tried calling you, but you didn't answer." His eyes are on his Blackberry as he walks in.

"Yeah. It's upstairs on the charger," I say, pouring the first batch of pancakes in the skillet. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"Uh, sure." He slides his briefcase on the table. When he looks up his eyes freeze on Bella. His eyebrow rises and he looks at me. He mouths the word "wow" at me and I nod proudly.

I know, I know. She's fucking beautiful and sexy all in one. She also happens to be mine, twice removed.

"You must be Isabella," Carlisle says, moving to the counter. He holds his hand out for her to take and when she lays her palm on his he brings it up to his lips with a smile.

There's only been one other time I wanted to punch my dad. That was last Thanksgiving for ruining what mom wanted to be a special day. Now, as I lean against the counter, I struggle to remind myself he's my father and only doing this to piss me off so I don't take the spatula and pan then bang his head with them.

"Just Bella," she giggles. Fucking giggles.

My blood boils.

"Still beautiful. Who would have known Charlie Swan's daughter was a swan herself."

I roll my eyes. "Quite the charmer aren't you, Carlisle."

"Oh, son. Don't be like that. Just showing you how to treat a gorgeous lady like this. If you don't get your shit together then I may have to steal her away from you." He turns his face from Bella's to grin at me.

"I have my shit together thank you. I know what I want and what about mom?"

He let's go of Bella's hand and backs off a little. I smile to myself, but stop when I see his face. "She's threatened to leave me if _my _own shit isn't together by time she gets back."

"When exactly are they getting back?" Bella speaks up.

"Their flight leaves the eleventh, but they won't get back until the twelfth."

We still have a week to figure shit out... wait... "The twelfth?"

Carlisle nods.

"They're waiting until the night before the wedding to get back?"

Carlisle shrugs. "Esme says that was the only one Tanya could find and since the wedding is in the evening they have all morning to get ready."

"That's bullshit," Bella and I say at the same time. She smiles at me and I can't help but to admire how cute that was.

Carlisle puts his hands in the air as if he's surrendering. "I'm going by what your mother said."

All I can do is nod and let it go.

The assumption that Tanya has something up her sleeve is starting to make something click in my head. I don't know exactly what yet, but it's something. It's telling me I won't be walking down that aisle, not only because of my decision to be with Bella, but something that has to do with her, too.

...

Two days later, Bella is at the hospital with Charlie while I've stayed at home in hopes to mend the broken relationship between the two most important men in my family. I wish I could leave, but Bella took my car and Carlisle and Emmett's keys are in their own pockets.

Carlisle is sitting in his chair and Emmett sits next to me on the couch. Nothing has been said other than soft hellos and a "what the fuck am I doing here?" from Emmett. He didn't think this was going to work when I asked him to come down here and he still doesn't, but we have no choice but to sit here until everything's worked out.

"Okay," I say, standing up. "Can you just say an apology or something?"

I look at both of them. They both have things to apologize for. Emmett has said some pretty nasty things and what Carlisle said about his relationship with Rosalie should never be repeated again. I wish they would just let their pride go and spit it out already.

It feels like an hour has passed when Carlisle finally sits up in his chair. He rubs his hands together and runs them through his hair. His eyes land on Emmett, who's looking the opposite direction.

"Emmett." Carlisle's voice is strong.

Emmett doesn't budge.

"Son." His voice is weakening.

Emmett's leg twitches, but he doesn't turn around.

"Please." He's broken. He sobs, covering his mouth with his hand. A tear falls down his face. He never cries, at least I've never seen him do so until now.

"I'm a fuck up. I know. I was supposed to protect you from the world and support you the entire way. That's what I adopted you for. I screwed up. I know I did. I meant what I said at the time because I was angry. Angry that someone as beautiful as Rosalie could come into your life like that," he snaps is finger, "and make you turn away from something we had been working on our entire life. I was jealous of her and I acted on it. I know sorry may not cut it, but it's a start."

"Emmett." It's me this time. I touch his knee, expecting him to jerk away like he normally would, but he doesn't.

He turns his body to face Carlisle. There are tears in his own eyes. "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Both Rosalie and I did. We never wanted you out of our lives. We prayed and hoped that you would one day come to your senses so when we someday have children of our own you can be by our sides maybe even helping deliver them. I'm sorry for all the things I said, too."

"Now can we hug like family," I say cheerfully.

They both roll their eyes and Emmett punches my shoulder lightly then tells me to shut up. I feel like I'm ten again. I can't wait until Esme sees them.

They both stand up and step to each other. They're the same height now, Emmett slightly taller. They wrap their arms around each other and pat each other on the back. I sit back, smiling to myself. I feel good for once.

I feel even better when Bella walks through the door. Her eyebrow rises as she takes in Carlisle and Emmett. I pump my fist in the air. She laughs and rolls her eyes. I get up from the couch and go to her.

"How is Charlie?"

She shrugs. "Still stubborn."

"Sounds like someone I know." I grin and kiss her lips.

"Yeah, well you aren't complaining now." She winks and walks away.

And though I should have been, I wasn't.

* * *

><p>Carlisle and Emmett are better. Carlisle approves of Bella. I know some things you don't know (;<p>

Let me know what you think

Don't forget the chapter song!

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	21. Chapter 20 Part 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**I will take up to being a sucky writer. A/N at the end.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 20<p>

BPOV

I deserve better. I deserve so much better... but if better isn't Edward then I don't want it.

We've been good though. The last week and a half we've spent together has been good. It's been just us in his old home. Carlisle only stops by every once in a while since he basically lives at the hospital.

We don't speak of Tanya or the day that is coming soon - coming tomorrow. Emmett couldn't find anything, but Edward assures me he's not walking down that church aisle unless he's dead and in a coffin. It didn't help much since I'd rather not think about that either.

We're at his house tonight. He wanted to get some more clothes and I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I woke up with his arm around me and a blanket on my legs.

You would think I'd feel uncomfortable here, knowing that he shared this house with Tanya. They've had sex here. They've shared moments Edward and I will never repeat - just make better.

Maybe my head's in my ass for knowing I'm better than Tanya. How couldn't it be though? I know it. He knows it. I tell myself I am. He tells me I am, too. Everyone else thinks I'm better than her.

Emmett.

Carlisle.

Esme seemed to like me and if Rosalie wasn't up Tanya's vagina I'm sure she would, too.

Alice and Jasper like Edward. At least they do when I'm not sitting on their couch crying with a giant spoon and tub of ice cream to calm me down. I'm surprised Jasper hasn't tried to kick his ass, especially after the night he fought Tyler. Jasper seems to take his side though unlike Alice. I'm sure if she saw him she'd give him a piece of her mind even though it's not her place.

Charlie and Edward seemed to get along in the two minutes they met. Then again, Charlie doesn't know anything about our relationship. To him we're just friends and he assumes we're something more. He has no idea the extent of us. I don't think he ever will.

Everyone seems to like the idea of us together so I don't understand what Edward's so afraid of. Why doesn't he just want to leave now? Does he need closure or something? Will it make him feel better if we stay here and tell Tanya to never show her face in Forks or Port Angeles or Seattle or Washington state again? Does he have that power? No, but from what I hear her father does.

He has a lot of power apparently. He can make or break the Cullen family depending on what Edward decides. I don't think it's right. I asked Charlie, hypothetically speaking and using a false friendship, if she can actually do that. He was unsure and told me he would check, but it's almost too late to keep checking.

One day when I'm older, hopefully happily married to Edward with three kids and the dream house I'll be able to tell our story. I'll be proud of it because we ended up happy. People will call me crazy because I stayed even after everything, but if that's the name dubbed on my forehead for being happy with a man I love, then I'll wear it with pride.

I'll probably never know what made Edward so perfect in my mind. I'll never know why he was so special or why I _had_ to have him when I saw him. I'll never know what the fuck that spark was when I first touched his hand. I'll never know why I felt so lost without him.

Well maybe I'll know why, I just won't understand.

I guess if you look at it, my relationship with Edward is much like mine was with Royce. I'm a lot stronger but still naive. I never would have told Royce to fuck off. I always begged on two knees for him not to leave. He always stood over me, laughing at my weakness against him. He hit me more than once, but I've never told Jasper or Edward and I never will either.

I grew balls over time and stood up to Edward. I'll always run back into his arms though. It's home there. He would never physically hurt me and he doesn't emotionally hurt me intentionally. I don't like making excuses for him, but I do because I understand.

I wanted more than anything for him to just up and leave Tanya. I lied and told him it'd be okay if he didn't right away, but it ate me up inside. I thought if I told myself it was okay then I'd believe it.

My thoughts get me in trouble.

I thought by taking Tyler upstairs to the VIP room he'd just be jealous. I didn't know he would fight. That wasn't my intention. He did though, it was hot as fuck to see him angry and fighting over me, but it pissed me off. He thought after our fight he could just beat some guy because I'm _"his". _If that's the case I should've dragged Tanya's ass across the floor the minute I saw her.

It wasn't long until I needed him. That was the difference between before and that night.

Before I just wanted him because I could have him even though he wasn't mine. I wanted him because he wasn't mine to have. I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

The night Charlie had a stroke and went to the hospital, I needed him. I needed him because even though I was supposed to hate him I needed to have the feeling of him next to me. I needed him to tell me it was going to be okay. I needed him to translate Dr. Volturi's hospital words. I could've asked Jacob to come, but what could he have done? It took forever for Billy and Harry to get me calm enough to sit down.

When Edward walked in, it was like the big bad ass storm that was hovering over my head cleared. Everything was calm even though we had no idea how we were supposed to act around each other.

I was proud of him when he told me he told Tanya he was going to leave her, even if she did threaten him. I can't help but to think there's more, but I was so happy it didn't matter. It was a step, right? Right.

I hadn't planned to let him all the way in yet. I wanted us to go slow, at least until things cleared and we got an okay from Emmett. I couldn't wait though. I let my emotions get the best of me. Fighting with Charlie made me want, need, desire and not want to live without Edward all in one. I had to have him, inside me and all over, and I got him.

Sex with Edward has always been amazing, but that night it was like the Fourth of July, New Years and Christmas all together. I see one reason why Tanya won't let him go so easily.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asks.

I shrug. "Nothing special. Let's go upstairs?" It's a question with a lustful look in my eyes.

He smirks and moves his arm from my shoulder so I can get up. "Don't have to ask me twice."

I grab his hand and pull him up. I skip to the stairs as he calmly follows me. "This is so untraditional." I laugh.

His eyebrow rises. "What is?"

I turn around in his arms and reach for the hem of his shirt. "I mean, it's the night before you're wedding," I joke, trying not to laugh as his face contorts. "You should be out with your friends enjoying your last night as a _single_ man."

"Bella, what are you-"

"No," I shush him by putting my finger over his lips. "Relax. I'm kidding. C'mon."

I take his shirt all the way off, discarding it to the side. I attach my lips to his and our tongues dance. I walk backward as he guides us to the guest room, our room. His hands slide down my back and waist as my fingers run through his hair. He lifts up my dress slowly, grabs my legs so I can wrap them around his waist and picks me up.

We end up on the bed. My legs stayed wrapped around him and my hands roam everywhere on his body.

I swear there's nothing better than his body.

He lifts my dress up to my belly button and pushes his hips against mine. I can feel his erection pressing against me. I smile to myself and pull his face to mine. I run my fingers up and down his neck as we kiss. I turn my head, giving him access to my neck.

"I'm so sorry I can't be better," he whispers in my ear before trailing his lips against my skin. "I'm sorry I can't be the guy you deserve. I'm sorry I can't be perfect."

"Stop it," I say, pulling his face in front of mine.

His eyes are wet and a tear is threatening to spill over at any second.

Edward may be the more sensitive brother out of him and Emmett, but he hardly ever shows any emotion other than happy, horny, satisfied, or frustrated. This is frustrated to an entire different level.

I see more than frustrations when I look in his eyes. He's sad, tired and wants this to be over. He wants me. He needs me. He wants to be more than what he is for me.

What he doesn't believe is that despite everything he's just fine. It could be so much different.

If this were high school, I'd be the homewrecking slut and everyone would feel bad for Tanya. Edward would be considered a bad ass for fucking me while staying with Tanya. There would be a rumor around the school saying I gave Edward a STD and Tanya almost got it. It's be a bunch of bullshit.

But this isn't high school. It's real life.

Most people say I'm too understanding and take too much shit. Others say I'm a hardass and know how to take care of myself. Truth be told, I'm not really sure either of those people are right. Lost would be a better word.

"I love you, Bella," he says.

I feel his hot tear touch my cheek as I feel my own fall down mine.

"You, too." I kiss his cheek and unbuckle his belt. I use one hand to wipe his tear stained cheekbone and the other to slide his jeans down his hips. I hear his breathing hitch when I feel him through his boxers. He is already hard and I can't keep my eager hands from roaming to his waist band and pulling down on them a bit. He whimpers as I touch him.

He feels so good.

"Bella. I need you," he grunts as I run a finger over him.

I nod, kissing his chin and roll us over so I'm on top.

I can't tell if he's still crying as I back up slightly to pull his jeans and boxers off. I crawl back up to him to kiss him. I take his bottom lip between my teeth, sucking so hard he has to sit up. I let him go and he falls back. I run my hands up and down his chest.

I gasp when I feel his hands on my waist, pushing my dress up more.

I put my hands on his chest and hover over him. I can feel his tip at my entrance. I close my eyes as I slide down onto him.

"Fuck," I whisper as he moans.

We move slowly together, taking our time to really feel each other. He's deep inside of me. I can feel myself already on edge.

I wonder what he's thinking.

Is this as good for him as it is for me? Is it better for him than it is for me?

Is he really thinking of me or is Tanya on his mind, too?

The thought of Edward thinking of Tanya while we have sex scares me. I know I once challenged him to try not to think of me when he's with Tanya, but I don't want to be her.

"Edward," I whisper, closing my eyes.

He doesn't say anything.

"Edward," I say again, running my fingers through my hair.

His hands pull me down so his lips are right next to my ear. He kisses my neck before whispering, "Yes, love?"

"Tell me you love me," I moan as he grabs onto my hips and speeds our rhythm. Our breaths become heavier and I become louder.

He's killing me. I wonder if he knows that.

We fit so perfectly. We are so perfect. At least we could be.

"I love you, so fucking much," he says as we come hard, yelling and screaming each others' names.

I watch as his eyes close and his chest rise then falls. I want to touch his face, kiss his cheek or something, but I can't. He kisses my cheek and tries to wrap his arms around me, but I move before he can.

Sliding off of Edward I can feel the anxiety building in my chest. The fear that I wasn't good enough. The fear that what we just did isn't keeping him here with me.

I don't mean to compare myself to Tanya but it happens, naturally.

I turn onto my side. Edward lays beside me for a couple of minutes before scooting over to me and pressing his chest against my back. He moves the hair from my shoulder and kisses me there.

My body shivers. I hate how I react to him.

"I really do love you," he tells me.

I should nod or let him know I know he does, but I don't.

His kisses my shoulder again. I can feel his lips grazing my skin but I sit all the way up before he can press them against my skin once again. I push my hair over my right shoulder and he runs his fingers down my spine. "What's wrong?"

His voice is what makes me shiver this time. His touch makes a lump form in my throat. I really hate how I react to him.

"Please tell me." His lips are on my back.

I arch my back, hoping to get away from him before I give in to him too quickly.

Be strong. Be strong.

"If you really loved me you would just leave her." My voice cracks and a tear falls.

I feel the bed move as he sits up. He doesn't get any closer to me though.

"You know I would if it were that simple, Bella."

"So make it simple, Edward. Just leave her," I snap, turning around to face him.

I'm tired of that excuse. I should have never let it be an excuse.

"I'm sorry," he says as I run my fingers through my hair.

How can I be mad at him? It's my doing, too. I should be mad at myself. I am mad at myself, but it's so much easier to take it out on him.

I sniff, taking a deep breath and crawl to him. I push him back with one hand and climb on top of him. I graze my lips against his, making him sit up to meet me and showing me he still wants me. I shake my head and push him back down, going with him.

"Love me," I whisper to him softly.

He nods before pushing me over so he's on top. "Always."

* * *

><p>I am so sorry about how late this is. Senior year has kicked my ass so hard it's not even funny. I also had a mean writer's block.<p>

Obviously this chapter was the prologue in B's POV. There's a part 2. I divided the chapter because writer's block is still getting to me.

I have no idea when the next chapter will be up. If you don't want to stay with this story, I understand but I am finishing it.

Thanks to those still with me 3

I'll give a teaser if you review, btw (;

Let me know what you think?

**follow me on twitter:** twitter (dot) com /vampirelove345

**follow me on tumblr:** vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com

**& check out this story's page on tumblr**: vampirelove345 (dot) tumblr (dot) com /tagged /fic


	22. Chapter 20 part 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

Hello all. Sorry for the wait.

Thanks to everyone who's still with me, much love. Special thanks to my beta!

This part 2 to the last chapter.

_**IMPORTANT!It's heavy, not graphic, but heavy. If you have issues with drugs, self harm or anything like that you probably shouldn't read it.**_

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 20<p>

BPOV

"No! Let me go, Emmett!" The voice causes Edward and I to still our movement.

"Fuck," Edward says, frantically pulling out of me.

I would usually feel upset about the sudden loss of him inside me but the only thing I'm feeling is anxiety from what's going to happen as soon as the door opens.

"Tanya, let's just go back to the hotel!" Rosalie.

Edward is searching for his clothes. I can't move. I can barely breathe. I wrap the sheets around me, bracing myself.

"You can't just barge in!" Emmett.

"It's my house, he is my fiance and I can do whatever I want!" Tanya.

I sit up on my knees, waiting.

This is something Edward prayed would never happen. I never thought it would happen.

It's happening though. I'm not ready to deal with the Tanya's reaction to us. From what I can hear she already knows and isn't too happy about it.

Edward throws my dress at me and we exchange a look before the door is pushed open. It hits the wall with a loud smack. I flinch as I tug my dress over my head.

Edward growls.

Tanya glares, at me then Edward.

Rosalie covers her mouth with her hand.

Emmett stands behind Tanya. He silently apologizes. For not finding out if Tanya was bluffing. For not warning us about Tanya not not keeping her away He's apologizing for things he shouldn't have to apologize for.

I wonder if Edward knows he has a good brother.

"So _she_ is who you're fucking instead of me? Nice." Tanya sneers sarcastically. She looks me up and down then grins. "What's so good about her?"

I want to slap her. "I'm better than you'll ever be, bitch."

I shouldn't be mad. Edward was hers before he was mine. She has all the rights to be mad at me. If I had never come in the picture this wouldn't be happening.

"Right because sleeping with a woman's fiance is so much better." Her eyes roll and her eyes go to Edward. "I knew there was something going on."

"Tanya, I told you. I don't want to be with you anymore. The wedding tomorrow isn't happening. We're done," Edward says.

I smile to myself but frown as Tanya's grin grows. "And we've already talked about this. Your life is done if you don't walk down the aisle." She steps forward, hands wrapped around her stomach. I hadn't noticed the small baby bump she has.

I gasp, covering my mouth. What the fuck.

"Oh, Edward didn't tell you we're expecting." Tanya smiles at me, lifting her shirt and rubbing her stomach.

"We aren't expecting anything," Edward growls.

My ears ring.

"The hell _we_ aren't. This is your child, too. It will come into the world with its parents married or you know what will happen."

My eyes close. They open. I see Edward. I see Tanya. I see my trembling hands.

I feel my legs swing over and me push off the bed.

"Bella!" I hear Edward yell as I push past Emmett.

I feel a hand on me. I feel my body being turned around.

"Bella. Please. Listen to me." Edward continues to keep me from leaving. He struggles as I push his chest. He grabs my wrists, pulling me into him and crashing his lips against mine.

"Get off of me, Edward," I scream, pulling myself free and slapping his face. "How could you not tell me? Did you forget she's pregnant or something?"

His hands are in his hair. His bottom lip is between his teeth. "I'm sorry. I love you." His words are rushed. He knows time is running out. He knows time has run out.

There's nothing he can say that'll keep me from walking out.

I shake my head angrily. "Not enough, Edward. Not this time.

...

I'm not angry.

I'm not upset.

I'm not hurt.

I'm numb.

I'm frozen.

I'm nothing.

"Bella." It's Alice's voice.

I look around, taking in my surroundings. I'm at The Treasure Chest. I don't even remember driving here.

"Are you okay? You look hurt." Her arm reaches so she can touch my face.

I push past her. "I'm fine. I want to dance."

She follows after me. "Okay. Angela is high off her ass anyways and can't do shit."

I push the door open to the dressing room and push past the girls half naked. Angela is in a corner, smoking whatever it is and in her own land.

I wonder...

"You want to do a duet or what?" Alice asks.

I shrug, grabbing clothes and make up from the drawer. "It doesn't matter."

"Duet. I feel like we haven't done one in forever. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. How've you been?"

I really hate her questioning right now. I know she's trying to get something out of me but the last thing I want to think about is him...

"I've been good now will you help me get ready?" I snap and walk away. My hands run through my hand as I realize I'm taking my anger out on my best friend who knows nothing and did nothing.

She follows me to my vanity. She does my hair while I do my make up and try to get dressed. We don't make eye contact or talk but when I look up I really see her and I wonder how much time has gone by since we were together like old times.

Her hair is longer. Her skin paler but still glowing. She looks older, mature. She looks okay, happy. She looks concerned about her best friend who hasn't been around much.

I sigh deeply and she speaks.

"I know something's wrong but we're adults now and I'm not going to push it out of you like I used to. When you're ready to talk to me, I'm here. I don't know what's happening to us Bella but I don't like it. I miss you."

I bite my lip and look down. I feel like shit now.

She sighs. "I'll see you on stage." And she's gone.

I feel my bottom lip quiver as I try to keep myself from breaking and feeling. It doesn't work. I lose it. I don't cry though. I scream loudly, slamming my hands down on the counter and shove everything off of it.

One of the girls screams while others scamper around to find their stuff and leave.

"Rough night?" I turn around to see Angela slumped against her counter, smiling with what looks like a cigarette in her hand.

"Yeah," I run my fingers through my hair and around my neck.

"I have something that'll help." She smirks, shaking the cigarette.

"It's just a cigarette. I have a lot of those," I say, rolling my eyes and trying to clean my mess up. I know that cigarette doesn't have just tobacco in it, if any at all.

She snorts. "I'm sure you know what this is, Isabella."

Charlie and his addiction made me never want to get involved with drugs. I hated what he turned into when he was high. I never understood why it was such a good thing for him...

But as I step forward and take Angela's cigarette in between my fingers, between my lips then inhale and exhale I know I'm about to find out.

It's sweet but it burns. I start to choke.

She chuckles. "Give it a few minutes and you'll be feeling better in no time." Then she's gone, too.

She's right though. In the next ten minutes, I feel fine. I feel on top of the world. I'm giggling and acting as if this bad night hasn't happened. I dance with Alice like it's nothing though by the looks she was giving me she can tell something is up.

I get off stage feeling like a Queen. I walk, swinging my hips and my nose high in the air.

"Excuse me, Miss." I hear someone call to me.

I go to the voice. "What can I get for you?"

"I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are." He smiles, caressing my forearm.

I giggle and lean into him. "You are also beautiful."

My words don't make sense and are slurred together. I can't help but to laugh.

I brush my lips against his neck and ear. I can hear him chuckle and his friends hollering for him. I feel a hand on my arm and Alice's voice in my ear.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asks all but slamming the door behind us.

"Working," I answer.

"Look at me." She grabs my chin and makes me look at her.

"Ow," I whine when her grip tightens.

"Bella how could you be so stupid?" She screams at me.

I grab my head. Her voice is so loud. "Stop yelling."

She grabs my hands. "LSD, Bella? Do you even know what that can do to you?"

I shrug. No, I don't.

"What the hell has gotten into you? Does this have something to do with Edward?"

My heart shatters when I hear his name.

"God, Bella. You need to leave him alone."

"Fuck you!" I scream.

She grabs my shoulders and I push her off of me.

"Don't touch me you bitch."

"Really Bella? This is how you're going to treat your best friend. Well fuck you too!" And she's gone, again.

...

I don't know how but I end up at home safely. I stumble up my stairs, vomiting twice before I make it to my door. I knock everything over in my path as I walk to the bathroom and cut on the bath water.

I'm such an idiot.

I lost my best friend.

I fucked around with a committed man.

I fell in love with that man.

I lost that man.

He wasn't a man.

He was a bitch who couldn't make a decision.

An asshole.

A jerk.

A coward.

I hate him.

I love him and that's what hurts the most.

I want to stop hurting. I want to stop being in pain. I want to stop feeling. I want to be numb. Forever.

I'm searching for something, anything that'll end this pain. I need it to be quick. Painful but quick.

Should I write a letter? Should I tell them why? Should I tell Charlie I love him? Should I tell Alice I'm sorry? Should I tell Edward to marry Tanya and forget we ever happened?

Yes to all.

When my searching is over I feel like a thousand pound weight is on my shoulder. My chest is tight. My stomach is upset. There are tears streaming down my face. My legs are shaking. My hands tremble as I press the razor against my wrist.

It goes deep.

It hurts.

I scream but continue.

Blood drips.

On the floor.

On my clothes.

What have I done?

I grab my phone and call Alice before this is over. She needs to know what to do now. It goes straight to voicemail unsurprisingly.

"Alice. I'm so sorry," I cry into my phone while stepping into the bathtub. "I know you're mad at me for the way I acted and you'll be pissed at me when this is over but you'll be okay without me. I've always been a bitch of a best friend," I snort, laying my head back and closing my eyes. "I want you to have everything of mine. Take care of Charlie for me. Tell him I'm sorry and I love him." I open my eyes quickly.

I feel light headed.

I smile. "I need to go, Alice. Before this is over and it's too late to call Edward. Edward."

I run my finger over the bleeding cut over my wrist, watching the way it turns the bath water a faint red. "Tell him this isn't his fault. It's no one's fault. I'm just tired. I love you forever."

I click the end button then search for Edward's name. I click dial when I get to it. It goes straight to voicemail. I'm not surprised.

I don't know what to say.

Do I pour my heart out to him one last time?

Do I tell him I'll see him in hell?

Do I tell him to forget about me and take care of his family?

I can feel myself running out of time. My eyelids are heavy. I'm cold. My wrists burn. It feels like this water weighs a ton on my chest. I can't breathe. I cry. Hot tears run down my face.

"Edward." His name on my lips hurt but with one last bit of life in me I tell him the only thing that I can. "I love you."

My phone freely falls out of my hand and into the water. My body sinks down, spilling water over the edge.

My eyes close as I slowly let everything but my nose under the water. I can hear nothing but the splashing of water until finally darkness comes over me and I am entirely under water.

Love.

Life.

Meaning.

Over.

* * *

><p><strong>She's not dead. I promise.<strong>

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you think. Don't be mad at me because she's not dead.**

**You know where to find me. Twitter or tumblr. PM me.**

**Love you all!**


	23. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

Sorry again. That's all I can say.

Christmas break is coming up buuut my laptop charger broke. I have two entire weeks of nothing to do so I will find some way to post.

I AM FINISHING THIS STORY. DO NOT WORRY. Not finishing just wouldn't be right.

This chapter wasn't beta'd so all errors are mine. If there is anything drastic PLEASE tell me.

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 21<p>

EPOV

"Edward, I am sorry," Emmett says for the hundredth time today.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell him again.

It's true. He doesn't. He shouldn't have had to deal with any of this. He's an amazing brother.

"I'm going to go check on Rose." He pats my shoulder as he leaves our dressing room.

The only thing on my mind right now is Bella. I want to go to her. Hold her and tell her how sorry I am. Show her how sorry I am because words aren't enough anymore.

I get frustrated with my tie and throw it on the ground.

How could this have happened?

I let her go. I let her walk away. I let her leave.

I'm an idiot.

I deserve all of this that's coming my way.

I deserve to be in this room getting ready for a wedding that shouldn't be happening. I deserve to walk down the aisle to Tanya and marry her even though I don't love her. I deserve for the child in her stomach to be mine.

I don't deserve Bella, I never have.

"Fuck," I scream, slamming my hands down in front of the mirror.

"Edward." I hear Emmett's voice.

I look up and behind him is Rosalie. Her face is red and she looks like she's been crying or about to cry.

"What's wrong?" I ask, clearing my throat and trying to cover my own beginning stages of a meltdown up.

"Rose has something to tell you," Emmett says, stepping to the side and pushing her forward. "Tell him," he says in a serious tone.

It takes her a while to gain courage. Emmett and I stare at her, waiting. She rubs her hands against her dress, fidgets with her fingers and bites her lip until she finally sighs.

"The baby isn't yours," she says, looking away from me.

I feel the air in my lungs leave and the blood in my face drain. Emmett is quickly next to me, hand on my back and shoulder when I sway to left a little too much.

"Careful brother," he says, giving me a small pat. "What's the matter? You should be jumping for joy about this."

Deep down, I am happy.

Fucking ecstatic.

But I'm also shocked.

Even though I had a slight idea that something wasn't right about Tanya's pregnancy, I never thought it'd be the child wouldn't be mine. I never presumed her to be one to cheat. How could she do this? And I know I'm not the one talk, but why would she put a child she knows isn't mine on me? Why is she trying so hard to make me stay?

"The kid isn't mine?" I ask finally coming out of my shock.

Rose shakes her head. "No."

"How?" I ask, thinking of times where Tanya had time to cheat.

As far as I knew, Tanya was either at work or with Rosalie picking things out for the wedding... 

"The wedding is off," I say into the microphone.

There are gasps followed by whispers. I roll my eyes and continue.

"Tanya have decided that we are not made for each other. The child she bears isn't mine and I am in love with another woman. I have been for the last six months. We're sorry for wasting your time. Thank you for coming and supporting what never should have been."

And with that, I walk away. I can hear Tanya's mother sobbing and her father yelling after me.

"You promised me, boy!" He screams at me. He pulls me around and gets in my face, tightening his hands on my shirt.

"Get the fuck off of me," I say, pushing him.

He charges at me again but Emmett steps in front of him.

"Step out of my way you low life piece of shit," he sneers.

"Don't touch my son ever again," Carlisle says, stepping in front of Emmett. "And don't talk to my son like that ever again."

"Daddy." It's Tanya. "Dad, it's okay. This was my decision, too. Edward and I shouldn't be together when we don't love each other and the baby isn't his."

"Then who's baby is it?"

"That's another story," Tanya says taking her father's hand and leading him away. She looks back at me before she takes him into another room. I give her a small nod and she gives me a small smile.

Tanya and I planned to spend the rest of our lives together. It changed in a matter of months. I have no doubt that we loved each other. Hell, we probably fell in love but falling out of love was a lot quicker.

"Edward." It's Emmett. When I look at him he's holding my phone out. "It's Bella. She tried to kill herself." 

"You've got a lot of nerve coming here!" Alice screams as soon as she sees me. Jasper tries to hold her down in the chair to keep her from causing as scene but it's too late. People are already looking and she's half way across the waiting room.

I close my eyes bracing myself for her slaps, punches, kicks, and pushing. She pushes me and it sends me backwards. A loud smacking sound followed by gasps from our audience fills the room. I touch my cheek while she continues to punch and push me.

She tells me I'm a dick, a douche bag, a bastard, and that I never deserved Bella. She tells me it should have been me who tried suicide instead of her best friend. She tells me she should have kept her away from me, we shouldn't have gotten as far with our relationship as we did. We shouldn't have met.

She shakes my shoulders as I just stand there taking everything I deserve until she gives up and falls into me, crying hysterically.

"How could you let this happen?" She sobs into me, fisting my shirt. I feel her body relax into mine and my knees become weak. I take us to the ground and hold her.

Jasper finally walks over to us, eyes red and his hand in his hair. He touches Alice's shoulder and leans into whisper something in her ear. She looks up and over at the man who I assume is a doctor. Alice nods and gets up to go talk to him. Jasper scoot next to me.

"What have I done?" I put my elbows on my knees and my hands in my hair.

"I never thought it would come to this. If I knew, I would have stopped it. I would've stopped her. I knew you were trouble from the start. I mean, you lied using my name and you didn't even know me. I barely knew you but I had your back. I shouldn't have believed her when she told me the relationship you had was okay and she was fine. I knew she wasn't. Even though it's different from what she had with Royce, I could see it was killing her just as bad as Royce did."

I want to puke at the thought of making Bella feel like Royce did but I know I can't say anything. I'd be a hypocrite. I'm just as bad, if not worse, as he was.

"Fuck." I lean my head back, running my hands over my eyes. "How did you find her?"

"In a second," he says, nodding at Alice who is walking back to us.

"They said she just woke up and that one visitor is allowed. I'm going to go back and see if she's okay." She gives Jasper a kiss on the cheek then leaves.  
>Jasper and I take a seat in the far corner where we think no one can hear us.<p>

"I saw Bella come in, she looked dazed, zombie-like. I told Alice to go check on her. She did of course and when she came back she looked upset but told me they were dancing a duet together."

I imagine the last time I saw Bella. My bachelor party. A night that shouldn't have happened. A night that shouldn't have ended the way it did.

"The dancing was fine, as usual, but I could see something was off about Bella. Alice looked pissed when she got off stage. I continued running the club but I could see everything happening. Bella was leaned over, kissing one of the customers and Alice pulled her away. A few seconds later Bella stomped out of the club and Alice walked over to me, shouting that Bella has lost her mind and took LSD with one of the other dancers."

I feel my eyes widen and my stomach drop at the thought of Bella putting drugs into her system for whatever reason. I remember her telling me that she wouldn't ever because of Charlie.

"I closed the club early because I had a bad feeling about something," he snorts. "It was good timing because as soon as everyone was out and I locked the front door, Alice came out screaming and crying about Bella and that she thinks she tried to kill herself. She played me the voicemail and I knew we had to leave."

"What it say?" I ask with a shaken voice.

"That she's sorry and she wishes she had been a better friend. For Alice to take everything of hers and take care of Charlie." He sighs. "She also said that she was going to call you. You didn't get a message?"

I take my phone out and check but there's nothing but a couple of calls from my parents, Emmett, Rosalie, and Tanya's parents.

"No, I didn't."

He looks surprised but continues his story. "I drove as fast as I could. Alice was crying and trying to call her but it was no help and we knew why as soon as we got there. Thank god Alice had an extra key because I don't think kicking down her door would have helped anything." He takes a minute to prepare himself for the next part in his story. "She was in the bathtub. The water was bloody and I could only see her because her skin was so white and pale under the water."

I get chills as he describes the scene. I can't imagine being the one finding her.

"I got her out as Alice called 911. She probably should have done that earlier but we were only thinking about getting to her. I made sure she kept breathing and tried to stop the bleeding while the ambulance was on it's way. One of the paramedics said if we hadn't gotten there the minute we did she probably wouldn't have made it." He smiles proudly. 

"Un fucking believable!" Alice comes back into the waiting room, throwing her arms in the air pissed off.

Jasper, the rest of the people sitting in the waiting room and I watch her pace back and forth, somewhat afraid to ask what's going on.

"Uh... Alice..." Jasper speaks up after a few minutes.

She stops pacing and looks at him then glares at me. "You!" She points to me and charges at me again. "After all this shit the only person she wants to see if you!"

I jump up, bracing myself for some more blows. They never come though because Jasper has her on hauled on his shoulder in a matter of seconds.

"Put me down, Jazz." She beats on his back while trying to grab at me.

"Calm down first," he says amazingly mellow while adjusting his grip on her.

"She wants to see me?" I ask, truly shocked.

"Yes. I walked in there and she would barely look at me. I asked her if there was something I could get her and she asked if you were here." Her eyes roll and her arms cross. "Surprised me, too. Anyways, I told her the truth. That got her attention. She wants to see you."

Bella wants to see me. She wants to see me. Not Alice, but me.

"Are you going to stand there or actually go see her?" She asks annoyed. "She's in room 716. There's a nurse in there with her. You know, to watch her. Don't fuck things up or I will have your balls."

All I can do is nod. Jasper gives me a good luck smile. I turn away and walk into the direction Alice just came from.

My stomach churns as I get closer. My palms are sweaty and my knees are weakening. I feel my chest tightening and I have to stop multiple times to make sure I won't pass out.

What do I say to her? She wanted to see me after everything. What will she say to me? Does she still want me after all of this? Probably not... but what if she does? If she doesn't, I'd be okay with it. Upset, but nothing compared to how she's felt in the last months.

I knock twice before hearing her voice. "Come in."

I jump up and down while moving my neck around to prepare myself. I take a few breaths, making sure I go in with a strong composure.

"Edward?" she calls and I all but lose it.

"Fuck," I murmur to myself. I clear my throat before speaking to her. "Yes, it's me."

"Are you going to come in?" I imagine her eyes rolling and a small smile playing on the edge of her lips.

I take a few deeps breaths before going in. The nurse Alice was talking about is sitting in the chair in the corner with a magazine in her hands. She watches me as I come in. Her eyebrow is raised, scrutinizing me every step.

I can feel Bella's eyes on me. Watching me as I walk in. Waiting for me to do something, but what can I do? I've done everything possible and fucked it all up.

"Look at me, Edward," she says in almost a whisper.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading!<p>

Thanks for waiting!

Thanks for being awesome!

I love you all!

Merry Christmas, Happy H & K, I can't spell haha

much love.

follow me on twitter & tumblr! LINKS ON MY PROFILE


	24. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

So this is the last chapter before the epi. I've had a wonderful ride with you all. Thank you for sticking with me. Thanks for sharing your views with me. This was probably the most mature fic I've ever written and it turned out good for me. I'm happy you all liked it (:

I'll try to update the epi as soon as possible. It's my birthday week and I have a competition the next week so I don't know how well that'll go.

I can't thank you enough for sticking with me.

Btw, this isn't Beta'd so all mistakes are mine, hopefully they're not too big.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 22<p>

EPOV

It takes what feels like an hour to look up at her and when I do I feel like falling to my knees, crying and begging.

Her eyes are dark and tired. Her skin is pale. Her hair looks knotted and messy. She looks thin, the hospital gown barely staying on her shoulder.

She's a disaster because of me, but still beautiful because it's her.

A beautiful disaster.

Each of her arms have been stuck with two IVs. She struggles to work around them as she tries to hide her white wrapped wrist under her blankets.

I can only stare at what I caused her to do. She felt like it was her last resort because of decisions I made. I will never forgive myself for this.

"Stop beating yourself up," she says softly.

My throat is too dry to say anything back, but I want to tell her I deserve to be beat up for this. I deserve to be kicked, punched, slapped, and anything else that results in pain, bruises and cuts. It will still never be enough for how much I've hurt her.

"I heard Alice pretty much did that," she chuckles.

I can't help but to smile at that. I don't know how she can make a joke at a time like this.

I nod and clear my throat. "Yeah, she got a few punches in."

"Do you want to sit?" She gestures to the chair next to her.

I go to shake my head because I'm not sure I could sit still for a long time, but I'm not sure I can stay conscious if I don't.

So I do. Next to her. Only a few inches away from her.

I rub my sweaty palms against my jeans. She watches me, eyebrow raised.

"You nervous or something?" She chuckles and the nurse in the corner snorts from behind her magazine.

"Can you give us a minute, Tia," Bella says to her nurse, but she doesn't take her eyes off of me.

"You know what to do if you need me," Tia says, setting her magazine down and getting up. I can feel her eyes burning into me as she crosses the room. "Be careful," she says in a warning tone.

"They're sending me away. Alice and Jasper," she says when Tia shuts the door. "It's some retreat thing that'll help me with my coping skills and learn to be emotionally independent." She plays with her fingers.

"That's, uh, good though right?" I ask, rubbing the back of my head.

She shrugs. "I guess. I'm going to miss it here though."

"Where is it?"

"Florida. I'll be close to my mom. Yay," she says sarcastically.

I swallow the thump in my throat. "Maybe being around her will be good for you."

"Maybe, since apparently everyone knows what's good for me now," she scoffs, rolling her eyes and picking at her nails. "You could've been good for me."

I want to say something, but again, my mouth won't open.

Her eyes snap to me. "Did you really love me?"

The fact that's she's questioning my love for her hurts.

The fact that the reason she's questioning my love her is because I never showed her or let her know she was my heart and soul. She still is my heart and soul. I wouldn't trade her for anything now.

But now, it's too late.

"I did..." I pause, looking down at my hands. "I still do."

She snorts. "Right."

"Bella, from the moment I laid eyes on you and you touched my hand, I knew you were the one I should've met and been with those years I was with Tanya. I should have ended things with Tanya right then and there. I shouldn't have twisted you into these lies and made you deal with my cowardness. I should've swallowed my pride and loved you like a real man should. But I didn't and it almost cost you your life. And I know sorry will never make up for it, but I am sorry. So sorry that I put you through this."

Her eyes stay fixed on her fingers. Her hair draws a curtain over her face so I can't see her expression.

I'm starting to get nervous and become a coward again, but I need this to be said. I need to put it out there so there are no more barriers between us.

Whatever us is.

"I don't expect you to believe anything I say. I don't expect you to come jumping in my arms. I don't expect you to love me back. I don't deserve any of it. But I love you, and I always will."

"Edward..." she starts. "I do love you. Still love you. Always will love you. Feelings like this just don't go away. But I can't just take you back after all of this."

I look down and murmur. "I expected that."

"I'm not saying we will never be togthe, Edward. Just not now. I'm hurt and I don't trust you."

Her words sting but they are true. I can't be disappointed because I don't blame her.

"Okay." It's all I can say because I'm not going to try and change her mind about this.

I don't deserve her.

"I guess I should going now," I say, standing up and wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.

I stand awkwardly for a few more seconds before turning slowly on my heels and walking away.

"Edward," she giggles, fucking giggles. "No good bye kiss?"

I can't help but smile as I walk back over to her bed side and lean down. She moves her lips to my ear and whispers, "I still love you and there's still hope." She presses her lips to my cheek and I can feel her warm tears against my face.

"Don't forget me," she says before pushing me away.

...

"So that's it? You're just going to let her go?" Alice says, following closely behind me.

We're in the parking lot and after registering what is happening between Bella and I, I don't want to be in this hospital, town or state anymore. Alice has been trying to get me to stop walking since she saw me leave Bella's room, but I haven't.

"You cheated on your fiance and ended a luxurious wedding for her and you're just going to let her go? Edward!" Her voice cracks.

I stop walking and turn to her. "She doesn't want me right now, Alice. But when she does, I'll be there for her."

"Are you going to stay here while she's in Florida?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I think I'm going to leave for a while. I don't know where, but I can't stay here anymore."

"What if you don't find each other after this?" And in that moment I realize Alice never disliked me. She wanted things between Bella and I to work just like the rest of us. Even though it was a bad situation and even though it's too late, we all still have hope.

"I believe in fate, Al. If we're supposed to be together we will be."

* * *

><p>I know it's short but the epi will be coming soon and I'll be finished for good.<p>

I have another fic in mind, it'll be set in high school. Edward and Bella. Probably a drabble. So look out for it (;

See you soon!


	25. Epilogue

I told you I'd finish.

I love you all

Thanks for everything

I own nothing

* * *

><p>Epilogue<p>

EPOV

It's been over a year since I've seen Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Mom and Dad.

It's been over a year since I've seen the green of Forks, felt the rain of Washington and have been in the traffic of Seattle.

I've been traveling to a different state, every month, working from my laptop and staying in small but nice hotels.

The last I heard about Tanya is that she's engaged to the real father of the baby and has moved from to Olympia with him. Her father isn't happy, but he's dealing with it. She is his favorite after all.

I haven't spoken to Alice or Jasper. Whenever I call Emmett he tells me that they're doing just as good as the rest of them.

Even though I haven't seen them, I talk to them daily. Mom and Dad call me every night before they go to sleep. Mom gives me details on what I'm missing and Dad makes sure I'm doing okay financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I am doing okay financially and physically. Working from "home" is easier than people think it is and I work out when I get the chance. I keep up my hygiene and I make sure I'm eating right.

Mentally and emotionally, I'm weak.

I miss Bella. I miss her touch, her lips, her hands, her arms, and her scent. I think about her daily. I wonder how she's doing and if her wrists have healed completely. If she looks different, more beautiful than she already is. I wonder if the place in Florida they sent her to is helping. I wonder if she misses me back. She shouldn't, but I want her to.

I know it's bad of me to want that from her. I caused her struggle and pain big enough to make her drag two razors down her wrist.

My pain will never match up to hers.

...

"Dad, I'm coming home," I say into the phone.

"Home? When?" He sounds concerned. "Why?"

"Yes, home. I'm getting on a plane later today and because I need to. I'm tired of living like this."

"Okay, Son. We'd love to have you home. Do you need someone to pick you up?"

I started nod before I realize he can't see me. "Yes, please. My flight lands at 10:30 tonight."

"Okay. I'll be there." He sighs. "Your mom wants to speak with you."

I sigh, knowing that this conversation could be full of tears and pleas for me to never leave again. "Okay."

"Edward," she sobs. "Where are you?"

I look outside the taxi window at the passing palm trees. "Florida."

...

Sitting here waiting to board my plane is making me more nervous. What will going home do to me? Bring back more memories of her more than likely.

I'm trying not to think about her and how much I'll think of her when I do see her, but it doesn't work.

"Edward?" Her voice is in my ears.

BPOV

It's been over a year. I've been in Florida with my mom the entire time. I haven't gone back to Washington, but Washington has come to me.

Alice and Jasper visit monthly, they love the sun and beach. I've been trying to convince them to move down here with me, but Jasper has his club and Alice won't go anywhere without him.

Emmett calls me whenever he gets the chance. He was my comic relief while I was in the "drown yourself in self pity" program. He's been a great help and support system the entire time.

Carlisle and Esme called once, apologizing for Edward even though they had nothing to apologize for since they had no idea.

I've tried to forget Edward. Everyone has tried to make me forget. Alice, Jasper, my therapist, and even my mom. Nothing works though. He's supposed to be in my head.

In my heart.

In my body.

In my soul.

Even if I don't want him to be.

...

"I'm taking you to Italy. They have a great spa, nice clothes and a lot of single men," Renee says, smiling and getting our luggage out the trunk.

I snort. "Italy sounds wonderful."

"Don't be a brat. We're going to have a good time."

She's right. I know she's right.

"I'm going to go get some coffee," Mom says when we find a spot in the waiting area. She pats my shoulder reassuring herself that I'll be okay if she leaves for a few minutes. She's always like that.

Being here with her has given me an insight on what I should've had growing up.

A strong woman to tell me right from wrong when dealing with men is what I should've had and needed. It would've saved me from Royce and Edward.

I don't blame her for not being around like I used to though. I understand why she left and why I didn't come with her. I know why I stayed with Charlie, he needed me too.

...

I'm dreaming. I have got to be dreaming.

I pinch myself.

Not dreaming.

"Edward?" I say.

His bronze hair turn and his green eyes meet mine. My heart wrenches.

I don't know what to do. Should I stay? Should I keep walking like I didn't call his name? Should I say something more? Should I smile?

They prepared me for everything except what I should do when I see him again.

He stands up and runs his fingers through his hair, a sign that he is just as nervous as I am.

"Uh, Bella," he stutters, slowly making his way to me.

We stand there awkwardly, waiting for someone to do something.

We both open our mouths at the same time, but nothing comes out.

We wait some more before I finally speak up.

"It's been so long."

He nods, looking me up and down. "It has been. You look great."

I check him out, too. "You're not so bad yourself. Where are you headed to?"

"Home."

I feel my eyes widen. "Like Washington home?"

He nods, shrugging. "Yeah, haven't been there in a while. Thought I'd visit. What about you?"

"Italy," I snort. "Mom wants to have a girls' week or two."

"That's nice."

I nod. "I guess."

"Look, I'm sorry about everything last year. I know I'll never make up for it, but I'm so sorry."

I shake my head, stopping him from continuing. "I forgive you."

"You do?"

I nod. "I've moved on. It's a thing in the past that I learned from."

"Oh, honey." Renee's voice startles me. "Phil just called. He got hurt at one of his games, possibly a torn ACL. We may have rain check on this trip. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Mom," I say with a genuine smile because it really is okay. "I understand."

She kisses my forehead. "Okay Dear." When she pulls away she notices Edward and smiles. "And who's this?"

My anxiety has sky rocketed. "This is Edward," I choke out.

Her eyebrow rises. I nod. Anger flashes across her face.

"I always wondered what I'd do if I ever met you. I want to punch you where the sun doesn't shine, but I won't because I saw the way my daughter looked at you. If it wasn't for her standing here right now, you'd be dead. You just got saved, understood?"

Edward nods. He's just as shocked as I am.

"Good. Now my daughter is an adult and though she hasn't made the best decision about you in the last year I know she will now. I can see she loves you and everyone deserves love. Just use hers the right way this time."

He nods again as I wonder what is going through my mom's head.

"Okay. I will give you this second ticket to go with her as long as you promise to love her unconditionally. Do not hurt her again. I will kill you. That's a promise."

I see Edward gulp, but he nods.

Renee hands the tickets to me. "Be safe. I love you. Call me if you need anything."

And with that she's gone.

"Wow," I say.

"You can say that again." His hand runs through his hair.

"So do you want to go?" I wave the tickets in front of us.

He takes out his phone and dials a number. "Change of plans, Dad. I'm going to Italy." I hear Carlisle try to argue, but Edward hangs up.

I smile. "You do understand this isn't going to be easy right. It's going to take a lot for me to trust you again," I say softly and truthfully.

He nods. "I know."

"We'll take it slow. Build our way back up to the top."

"Maybe we should start fresh," he says, straightening up and holding his hand out. "I'm Edward Cullen, and you are?"

"Bella Swan."

"Are you single?"

I try not to laugh at the question that still hadn't mattered a year ago. "I am. How about you?"

"I am," he says, smiling. "But my heart's taken."

"What a coincidence." I take his hand in mine. "Mine is too."

* * *

><p>I hope you liked it. HEA just like you wanted.<p>

Look out for my next fic. Edward/Bella, drabble (:

See you soon!


End file.
